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Life after loosing your partner

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Induslady, May 6, 2007.

  1. Induslady

    Induslady Administrator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    As our forum grows bigger, we found that there are quite a few of you who have lost your spouse and living single. Here is a space for you to find each other and interact.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 21, 2007
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  2. Bhooma

    Bhooma Bronze IL'ite

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    Re:

    Hi folks

    thanks a lot for starting this.

    as a "single woman" I welcome notes , comments, thots, discussions .. on anything that you feel is relevant....

    I never felt that I was "different" when I lived in the Middle East... but here in chennai .. its sad that .. we are 'singled' out .... may be we can discuss more on that ?

    cheers

    Bhooma
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 12, 2007
  3. prabha

    prabha New IL'ite

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    Re: Widowed Ladies Space

    I agree with Bhooma that widowhood is just a phase, and world over women tend to outlive men even in India which is not a female-friendly place. Therefore we are not different, except to the extent that we ourselves internalise a certain inferiority.

    In many feminist circles there is an active effort to mark every phase of a woman's life, even those that are not usually celebrated. Rape is one such event, which tends to scar a woman for ever. If on top of the bitter injustice of that violation, women are asked to cover up, then the body expresses that trauma in cancer, MS heart disease, etc.

    Widowhood should be acknowledged and "recovered" -- meaning that we should refuse the "inauspicious" tag foisted on us, and present ourselves as temporarily unpartnered! There are many lives after this one, many opportuinities!
     
  4. sandhya19

    sandhya19 New IL'ite

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    hi everyone,
    this is my first posting since i joined,i felt like replying b-coz this topic is very much related to me,i lost my dear loving husband a year and half ago,then i thought my life is impossible without him and just cant live a single day without him(i was carrying my second child then),but now i look down through this one and a half year,i cant believe myself i managed without him,i delivered a healthy boy and taking good care of my two kids ofcourse with the help of my parents and siblings,will try to live better with my kids all my life but his absence will always be felt by my heart:-(
     
  5. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    dear malathy,
    when u had sent a link like this, i was very very upset and one of my article too came through, but still what is the use i have had my experience here none come forward to make friends but they actually read indus like a magazine and dont open up, so it is saddening whether this thread will also get good patronising, any way i await with great enthusiasm for it to take off in a colorful manner...regards sunkan
     
  6. prabha

    prabha New IL'ite

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    I'm not sure what Sukan means by widow section.

    We had decided to rename this thread Life arfter losing your partner, because it emphasised the potential for self growth and contribution to society.

    Moderator, you have missed my posts earlier -- check, ok?
    I was part of the original discussion of renaming this thread.

    Anyway Sukan, Kamalji is in the right place, the right thread. As for how to post, I think the moderator should step in for that. We want more encouraging voices and helping hands here, ok? And Kamalji, welcome, there is an enormous world out there waiting to benefit from your time and courtesy and caring mind. Welcome again!

    Today is 15 August, my late husband's birthday -- I remember with gratitude those sweet hands that pulled me up and patted my back.
     
  7. Induslady

    Induslady Administrator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Prabha,

    Thank you for coming back and making a post. As you rightly said, this thread has been renamed to "Life after loosing your partner" as there is so much to life.

    Indusladies.com helps build enduring and authentic friendships among Indian women. The connecting aspect of these friendships doesn't have to be necessarily based on shared interest, it could also be based on a shared life-stage as well.

    You write wonderfully well and we sincerely hope that you contribute to this thread and also open up a few more threads that brings out certain unique things that women in this stage of life would want to share. I know that there are a good number of IL'ites who share this life stage with you, we just need a few leaders like you to pull them out so they can also start sharing!

    Thankyou Prabha.
     
  8. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    prabha,
    i was chiding kamalji as he is a happily married man and writes a lot,
    one of the best rankers in another site just like mr sri, he also expressed to join here so we all dig at him and he never minds, only ladies keep alert a very witty and naughty kamalji that he is, hope all will enjoy his write ups the way i did..sunkan

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2007
  9. Aabhi

    Aabhi Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    Today this morning, when I was going through our Indusladies threads, I happened to see this thread. You won't believe how touched I was, to see this topic "Life after loosing your partner". With this, IL has once again proved that this is not the place where in we just come to share happiness, fun, recepies, health, movies.............. but also to share such delicate matters like this one.

    I have a major reason to be a part of this thread that is because Iam the only daughter of my single mother. My dad passed away when my mom was 28 years old carrying me on her womb. Since day 1, I was born into this world till today I have seen her struggling each & every day to survive. I would say this as a Mission impossible for me, but my mom made it possible. Thankfully, god has blessed her with a job to make her run. She ran, ran and ran for everything just to bring me up. She would have easily got married to any person, but sacrificed her whole life and happiness just for my well being. She gave me life, blood, body, education, good culture, manners, marriage, wealth................. what not. And has succeeded in achieving all this. But today, she is old with health issues. Though I take care of her in all ways (at my best), she doesn't have my dad to just atleast to hold her hands and say it's OK , you've done a great job without me. When we go for walks, we could see old couples walking and chatting with each other. Whenever I see this, it pains and I have a guilt on me, that because of me my mom is all alone in this world. Iam ofcourse there for her, but I can never fill in my Dad's place. Yes, my experienced tells me that "No one in this world can fill in the place of a partner" except GOD.

    Your life will not end if your partner passes away. If situation permits and things are O.k, please try to get married again. It's not at all a sin. Thinking about kids, 100's of womens in India are not remarrying and sacrificing their lifes. The only meaning in their life is KIDS. I personally feel, this should change. They too have all the right's to lead happy life. We have to move on.

    Get close to God. God is the only stable partner for every soul in this universe.
    Let god give strength. And please do not hesitate to share your happenings/thoughts over here. We are all here to support. After all we all belong to one virutal family "Indusladies"

    And dear Prabha,
    Belated birthday wishes for your late husband. Iam sure he is with you (only difference is - not physically)

    Dear Sandhya,
    Great job. You remind me of my mom. I could imagine your delivery. But still, you did it. Kindly convey my wishes & blessings for your kids. You can do it. Don't worry.

    Dear Bhooma,
    You are right, being a single women is India is much much different and difficult than other countries. I wish you all the best.

    I pray for their souls.
     
  10. sandhya19

    sandhya19 New IL'ite

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    hi Aabhi,
    thanks for ur cheers.i think my life is just a repetition of ur mom's .i really hold great respect for her.as you mentioned i too am being pestered by my family to remarry,but for that i have to remove my late hubby from my heart,and that's not possssible ,i have his beautiful memories in the form of two kids!as far as other things,i am trying to live a happy life.
    thanks once again
    sandhya:)
     

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