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Life is not a Dream

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ains, Jul 24, 2012.

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  1. Jul 24, 2012 #1
    ains

    ains New IL'ite

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    It took me 6 years to understand there is nothing called LOVE in a marriage.I have been struggling to see if atleast once I would be treated with repect....never once.

    Stayed away from family in USA all the while.Never once....
    MIL Visited...it gets worse,,as though I am married only to serve her and protect her from being hurt....felt like a slave.....

    I dont know if I can continue this marriage....should I divorce?
     
    ains, Jul 24, 2012
    ains, Jul 24, 2012
    #1
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  2. Jul 25, 2012 #2
    GodIsOne

    GodIsOne Gold IL'ite

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    Well...You have not discussed in detail.

    If you have already tried your best and you are very sure that nothing is going to change then go ahead with divorce. One suggestion though...Please do not divorce because you have bad in-laws. It should be about you and your husband.
     
    GodIsOne, Jul 25, 2012
    GodIsOne, Jul 25, 2012
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  3. Jul 25, 2012 #3
    falgunid18

    falgunid18 Platinum IL'ite

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    IMO -- if you think there is hope, happiness and love remaining between you and ur DH, then it can be worked out. Do you think is it worth crying while with him or away from him?
     
    falgunid18, Jul 25, 2012
    falgunid18, Jul 25, 2012
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  4. Jul 25, 2012 #4
    ains

    ains New IL'ite

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    I think I will not cry when i am divorced.Am sure of it....i think I am done.

    My husband is double minded.He said be good infront of my Mom ...Later its your world.....but...why cant we all be natural?why this acting?


    Also he has a mentality like.....EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT WINNING ITS OK...THE OTHER PERSON SHOULD NOT BENEFIT(nothing to do with me,)......and I try to take this attitute on my stride....its hurting to see how he treats other person(some one not at all related).
    I think its in his blood to belittle people
    He feals jealous if some one is doing good.....he feels happy...overjoyed if he hears something bad happenned to anyone.
    I hate this attitude of his.Very Very Selfish.
     
    ains, Jul 25, 2012
    ains, Jul 25, 2012
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  5. Jul 25, 2012 #5
    Maggie2009

    Maggie2009 Gold IL'ite

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    doesn't seem like a great guy in general. Still, analyse other pros and cons like your current financial status, visa status, plans for the future,support system like friends, family, etc and plan out what you need to do. time things right for your own good. good luck
     
    Maggie2009, Jul 25, 2012
    Maggie2009, Jul 25, 2012
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  6. Jul 25, 2012 #6
    neha8681

    neha8681 New IL'ite

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    I agree Life is not a dream.
    we have to think practical .
     
    neha8681, Jul 25, 2012
    neha8681, Jul 25, 2012
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  7. Jul 25, 2012 #7
    GMReddy

    GMReddy Silver IL'ite

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    dear op,

    as you said life is not a dream, one has to continuously work on ones own life...whenever it is going out of hand, one needs to take steps to bring it within ones control...for this one needs to give full attention to life...

    so, if it is relationship problem with your husband, work on it and see whether you can improve on it...also remember that even after divorce, life will be as it is today unless one has full control on it...

    so, at the end it may be our own feelings, perceptions that makes a particular situation, good or bad...

    take long term approach to life and build your life to reach your life goals...some times we may be seeing small problem in magnified glass, so think coolly and take a decision that suits you...

    best of luck...
     
    GMReddy, Jul 25, 2012
    GMReddy, Jul 25, 2012
    #7
  8. Jul 25, 2012 #8
    Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    Dear OP,

    I understand you are frustrated. Thinking calmly try to list top 3 things you like about him. If there are none then you definitely have to think long and hard about this marriage. Do u have children? How does he behave towards them?

    Is marriage counseling an option? Let us know.
    Good Luck
     
    Foundlove, Jul 25, 2012
    Foundlove, Jul 25, 2012
    #8
  9. Jul 25, 2012 #9
    apaasn

    apaasn Gold IL'ite

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    If yours is a love marriage there must be something you loved in him,if its an arrange marriage and you were in it for 6 yrs you must have had some good moments,right now you are angry about something think calmly what it is,try to work it out,talk to your husband,fight with him let him know what you want,and after everything fails then think abt divorce.
     
    apaasn, Jul 25, 2012
    apaasn, Jul 25, 2012
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  10. Jul 25, 2012 #10
    SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    LoL...
    You have knitted your fabric of life with the imaginary things like Love, Dream, Hope etc etc... The final fabric is like the "king's new cloths", shows the real life behind it always.. transparently.. leaves you naked.... the sooner that you visualize the other part of the real world in which you need to wear this fabric, the earlier that you will discard this fabric and try to use the threads of REAL life and you can never be naked..
    Hope that you will find the right cotton to weave your REAL Threads now :)
     
    SreeSri, Jul 25, 2012
    SreeSri, Jul 25, 2012
    #10
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