Life & Death

Viswamitra · Oct 24, 2015

“Om tryambakam yajāmahe sugandhim puṣti-vardhanam ǀ
urvārukam-iva bandhanā mṛtyormukṣīya māmṛtāat ǁ”

“OM. We worship the Three-eyed Lord Who is fragrant and Who nourishes and nurtures all beings. As the ripened cucumber (with the intervention of the gardener) is freed from its bondage (to the creeper), may He liberate us from death for the sake of immortality.” When once Brahma asked sage Naaradha what was the most amazing thing he noticed on earth, Naaradha replied, 'The most amazing thing I saw was this: The dying are weeping over the dead.' Those who are themselves nearing death every moment are weeping over those who have died, as if their weeping has an effect, either to revive the dead or prevent their own death! Gauthama Buddha's father was so overcome with grief when he saw his son with a begging bowl in the street that he told him thus: 'Every one of my ancestors was a King. What misfortune is this that a beggar was born in this line?' Buddha replied 'Every one of my ancestors had a beggar's bowl, I know of no king in my line.' All are beggars at the gate of God. The hero is he who does not beg or cringe or flatter or fawn. He knows that the Lord knows best. “Bikshai Paathiram Yenthi Vanthen Aiyane En Aiyane
Pindam Ennum, Elumbodu Sadhai Narambu Udhiramum Adangiya Udambu Enum”

“I came with a begging bowl to you, dear God
This body eventually taken by you is covered with bones, nerves, skin and blood”

What am I proud of? My body, mind and intellect? Am I proud of the success I can derive from my own effort and will power? Can I accomplish anything I put my mind to? Can I delay my birth by a few minutes so that I could be born with a horoscope of a king? Can I delay my death by a few minutes so that I can die on Vaikundha Ekadasi? Is my child a belonging? Did he come to pursue my agenda? Can I take all the wealth I accumulate when I am ready to leave this world? Other than my character, what else is being looked upon by those who continue the journey of life? How can I liberate myself from the bondage? How can I break the cycle of birth and death?

If I carefully review my life, I can understand that I don’t have control over most of what happens in my life with an exception of how I can react and respond to a given situation. What is the point in sweating over everything that I don’t even have control over? Everything that I believe belongs to me are perishable and transient other than my own character and my efforts to remove encryption that is embedded in me. I come to this world empty-handed and leave empty-handed as well. My physical body, mind and intellect that I am proud of everyday is made in this planet and reside in this planet. My child is merely a possession that I hold as a trustee as long as possible.

Can I convince myself to do my duties and don’t hurt anyone as my motto of life? But who determines my actions as performing duties and not hurting anyone? Is that my mind? Can it be truthful unless I subordinate the powerful mind into introspection mode? I can be the greatest psychologist in the world but can I with full confidence say that I have understood my own behavior? Can I explain the phenomena of life and death?

The best option would be to understand the limitation of time, recognize the gift of birth that is awarded to me to perform actions, feel loving the fellow beings provides greatest sense of fulfillment, control my mind and senses, realize that nothing belongs to me, practice moderation, put a ceiling on desires, accept the life as it happens and count the blessings. The best option available to me is to live life with courage and avoid fear of anything including death. One who believes I have no death would conquer death. If I buy a fruit, it becomes useless if it is not consumed in time. Why can’t I apply this simple principle to understand how life should be led? The present moment is everything in life. No one is going to question pursuit of happiness. But I have to ask myself a question whether it is permanent or transient. I have to find the meaning to my life. For that I need to surrender to the Lord and learn my samskaras. “Bhaja Govindam, Bhaja Govindam, Govindham Bhaja Moodamathe” said Adi Sankara. When I become who I really am, I have no need to know anything more.

vaidehi71 · Oct 24, 2015

Thanks Viswa Sir,

As usual no words to express my feelings and thanks for writing this thread.

I too understand these aspects. There is nothing which belongs to us. I remember the saying I think by Pattinathar ' Kathuarundha oosiyum kaanathu Kaan Kadaivazhike'. The meaning would be that not even a needle without the eye will be taken with you at the end. That means we don't take anything with us in the end. Nothing at all. We leave everything body and everything else. Only the soul leaves us and as per our Karma will either seek another Janma which can be in any form or goes to God. Birth, death and everything is not in our hands. Our body, its health is also not in our hands. The only thing we have is how to use it and that is something which we have control. Having said that we do need a healthy body to do so. If for any circumstance the body is inflicted by illness which hampers from even day to day living, then the mind does not follow the commands as the physical pain is too much to endure. I am seeing such people and it would be difficult to preach the same for them. We need to be compassionate to them and their needs would be different and they have difficulty just to survive in this world. They find that to just to earn for the basic necessities, bring up their kids in this world itself is very hard. All we can do is to pray for those unfortunate souls to endure those sufferings and help them if possible.

I understand whatever you had written and I agree with it. Most of us are able to accept the fact, that death is inevitable. As you stated it is quite difficult only when it comes to our near and dear. We do see some people who face the worst tragedy of seeing their kids die before themselves. It would be quite hard to tell them that yes, we all are going to die in the end. The grief they face as parents surviving whilst having lost their kids, is incomprehensible and sometimes we just are speechless except to give them the hand and support as required. We are with grief when we see relatives who die at older age, imagine when the same occurs at young age and they have families who are dependent on them. This can happen in anyone of us and that is when the problem of acceptance of the truth becomes hard.

Even if we all know the truth and the spiritual teachings of our religion there comes circumstances where we are not able to comprehend to the situation and are overwhelmed with the tragedy. While all I can think is because it is purvapuniya papa palan because those who have a lots of sufferings are really very nice people with good behaviours and good human beings in general. I really could not find an answer to why they had to suffer and that makes me think is it is because of past deeds in past Janma and all I can do pray to God for their well being and offer help.

As usual just writing what I am thinking. I could never write like you or give the answers which you had hoped to get. But it is always a pleasure to read your writings on philosopy and spirituality.

PavithraS · Oct 24, 2015

Viswamitra;3636959[FONT=Tahoma said:

“]
The best option would be to understand the limitation of time, recognize the gift of birth that is awarded to me to perform actions, feel loving the fellow beings provides greatest sense of fulfillment, control my mind and senses, realize that nothing belongs to me, practice moderation, put a ceiling on desires, accept the life as it happens and count the blessings. The best option available to me is to live life with courage and avoid fear of anything including death. One who believes I have no death would conquer death. If I buy a fruit, it becomes useless if it is not consumed in time. Why can’t I apply this simple principle to understand how life should be led? The present moment is everything in life. No one is going to question pursuit of happiness. But I have to ask myself a question whether it is permanent or transient. I have to find the meaning to my life. For that I need to surrender to the Lord and learn my samskaras. “Bhaja Govindam, Bhaja Govindam, Govindham Bhaja Moodamathe” said Adi Sankara. When I become who I really am, I have no need to know anything more.
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[/FONT]"Om tryambakam yajāmahe sugandhim puṣti-vardhanam ǀ
urvārukam-iva bandhanā mṛtyormukṣīya māmṛtāat ǁ”

When I read this Sloka you have quoted , it was not me reciting it , but it was my Grandfather's soothing voice that I heard. Tears fill up my eyes.

This sums up pretty much everything about how to carry on with our life and be certain of our Moksha . I myself am of the opinion not to worry too much about the Sastram, Vedantam, Upanishadam and all other higher philosophies which cater to the Quest of many intellectuals who keep on exploring and glorifying the subject matter i.e., the Supreme Almighty, but to be aware of the Hand of God in everything , and sincerely perform my day to day Karma, however small and mundane it be . Simple. To me it is not about the Destination but about the Journey .

Viswa Sir , Thank you for this post at the most appropriate time in my life.

Regards,

Pavithra

Viswamitra · Oct 24, 2015

Dear Vaidehi,

Having said that we do need a healthy body to do so. If for any circumstance the body is inflicted by illness which hampers from even day to day living, then the mind does not follow the commands as the physical pain is too much to endure. I am seeing such people and it would be difficult to preach the same for them. We need to be compassionate to them and their needs would be different and they have difficulty just to survive in this world. They find that to just to earn for the basic necessities, bring up their kids in this world itself is very hard. All we can do is to pray for those unfortunate souls to endure those sufferings and help them if possible.
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There is no question in my mind that we need a healthy body to pursue our action. We need to explain nothing to anyone. Who am I to preach anything to anyone? Am I enjoying the best of physical and mental health? I feel my suffering from Bavaroga is the worst of all diseases. Without any doubt, we need to be compassionate to everyone understanding the very reason why we were born is to fix our defects. Lord knows how to take best care of everyone He created and I can only be considerate and compassionate to everyone around me.

As you stated it is quite difficult only when it comes to our near and dear. We do see some people who face the worst tragedy of seeing their kids die before themselves. It would be quite hard to tell them that yes, we all are going to die in the end. The grief they face as parents surviving whilst having lost their kids, is incomprehensible and sometimes we just are speechless except to give them the hand and support as required. We are with grief when we see relatives who die at older age, imagine when the same occurs at young age and they have families who are dependent on them. This can happen in anyone of us and that is when the problem of acceptance of the truth becomes hard.
Click to expand...

My grandmother's sister had only one son who finished his Engineering and went to Thirumala to worship Balajee. It used to be a practice to dip oneself in Pushkarni before having dharshan of Balajee those days. He did it and drowned in Pushkarni. When his lifeless body was brought home, my grandmother's sister lost her mind and remained in deep depression for 3 years. She wanted closure to her sufferings. Finally, one fine day she had a dream that her son died only as per wish in the holy place. After than she found a closure and continued her life with devotion and faith.

Pavithra last her dearest Grandfather who raised her to become who she is now. She wrote a touching snippet about her loss and she responded to me that the only thing she could do at this point is follow his rich values in her life. Akanksha lost her cousin to cancer who suffered several set backs in her life including the lose of spouse. I have lost my niece's husband last week who went overseas for vacation with his wife and daughter. He faced a heart-attack all of a sudden and died overseas. We all face such situations throughout our lives. We cry about things which is normal human emotion. Everyone has either faced or will face death of near and dear at some point of time.But do we have the ability to fix them? There are number of parents who raise children who are physically or mentally challenged and I see them all the time. When I see those parents, I feel like touching their feet for their dedication to raise their children. They go above and beyond normal parenting to look after their children. But my mind tells me that when such children are born, the parents are gifted with enormous patience and determination. When I see the children suffering from autism, I always feel that they would never have another life because they can't use their mind to hurt anyone.

Honestly, I believe each one of us are challenged because we don't have the knowledge that we are bonded to this world. We believe everything that is unreal as real. We don't even attempt to understand the purpose why we came here. I feel every life born in this world are suffering from Bhavaroga with an exception of a few. That in my view, is the disease that could be cured only by control of our mind. Only thing I can do is to be compassionate to every being around me and I can only pray for their well-being. God is the most compassionate Being and He knows how to help everyone He created.

Understanding and believing that there is divine power who knows how to be compassionate to everyone gives a great sense of relief to me, at least. We have the habit of assessing our own life from birth to death and find reasons for us facing some crisis. Do we know what we were in our prior lives? When we face crisis, we cry, "What harm I have done to anyone and why I have to face this?" Honest answer is, "We don't know". For that reason only, I said in my snippet that I need to surrender and try to understand my Samskaras.

I am not the best in presenting my thoughts and I write whatever comes to my mind. I am sure it lacks clarity. I did my best to explain what I tried to write in my snippet and I hope it makes sense.

Viswa

Viswamitra · Oct 24, 2015

Dear Pavithra,

Thanks for responding to this post. When I wrote this snippet, I had your loss, Akanksha's loss and my own loss in my mind. It touched my heart when you wrote back to me that the only thing you could do is to follow his values. I wish I had the same level of maturity at your age. The Lord is great and when He gives a loss to us, He also gives enough courage for us to face it. There is no one more compassionate than the Lord and your signature says, "Anbe Sivam.... Love is God". You are very right about the life. It is not about the destination and it is all about the journey and how well we enjoyed it.

Viswa

vaidehi71 · Oct 24, 2015

Thanks Viswa Sir.

Yes, All we can do is to surrender to Almighty and hope he helps everyone and we do our duty with compassion. Thanks for the detailed reply, I am ever grateful for all the threads you have written, make me think more spiritually and also change the way I think on a lot of issues.

jskls · Oct 24, 2015

Viswa Sir, having undergone loss at various stages of my life , it has taught me what no scriptures could teach me. Well written. Sorry for your loss. Vaidehi had mentioned it all. I do not have much to add.

Viswamitra · Oct 24, 2015

Dear jskls,

Thank you for your response. It is true life teaches more lessons than the scriptures. But it takes a brave person with a good heart to understand such lessons.

Viswa

jayasala42 · Oct 24, 2015

Dear Viswa,

A great snippet as always. You have dealt with it all. Vaidehi's response was simply superb.As she has said, however much one has read philosophical texts, grief over personal loss is very heavy than that of others.Recently my niece lost her 35 year old son, recently married with twins,in an accident. She was simply uncontrollable when I spoke to her.While we returned to our routine within a day or two,she is not expected to return to normalcy though she pretends to be brave just to be a source of strength to her daughter-in-law and kids.

To the average man death is by no means a pleasant subject or talk for discussion. It is something dismal and oppressive — a veritable kill-joy, a fit topic for a funeral house only. The average man immersed as he is in the self, ever seeking after the pleasurable, ever pursuing that which excites and gratifies the senses, refuses to pause and ponder seriously that these very objects of pleasure and gratification will some day reach their end.

If wise counsel does not prevail and urge the unthinking pleasure-seeking man to consider seriously that death can knock at his door also, it is only the shock of a bereavement under his own roof, the sudden and untimely death of a parent, wife or child that will rouse him up from his delirious round of sense-gratification and rudely awaken him to the hard facts of life. Then only will his eyes open, then only will he begin to ask himself why there is such a phenomenon as death. Why is it inevitable? Why are there these painful partings which rob life of its joys?

What is life worth, if eyes that once sparkled with joy, eyes that once beamed with love are now closed forever, bereft of movement, bereft of life? Thoughts such as these are not to be repressed. It is just these inquiring thoughts, if wisely pursued, that will ultimately unfold the potentialities inherent in the human mind to receive the highest truths.

According to the Buddhist way of thinking, death, far from being a subject to be shunned and avoided, is the key that unlocks the seeming mystery of life. It is by understanding death that we understand life; for death is part of the process of life in the larger sense. In another sense, life and death are two ends of the same process and if you understand one end of the process, you also understand the other end. Hence, by understanding the purpose of death we also understand the purpose of life.

Poet Bharathi's "kaalaa, en arugil vaa;unnai kaalaal uthaikkiren"( O God of death,come near me.I shall kick you").This song always comes to my mind when I think of death.

Whenever the topic of death is taken for discussion Tagore's Gitanjali stands before me.

Anytime ‘death' may knock at our doors. What shall we offer the guest? “All the earnings and gleanings of my busy life, will I place before him. The flowers have been woven and the garland is ready for the bridegroom. After the wedding the bride shall leave her home and meet her Lord alone in the solitude of night.” — Tagore in Gitanjali .

These Gitanjali verses can be read with much appreciation when we are at leisure and in normal mood.

But when one's close relative is dying,we can't expect to have a garland ordered in advance to welcome death.

Tragedy always produces strong emotions — anger, fear, depression, worry, and sometimes guilt. These feelings are scary to us, and we don't know what to do with them. When we have experienced a major loss, these feelings bubble up within us. If you don't deal with them now, it will take you far longer to recover.

One common misconception is that grief progresses in a linear fashion and slowly and steadily gets better with time. In reality, grieving tends to be a day-by-day process, and some days will be easier than others. There is no clear duration that grieving is supposed to last; “stages” can come and go and everyone will experience them differently.

Another misconception is the idea that if someone is not outwardly displaying their grief, they are “doing well” and “staying strong.” This is a misplaced value that tends to be encouraged in our society, as many people are uncomfortable with displays of raw emotion and designate them as a sign of weakness. Holding your grief inside can actually repress your thoughts and feelings in an unhealthy way. Often, such repression can lead to your grief resurfacing at an unexpected point later in life. Allowing yourself to feel, to sort through your emotions, and to mourn outwardly are very important steps in the healing process, .

At times of grief, just pour out either by weeping or lamenting or writing.Let there be some outlet.Pretending to be brave or highly philosophical and giving a lecture about the inevitability of death etc are unwarranted. Let human nature prevail.

After giving vent to our sorrows ,it will automatically dawn on us that after all, life is a small journey from the womb to the tomb. Where is the question of success or failure? Life is not a game in which someone is keeping a score of achievements. We are the persons who can give a pattern and meaning to our lives. Let us be happy and await the divine call.

Jayasala 42

vaidehi71 · Oct 24, 2015

Jayasala mam,

I am sorry for your niece's loss. No words will help, but we can only help in that way. My prayers for her too to help her endure her distress, which is never going to go away. May God help her and her DIL and her grandkids.