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Lets Talk Bout Residue Feelings.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mahathibhaskar, Apr 5, 2022.

  1. preeti6years

    preeti6years Silver IL'ite

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    This topic is so relevant as I am going through the same feeling now. I am just unable to control my emotions recollecting the fact that how I was thrown as a prey to MILs ego and arrogance by my DH and how he joined them thinking they are always right and I am always wrong. I am ashamed to say that I was a victim of all this nonsense for almost 5-6 years until my dd was born.
    Now that BIL got married and seeing MIL biased towards cosis and being so soft and respectable towards her, my heart tears apart for all the harassment and torture I have gone through.
    To shut me up DH agrees that things were not right with me. But at the same time says that they were also not at fault. Such double standards.
    Even today he doesnt stand up for the silent harassments which MIL does to me how much ever I ignore them.
    He says I should forget the past and move on. But they can remember everything and can blame that I was at wrong at all instances.
    Classic example of Doglapan
     
  2. AditiShining

    AditiShining Bronze IL'ite

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    What do your in laws think is wrong with you?
     
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  3. preeti6years

    preeti6years Silver IL'ite

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    Standing up for myself and shouting back at them saying "Enough is Enough"
     
  4. AditiShining

    AditiShining Bronze IL'ite

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    Oh. I don't talk back at my MIL though. It was made clear from the beginning that I'm not expected to do that. My MIL doesn't taunt or anything, she is just cold towards me
     
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  5. preeti6years

    preeti6years Silver IL'ite

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    Well it all depends on how long and how much you would want to take any kind of unacceptable behaviour from your ILs.
    I entered my ILs home thinking that everything will be hunky dory even though I knew its impossible practically. I was dragged to the point where I could not take it anymore. It started off with stern and calm dialogues, low voice arguments and then on one fine day a big volcano erruption. Nobody would want to drag it this extent. Its just that we are brought to that unbearable stage. JMO
     
  6. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    I feel she is just trying to show her superiority .it's not about pain.
    You have to STOP doing it.
     
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  7. Swetha52003

    Swetha52003 Silver IL'ite

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    Preeti , don’t stop standing up for yourself. I remember some of your earlier posts. More power to you girl !! Hope your mil gets to permanently live with your BIL and his wife soon if she loves them so much :hearteyecat:
     
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  8. mahathibhaskar

    mahathibhaskar Senior IL'ite

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    Every word you have written is true...Self care and happiness with no dependencies is must. we have colleges, schools and what not for education which most of it might or might not be useful for living in latter years. But there should be some or the other way to teach young girls or young people for that matter how to manage relationships. Atleast they should be given insights of what needed to be expected and where to stand up and where to put your foot down. Yeah Commonsense is something, one should have it on their own but still...youngsters should be taught how to address certain things in life clearly with self respect and self control.
     
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  9. mahathibhaskar

    mahathibhaskar Senior IL'ite

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    This is quiet shocking....how somebody can stoop so low...That too with thier son....that to an unborn child...just the mire thought run chills down my spine. There are people purely evil in this world. nothing and nobody stands before them except their evil intentions.
     
  10. mahathibhaskar

    mahathibhaskar Senior IL'ite

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    .
    sometimes i don't understand why .....why do they do it....its like pure joy for them in sabotaging someones life and feelings. My MIL is devil in a disguise for me or otherwise she is the best (You can apply all the superlative degrees for almost all the verbs here for her) for everybody other than me. dito with my Sil's. What would be their problem with somebody who got married to their sons.
     

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