Hi TuffyShri, Now i am 34; My childhood name by my parents was a "Liar". Even today my dad has a notion that i am a liar. Your daughter is your mirror. You would surely posses some of her qualities and when you are tested with same qualities by your daughter you feel hurt. Either you or your husband will have a good imagination! will you call yourself or your husband as a liar? Buying things without your knowledge: Children need privacy. At times they feel to act like elders; you came to know. Just tell her in causal conversation that let you know anything if she buys even after she buys. And don't scold her. She might buy things for another year or so without your knowledge; Once she gets matured, she will realize and stop getting things without your knowledge. The reason is that i did the things in same way. i used to take money and buy things wihtout my parents knowledge when i was 5th std. you know what all will i buy. such a petty things like thenmittai, kadalai burfi, thengai burfi, ( no ice cream parlour those days). These kind of habits will stop as days pass by. Just let her know taking money wihtout your knowledge is not acceptable and if she informs even daily, leave her. let her buy. It will eventually stop. when you resist she will find new ways to do the same thing. ** I was in the same situation in my childhood. When i take money my parents will shout ; i know my parents weakness; i know my father wont count the amount he has in his pocket so i will take from him. When my mom gets my fathers salary for house hold purpose, i will take money from that bulk amount, because i konw my father wont count and will just keep in drawer and will inform mom. in that mean time if i take, my mom will count and will think that my dad has given only this much and i was successful. But once i was mature i was ok and i voultarily shed off that practice. *********************** Don't pass your judgement that she is irresponsible infront of her. let her not hear those words from you. If she looses somethings, just tell her to be carefull. Are we too much responsible that we dont spend any extra penny in everything we buy. out desire dont we buy some dress? out of desire dont we buy some thing makeup kit? Tell her to be responsible and get things she needed. if you call her irresponsible , then she will surely take money and use to buy things she lost. what are you going to loose if you pay 50 rs for the book that she has not returned. just pay. i know you are concerned about the lethargic behaviour of her. but if you push her to not to be lethargic, you think she will change? Have you suceeded in her eye exercise? Always children win because they are more intelligent. One point you have to understand is that this is her way and she will change once she is bit older or out of her experience. Let her be lethargy. let her shelf be in the way she left. one day other the other either guests or her firneds will visit and fearing her respect she will make the shelf clearer. The exact point i am trying to make you understand is that you cannot change her by pushing. let her change on her own. Call her friends often to home. let them sit and chat in her room. she will by herself change because she has to maintain her respect of cleanliness amost friends. Badmitton, out of some impulse she could have joined. if she does not want to continue, just for the sake of joining why she has to continue? Talk to her , associate to a class which she really interested in. Most important, morning you along with her do some yoga and meditaiton. only if you are calm you can handle her. I feel you have to be calm inside. When children are taught to meditate, they can handle their emotions easily. She is now to enter into a another world where she will have more hormones working on her body. With current situation she will hide more and you get angry more. so meditate. calm yourself!! Last: Love your daughter for what she is. Don't put your expectation on her!! You have got a precious stone. if we cannot carve to a diamond, atleast we can leave as it is. Time will crave out! Happy parenting.