Let's talk about sex? How to talk about it to your child?

Re: Talking to kids about sex!...when and how?

Shanti,

Thanks for the link. I will discuss this with my pediatrician.

I am a little sceptical about this website and its claims because it is run by an anonymous group of individuals whose credentials are unknown or hidden.

Moreover, everything should be in moderation. "Alavai minjinal amruthamum vishamay". Currently, DD's only consumption of soy comes in from the three glasses of soy milk that she has every day. I not do use additional soy products - such as soy cheese, soy beans etc - in my home, so my DD may not be over-consuming soy proteins. However, I will still run this by my pediatrician and / or do additional research on my own to make sure that this is, in fact, the case, and not merely faulty assumption on my part.

BTW, I am sure that a lot of people are not aware that soy foods can also be processed, and, as with anything else, processing comes with its own dangers. So, anyone using soy products would be better served by purchasing organic (unprocessed) soy products, even though it is very expensive.

 

Re: Talking to kids about sex!...when and how?

Definitely talking to your ped is the best thing.

Oh malaytha, i just gave you the first one of the links, though i do take all that is given with a bit of salt. when it comes to my health or my kids i leave the onus with my doctors and not with any info. i feel that is the best way.

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definitely true.
my son had too many health problems when he was a baby, and we did give him soy milk for almost 2 years, it was just a feeding formula.

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even if you are using soyflour with atta it is to be in 1:10 and not more. and you need to wash the tofu and nuggets many times before using. and tofu needs to be fresh. nuggets need to pre cooked after soaking in water.

Do come back with what your ped says. as for me soy products have been ruled out for both the kids unless prescribed.

 

sex education for kids!

At what age should sex education be taught to kids. how do they come to knw at young stage itself.

Kids (from 10-12yrs) dont understand what they are doing or saying. its either full freedom they have got or no one to explain things.

kids who are 11yrs old use terrible words in facebook. it happened with my son. his friend has commented on somthing using words like f***,assh*** etc. how do we explain them the meaning of such words. when asked, my son says its normally used in school, buses by big boys. i dont knw if he really knws the meaning or acts to be innocent. how can their parents not check what their kids are doing. moreover one boy was saying "ur mom is ***" and the other boy was asking what u mean by ***. then he replies back "bad things". I was totally shocked with their comments that too on facebook. how can anyone at this young age say something to a mother. i normally check my sons facebook, mails and keep a track on whats happening in his circle of friends. but for how long?? hes growing up and needs privacy but it should be in safe side.

if anyone has solution please share here so that we also can know how to bring up kids in this issue.

 

Re: sex education for kids!

Just a thought here - facebook is legal only for those over the age of 18. I know a lot of children do have accounts, even among my nieces and nephews, but I think there should be parental supervision. Good you are doing that. You could start doing what other parents seem to have not done. I think this friend of your son is getting cyber bullied, that is never okay... even if it is commonly done.
This is a site Tulir runs for children watchoutkid.com, they have some great links there about being safe on the internet. Put the internet in a place where there is family and parental control. If you MUST let your child have an FB account, you get one yourself and be-friend him on it. I know a lot of children start behaving when parents are around... Good luck handling this one.

 

Re: sex education for kids!

Thanks Tikka for you reply. Actually i had opened FB account on the condition that i would be checking what he is doing. yes the comp is in the hall where anyone can see what is going on.

Hope every parent should keep an eye on their kids even though they are grown up. atleast till they are 18yrs to guide them in a right way.

 

Re: sex education for kids!

ramya,

I second tikka, in your keeping watch on your kid at fb.

for the very reason, i have no accounts on any of these social networking sites. one of my nephews comes over the weekend as he studies in a college nearby and is hosteler. he uses orkut and FB,both my kids know that he uses it. i took my nephew into confidence, and told him to tell them that using of orkut and fb maybe fashionable but it is illegal, and your mom and dad would not like you to do it until you are 18 and can understand the consequences.

apart from this, I leave the computer in the hall, where everybody else knows what is going on in the pc, though the temptation of privacy is always there, i think that is a small thing to forego for the safety.

I recently happen to read a article, and also one of the blogs of a student of a very reputed school of chennai, and OMG, I was scared thinking what is happening. recently one of my friends showed me a sms from a classmate of her son, and it was worser than healthy dose of ****. the boy was being bullied for not knowing anything about these things and the boy left the mobile carelessly or we would not have known it. the boy in question is 18.

Sexting is a epidemic that is taking over kids even at school levels. i would say go through tulir's website and the links too, they have some amazing links that are self explanatory if you are feeling uneasy.

These days, you cannot even complain to the parent of the boy who is using such language, as the parent will not believe it. these parents believe their kids are perfect with the capital P.

I would say either ask your son to stop being there in FB. i don't think at 11 your boy needs to be there. tell him it is illegal. if he is going to argue that all his classmates are doing it, be FIRM and tell him, that you cannot be policing other kids, and you are more concerned about only him.

My daughter is 14+ and son is 12 both have mail ids, and they know that i will not interfere as long as they are within my asserted limits of general mails, discussing projects or funny mails. nothing more. they respect the freedom that they have.

 

Re: sex education for kids!

Hi Ramya,

I would say thats your mistake what you have done to your kid like opening a facebook account, why do that kid need a facebook account at this age?? is there anything that much imporatant other than studies and playing at this age!!! i dont think so, sorry if i am being harsh. And also if you son replicates those kind of words which he gets from seniors, then you should have straight away gone to the school and put that to the school teacher's notice and make them understand the education importance to the teachers.

And coming to sex education, i dont know how to directly comment on it, but its not necessary at this age, if that age comes and if he finds his harmonal changes automatically you can see from his/her behaviours. so dont worry abt it.

My advice/sugg for you is, stop your son accessing those social networking site and instead tell some good things and ask him to search in the internet like for eg( god, slogam, sai baba) and all.

Regards
Devanathan.L

 

Re: sex education for kids!

Hi Shanvy, Deva,
thanks for the reply!!

I totally agree with u Shanvy. but if i restrict from that he will feel to do more at this stage. now after all these, he understands what we say is true. atleast coz of this FB,i knew in the starting stage itself. now hes BACK TO TRACK!

Deva, you are not at all harsh infact what you say is right. but when we say NO to kids at this stage they do things behind our back. i have given permision to him saying that it will be under my control. thankfully because of this i could know what was going otherwise I wouldnt even know that he knew all these words.

Yes Deva, frankly speaking, he does prayers. he recites Hanuman Chalisa and believes in God. particularly he recites Gayatri Mantra. but doing all these doesnt stop him to know the reality in life. I agree he should knw everything but under a guidance. im not blaming my child but just wanted to share this that parents are leaving their kids without checking what they doing. after seeing this i sat with him and explained as far as i could :bonk. now he understands and started sharing what others say and asks us if thats right.

 

Re: sex education for kids!

Hi Ramya,

your reply is good, and your are making your kid growing in a right path, and thats fantastic at this stage, and also try to explain things in the world and also whenever he is very close to you or something, just tell some moral stories on good habits and other stuffs and make him understand that he should not have those words in his mind and also if he hears any words also he should easily tend to forget bad things and try to aggrevate the good habits. even my kid is only 2.5 years old but now itself everyday i use to spend some time with him in the night by telling stories on god and god tenali raman stories and good moral stories. pls do that it will not only help your kid, it will also develop a postive attitude for ourselves.

Reg's
Deva

 

Re: Talking to kids about sex!...when and how?

Ramya,

I have merged your thread on sex education for kids with an existing one on similar lines.

Latha