Life after divorce

huggs... cuppcake.... and i love ur avatar...

 

Just happened to read your thread. Very happy to see you with this strength and happiness. You deserve a better life soon, and I am sure that God is responsible to protect you this time, no matter what.

I had gone through a near divorce experience a couple of years back in my life. I had a love marriage, and then with too much of influence (negative influence to separate us in all the possible ways) by our in laws, the love faded out within a few months, and then the problems started. We too had a distanced relationship post marriage for various reasons, which allowed our enemies to jump into our lives easily.
Once, when I was pregnant with my son hell broke lose, and I lost all my patience and this was where we separated. I then delivered my son at my mom's home, and waited for my husband to visit us (despite he lived in the same locality with his parents). He didn't come.
All my savings (some millions) were kept in a joint account, which both had access. I forgot about it with all such pain and trauma, but when I really needed, I could see only 50% of my saving was in the bank, and the rest was already taken.
My land deeds, house doc, and everything was under his custody. I didnt have a job that time, as I resigned it to save my marriage then.
I felt miserable to stay with parents, answering all the silly questions of others about us, no money, no job, a total dependent situation for the first time in life (after by adulthood) and most importantly a baby in hand. It was just too much for me.

Meanwhile, we had fights and arguments with in laws family all the time, which ultimately lead me to attempt to committing a suicide. I've taken too much of aspirin tablets, and injured my gastrointestinal area to death.
By God's grace, I am survived, and felt too ashamed of doing such a silly thing by leaving my son alone.

It was like my second birth. I stood up for myself. Learnt to ignore things, and fight back for life. I got my job back, got all the remaining bank balances and saved them securely. Moved to a new town with my son and mom where I joined to a new work (in the same organization).

Had new friends, new responsibilities. Meanwhile my son started learning new things and his love made me forget all my past.
I completely ignored my in laws, and sent a divorce notice to my husband.

This is where my in laws realized that they can not make me a fool once again. It is a great success to make your enemy upset by seeing your strength. I did that.
After all their failed attempts, they simply forgot about me; so about their son too.

After our marriage, my MIL showed a special care to my husband and made him feel too special at his home, so that he would feel detached towards me. Somehow it happened.
But later, she simply ignored him, made him feel useless there. He felt too bad as he didnt have a family at some point in his life. He also lost his job, the remaining savings in our joint account, his son's attachment, his loving wife..... and his social respect.

After a year, during my son's first birthday, he came towards us. Cried loud for his mistakes, and promised that he would never repeat the same ever in his life. He agreed to have no/limitted contacts with his evil parents. He had already decided to re unite with us a couple of months back before he actually came in. He said, he waited till he gets back a job to show up.

I initially rejected, but with time, I could not stay away from him. I could not resist loving this guy by seeing he has no home to reside. My son too became to attached to his dad, so I didn't want to separate them either.

Now a days, he treats me so good. Take cares of the kid with real love. Repent for his mistakes all the time, and assures that he will never ever do it again.
His parents too try their best to please me, but I never loved them before to get melt down now. So, it's like a one way relationship.

However, with this lesson... I learnt to have my individual life. I have my own saving, own spending, own circle of friends, own FOO, and everything. I am no more physically or emotionally too dependent on him like in the past, so he can not cheat on me that easily now. Even if he does so in the future, it won't affect me that seriously.

We both are now in a middle point, and leading a happy life.

 

No words to describe how brave you girls are...My problems seem little now...and in an indirect way you cupcake and SGBV have shown me what it is to be a strong independent woman...I wish you all the best for your future from the deepest corner of my heart...

 

hi, cuppcake

am really very proud of you. all the best for your evergreen future.

 

Hi cupcake! Seems like I missed ur inspirational life story in my time out from IL.
You are so brave n perfect example that no matter what life goes on n it is up to us how we shape it. Either we can choose to be depressed or we can divert our mind n eneegy in something constructive.you remind me of my post i choose to be happy! Hats off to u girl!wish u the very best in finding ur better half n a very happy life!

 

Hi Cuppcake,
Read your very very inspiring post. I was in a very abusive marriage myself...now staying away and have decided to leave him for good. In my case problems started within a week of marriage.....but I put up with everything just to make it work. At the end realized that some more time with him and I would start behaving/thinking like him and his family.
Reading your post gave me a lot of courage....more so especially because my real test will begin now...with the divorce proceedings and all.
All the best Cuppcake
Love
Wondergirl