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Letting It Go....

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by beautifullife30, Mar 28, 2022.

  1. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

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    Did you guys know how hard it is to let things go, just getting up - dusing your hands off to never look back on the thing that you just decided to leave behind? I didn't. I am now consciously working towards pacifying myself on letting things go and to stop it from affecting my personal life.

    Oh boy! i could have done with a smaller mountain to climb. Just yesterday i had a very stressful day - which included travelling to two different far off places in the hot sun, then only to reach there and realise that people there have been playing around with my family and giving us a run around for own things. Undermining my authority on things just because sometime in the past, i undermined them (in their version). Putting me down in front of my husband and my sister in a sly manner (not that my DH and sis care about their comments). Expecting me to bow down and apologise (which i didnt do) and finally they feeling happy when they get the oppurtunity to remind me that "when the guy of the family is talking, do not interrupt".

    I so much want to pen down the issue that we have been facing for the past three months but i honestly don't know where to start and how to end.

    But i feel very angry when i think of the nonsense that they spoke to me. It would have taken less than a second to talk back to them yesterday. My husband could have spoken back but he didn't, my sister have replied back, but she didn't, i could have given back but i didn't only beacause of the situation we are in right now. It would hardly take a minute for me to ring up these so called "relatives" even now and give them a few choice words and be done. But that one thing will break all the things that my husband has been working for tirelessly all these days. It will put us a million steps behind the plan that we are currently following. BUT it will pacify my hurt self-respect and restore my dignity and yeah...boost my ego a little.

    My husband would not have a single problem if i did that. But honestly after going through all that we went through, i don't want to be an extra burden on him by messing things up for him. So i am trying my level best to let things go.

    My mantra since morning has been...."its ok!", "Its not the end of the world", "Its fine to let people think what they think since its not the truth", " i have no control over external factors", "dont take things to heart", let it go...let it go....let it go....

    Its hard. its tough and it hurts me like hell to let it go. But i am trying. Honestly this post is 1 of the ways of me trying to cope with this.

    I would gladly welcome other ways of dealing with letting things go!
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2022
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    Don't you worry. Listen to this lyrics that has soothing effect on hurt mind.
     
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  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    @beautifullife30 dear

    I don't know what you are going through right now. But I can understand the pain through your post; hence responding here.

    Do not dwell in this moment. It is past. Just pass it.
    Your life is not about those extended relatives and their drama. It was just a moment, and it's gone already.
    Your life is more than them. It is all about yourself, your family, your success and your failures. That's all. Therefore, no point in prioritizing those issues in your precious time.

    Consider them as stray dogs. Their existence is real. They are scary. They are insecure about you. They don't trust you. That's why they bark at you.
    They can chase you. They can scare you for sometimes. And even embarrass you before others on the street.
    But you move on, walk pass the dogs to reach where you want to go. That's all.
    You will leave those dogs and the moments behind to live your normal life.

    No one will cry over or waste their precious time by re-living those horrible moments with the stray dogs.
    No sane person will go back & fight with the stray dog to revenge. There is nothing to boost your ego or self esteem by revenging a stray dog.
    It is better to let go of the things that do not matter in your life.

    It applies to extended family, neighbors, community, politicians etc..etc....
     
  4. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    @beautifullife30

    Ignore it sis they are not gonna come and live our lives. They can only run their mouth to let go of their own stress. So short sighted persons..

    As you said if you have decided to let it go then let it be ... But from next time never give them space to make even a small comment on you, your dh and your kids. Better move away from there or shut it off indirectly. I know still many thinks that voicing out our opinions are on wanted basis changed as "raising voice/disrespecting others/justification"

    It's waste to talk to those hawks . Better to be with humans than hawks.

    Relax and try to focus on something else
     
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  5. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,

    You referenced hot sun in your post which makes me think you must be in India where summer has already started. Perhaps the discomfort of travel to 2 different places is adding to your angst over the ungracious reception.

    You asked for ways to let it go and stop thinking about it. I suggest you first physically and mentally recover from this hot and tiring excursion. Personally when I travel in hot Indian summer for longer than normal distances, I get a headache and end up tired, dehydrated and out of sorts the next day. So simplest and first things to attend to is eat well maybe lot of curd rice, and hydrate, and physically take rest.
    Second thing is give it time. I know everyone says this but I've noticed that after an hurtful incident, maybe an argument or a fight, the immediacy of the hurt and anger stays with me for about two and a quarter days and then slowly diminishes. I either snap out of it, or some other aspect, previously unconsidered, occurs to me. There is some rationale for this, which I forget now, some association between the mental frame of mind and the moon. But I've noticed that this happens with me. Even for some big decision or action where I'm absolutely convinced I'm correct, I hold off for a couple of days and do a self check to see if I still feel the same way. And usually I don't. Either I accept what happened more philosophically or my thinking evolves or both. Two and a quarter days is not that long. Try and see if it works for you. Tell yourself you will revisit this issue after three days. In the meantime, stop thinking about it.
     
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  6. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

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    Thank you @Thyagarajan

    Music always makes me feel better
     
  7. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

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    Hi @SGBV

    Thank you for those soothing words. They helped me a lot. I am sorry i couldnt reply earlier. I was not in a state to reply. But i kept reading your posts. Specially these...

    Your words reminded me to be strong and kept me going. I still have a long way to go before i can say i am over this situation. But I have made a start!
     
  8. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

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    Thanks @Caide darling...

    I felt so hopeless when they kept talking nonsense. I couldnt retort nor could i accept because i know that is not the truth.
    I usually give back but this time my hands were tied. IF i shoot my mouth off things would just go more bad.

    Anyway, i trying to look past it. Thanks ra for your soothing words!
     
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  9. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    You can come out it they just don't deserve even to be in your mind
    You can do it :thumbsup:
     
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  10. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

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    @1Sandhya

    You hit the nail. The scorching heat, the stupid talks everything just made things worse for me.

    I was physically and mentally exhausted that i took it out on my husband. He understood how vulnerable i felt and comforted me but nothing helped me.

    As you mentioned, time helps hurt go away. I will never forget their words but the words don't hurt me so much any more. I hope that someday i will be able to forget this entire debacle and move on even when i see them. I am hoping for that day to come soon.
     
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