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Life is all about adjustments between your feelings and reality

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Oct 28, 2015.

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  1. Oct 29, 2015 #21
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    @jayasala akka glad you liked my post and feel that I have analysed every angle. To get that appreciation from an experienced person like makes me feel happy. True I also went through some of the feedbacks in that snippet IF I WILL BE A MOTHER .,

    Quote -Many women realise that it would be nice that if their children have grand parents with them,but that becomes practically impossible after one child formula has come into being.If both the husband and wife are the only son/daughter of their parents whom will they support? To do away with conflicts they better avoid both. - Quote

    You are 100% right akka

    True about grandparents akka. Yes adjustments are necessary from both sides. Now a days youngsters lead a hectic life , so sometimes they show their anger on the elders . Yes akka better to keep arm's length so no problem arises and all can be happy

    Quote -We have to agree that men, by nature, intervene less in domestic matters and seem to respect privacy better than men.This is not my opinion alone but seems to be common in all the households.DILs prefer the stay of their FILs,less controversial personalities,who can be satisfied with simple things and who may not interfere in kitchen work, menu and upkeep of things.In the same way sons-in-law also are cordial more with fathers -in-law than with wife's mother.- Quote

    You have brought out the present situation perfectly akka.Sorry to know about your eldest sister.

    Thanks Jayakka for your thought provoking feedback as always
     
    iyerviji, Oct 29, 2015
    iyerviji, Oct 29, 2015
    #21
  2. Oct 29, 2015 #22
    sreeram

    sreeram IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice snippet ma. Yes i too agree with you ma. A family should always be lead, guided and supported by the elders. They are always a big support to youngsters and grandchildren. We require some one to hold us when we fall, to teach us when we fail, to guide us when we are mislead, to be with us to share our happiness, to be with us in every step we take.

    I strongly believe that elders are the pillar of strength for a family. Like it takes both the hands to clap, it needs to be understood well by all generations to have peaceful and happy family.
     
    sreeram, Oct 29, 2015
    sreeram, Oct 29, 2015
    #22
    1 person likes this.
  3. Oct 30, 2015 #23
    sreeram

    sreeram IL Hall of Fame

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    Viji ma, i have sent you a PM.
     
    sreeram, Oct 30, 2015
    sreeram, Oct 30, 2015
    #23
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  4. Oct 30, 2015 #24
    thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

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    Very nice post madam.

    The beauty of Indian families lies in its unity. Grandparents provide invaluable inputs in the upbringing of children.

    Lucky are the children who grow up in the shadow of their grandparents.

    Some people find flaws with this arrangement and argue that it is a dysfunctional system and reflects that the adults in such families are not really adults.
    Hope your post is an eye opener for such lot!
     
    thegirlygirl, Oct 30, 2015
    thegirlygirl, Oct 30, 2015
    #24
    2 people like this.
  5. Oct 30, 2015 #25
    Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Vijiakka,

    Blessed are the souls who can match their feelings with reality. The rest will have to adjust their feeling to the reality. Wherever they live, it is more important that they live happily. One should not allow conflict to exist in the heart. Guilt should never play a role in life. Whatever one does, he should do with pure heart. If the children decide to be with the parents, they should do it happily. If the circumstances warrant the children to be away from the parents, they should continue to shower love to the parents but should never feel guilty for not being with the parents.

    Similarly parents who decide to stay alone should never make the children feel guilty. If they decide to be with the children, they shouldn't regret the children not pursuing career overseas like other children. Before making decisions, one should evaluate all options. After that they should lead a happy life. Staying away from parents or children doesn't mean lack of love.

    There is a perception that children who live overseas are selfish and don't care about the parents. This is far from truth. In fact staying away makes them long for parents. Many children who live with their parents don't treat them well. In fact the adult children who live with the parents happily keeping their parents happy as well are blessed souls.

    Viswa
     
    Viswamitra, Oct 30, 2015
    Viswamitra, Oct 30, 2015
    #25
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  6. Oct 30, 2015 #26
    sangeethakripa

    sangeethakripa Gold IL'ite

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    -Dear Mam

    This is where the the difficulty arises. Though we know the means, implementing is the toughest part here. Unable to put down the thoughts / problems from the brain. Reading IL and practising to put down:coffee



    [/QUOTE] Life is all about adjustments..
    Between your FEELINGS and REALITY…
    At every stage..
    You have to QUIT..
    Your FEELINGS and accept the Reality… [/QUOTE]

    How you could put down great thoughts in a simple words .. Hearty Kudoos .. :hatsoff
     
    sangeethakripa, Oct 30, 2015
    sangeethakripa, Oct 30, 2015
    #26
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  7. Oct 30, 2015 #27
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    @vaidehi dear true dear you rightly said children being with grand parents is heaven on earth but circumstances does not allow everyone to stay with them. Sorry to know that your circumstances does not allow your kids to be with grandparents. Now a days its all due to the job that children are away from their parents .Job is very important so we have to adjust ourselves and be happy .

    In that me and my husband are also not fortunate to be with grand kids and miss them very much. We should be happy that due to modern technology we are able to see them through internet and talk to them.
     
    iyerviji, Oct 30, 2015
    iyerviji, Oct 30, 2015
    #27
  8. Oct 30, 2015 #28
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you @HemalathaRangar, Hema dear for your concern, ya you can call me aunty, ya dear his soul is always present and he must be blessing my daughter always
     
    iyerviji, Oct 30, 2015
    iyerviji, Oct 30, 2015
    #28
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  9. Oct 30, 2015 #29
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    @sreeram dear glad toknow you also agree with me and feel that they are a big support . Thanks for your thought provoking feedback. Your parents and in laws are lucky to have you as daughter in law
     
    iyerviji, Oct 30, 2015
    iyerviji, Oct 30, 2015
    #29
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  10. Oct 30, 2015 #30
    daisy2015

    daisy2015 Platinum IL'ite

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    Viji ma, your post has come as an advice to me. I was thinking from a long time about an ongoing problem, and you are right if we too much it will cause only ache.
     
    daisy2015, Oct 30, 2015
    daisy2015, Oct 30, 2015
    #30
    1 person likes this.
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