Lets share our feelings - Season 5

Aishu and Ramya, oh I understand how it feels.. poor you both.. with the given situation, such moments are bound to happen.. this too shall pass... you are doing great as mommies. loads of Hugs and good sleep vibes to your LOs.

Aishu, hey I didnt know you were with the same company.. not sure if you know. I work there too.

Ramya, this joint family that you are in.. oh I remember I have consoled you at times.. but you know what I think I will need some consolation now.. read my update below..

Uma, 'fans hanging on clouds'?? your DD is sooo sweet. dont ever get angry with that darling! ahhh your DH is super duper affectionate.. what a gesture.. go and hug him so tight that he will want to do this often (take time off work just for you).

CC, not only you.. Latha often forgets me too (( JK! Latha is forgiven because of that tiny hole up there )) so what activities are you taking A to??

V, you are such a lovely doc to be so sensitive to all the cases that come to your attention.. I wish there were more docs like you who could 'feel' it you know.. dont miss that house that you like so much.. you must have got all the positive vibes abt it already otherwise you wont feel soo strongly attached to it.. go ahead with all the courage needed. it will dfntly work out for you.

Latha, I too think you should go ahead with sending lil A out of home for few hours.. apart from learning, she will feel so happy to be around children her age and do all her lil pranks (I still remember how she painted her hands green and it was all over her) with them and also be a victim of her friends pranks.. let her see the world outside home.. trust me she will be glad to be back home and to her dearest mommy. I feel you should have atleast 3-4 hours all for yourself to do what you really have been wanting to do without feeling guilty abt priorities. just go for it especially when your DH is initiating the idea.

Radhee, great that it was a breeze weaning off DS.. you should treat him with an outing you know for being such a co-operative child.


updates -

you all know I live with in-laws.. big turning point in my life.. BIL, co-sis and their 2 children came visiting us for 2 months.. they were supposed to leave in 2 weeks.. suddenly they went around looking for schools for their kids.. today they have got admission, paid fees.. the news is that they are going to live with us.. I dont even want to hear myself saying this BIL will be going back as planned.. I do not mind living with one more family.. but it is just that there have been bitter episodes at home in the past where everyone at home (incl. DH) were hurt with words by co-sis (she is bluntly true and cares too less about emotions/ courtesy/ manners) and I am sure for first few days all will be fine but then there will slowly be drama, expectations, differences, etc etc.. oh I am not sure of living with this combination! especially I need to work doubly on my DH.. he gets easily worked up because of my co-sis.. now all the more reason for me and DH to start working on our plan of moving out to our own house (oh first we need to build it). I dont know how much I can say in this forum.. but if there is any venting that I need to do - I will in our ggroup.. pls help me then. need some hugs to digest this news!

 

ahh Nitha, you too sleep deprived?! P never slept well until he was close to 2 yrs and 3 months.. till then I used to wake up atleast 5 times in the night, sit holding him/ sing to him/ pat him back to sleep.. now it is lot better.

 

Thanks a lot AD. I need those vibes badly. Manu finally slept at 5pm and still dozzzzzzing... what a relief! huh!

Ohhh.. is it?? I never knew that. Good to know.. but sadly i will be a SAHM from next month. Have decided to resign my job. I think we all 3 must meet atleast once before i resign!

 

hey Latha.. I dont think you should be worrying abt what DH will say abt the mess after living together for so many years... I know these men will not leave a chance to point out but we women should ignore it sometimes you know.. I think in so many years of being married, he would know how much you can stretch and how well you can keep the house.. he may not admit / acknowledge it.. so dont worry abt what he will say.. do all that you want but only so much that you CAN.. my man too brings up 'pls clean up the wardrobe, give away clothes that you dont use, blah blah..' at times I knod my head if I want to listen but put a safety shield in my heart so it doesnt hear any hurtful words even if DH blows it up.. also manytimes, I just say 'oh pls ignore it, there are lot other things we can worry abt', 'I am like this, you have to live with it. period.' now the latest my DH asked for is 'clean up your wardrobe and give away all clothes that you dont use, make some space there, the very next day I will register myself in the gym to reduce my paunch.' such a super deal that I am game for it. I will do anything for that 8 mth pregnant-like tummy (my DHs) to be shed off. if it was anything else in return, I would have simply ignored.

 

AD - ((hugs)) to you and yes, please vent in ggroups if you need to. I can imagine - I would never want to live with my co-sis either.

Thanks for the very nice words and encouragement everyone - much appreciated For the cleft lip all credit to the plastic surgeon - he did a wonderful job; I was only like a support person for the family.

Uma - you have a wonderful DH! Lucky you.

Ramya and Aishu - please dont be so hard on yourselves. Like Latha said I have shouted at my DS when he was 1 month old and I just couldnt get up for another feed; so you guys arent doing badly at all!

Nitha - why do you need a Kerala caterer? meant to ask before.

Latha - I dont know if I'm reading you right but I think you probably need to be your own person and stop seeking approval from the DH. When you are confident in yourself and your abilities then you really wont get hurt for every comment (small/big) he makes. And then you dont need to be jittery around your DH at all.JMO

V.

 

Gals,

As everybody is asking Iam writing a model day.

Story time: Twice a week. 45 minutes a day. its free
I ve registered A for library story time in 2 libraries . The theme in our town is jungle safari. So they are hosting story times discussions for different age group of kids. They ve seperate programs for kids in ages 3 to 5 and diffrent ones for 6 to 8 and different activity and learning based stuff and evaluation for 9 to 12 year olds. So all the public libraries here are decorated like jungles with paper plants and vines hanging everwhere and jumping monkey paper foldings and stuff.(They teach origami and even scarpbooking in jungle theme for 9 to 12 yaer olds and also screen safari pictures and documentaries and lend out related books which they can read and come back with questions. They ve one session every week.)
(for the 6 to 8 year olds they ve themed activities like some story time and fact time and some craft with scrapbooking and making animal pictures by cutting and sticking them together and painting activities and also lend simple fact books on animals that those kids love. They also ve one session every week all through summer).
The younger kids ve story time and puppet show with common jungle stories like lion and mice, the monkey and hat makers and the like. But they theme it well and also show picture slides of diffrent animals and lil info like what they eat and whre they live and at the end they ve a small craft to do project that also relates to some animals or safari. we made binoculars with kitchen tissue roll( cardboard tube in teh inside )and pasted the babys favourite colour paper on the ends and also made colourful macaw by tracing bays feet and hands. parents ll ahve to help with cutting and tracing. teh glueinga nd colouring the kids ll do. I have this programs twice a week as she goes to two libraries.

Daily raeding challenge by library.

I told u about this b4. Its a reading program where u get a booklet when u register with poters and few stickers which also varies according to age groups. The aim is to make ur kids read 15 minutes day (for 3 to 5 yaer olds). it can be assisted reading but she should spend 15 minutes with books. And she can colour a picture of amonkey on a chart. The chart has 30 monkeys and she gets differnt prizes at diffrent stages and when she finishes it she gets entered to a ballot and win a ticket to local baseball game. Our local team is some wht famous inside teh country. they are in top 5.

Everyday swim lessons for 45 minutes comes free with family memebership to gym The YMCA.

She has classes everyday for 45 minutes in the evening at around 4. the wetaher s good and she loves being in water.

Community centre activity field trips twice a month

To fire station, farm, park, duck ponds, childrens museum, fruit and veggie picking. u pay reduced fare for thee ntry tickets and also get ride in reduced rates in hired buses.

Bike riding for young children(GEt out and play) free again

Its a community thing to. u register and get safety booklet on riding bike safely and reflectors for kids bikes and parents too if u ve one. its there evryother day for an hour after supper so around 6 30. parents with bicycle pedal around kids and kids pedal in the centre . Its not on main road but special bikers greenway. its the side area on both sides of a highway . they ve developed it with road for biking and walking with rest stops and toliets on the way. and garden spots. the moms without bikes walk bhind teh kids. we all get together do some stretchingfirst then kids bike and we walk at that pace along with them. we come at intersectiosn to main roads and parents form line and help children bike safely across and traffic waits. The whole trail is very long rinning almost all around the city. but we do the 2 km stretch in our area and walk back home.

Little gardener community activity.

each kid given a area to plant and design his garden. the cutting pruning and all done by parents. They use organic compost whch they prepare throughout winter in indoor boxes.(u can register and get that for subsidised amount and do i inside ur home and i swear it doesnt stink at all. Iam not doing it this year due to space constraints in this aprtment) an d children choose seeds and can name the gardena nd water them and when they fruit they can take them home. they charge very small rate for registration like 10 dollars. we meet twice a week and water teh plants and deweed them. anj has tomatoes in her garden with sunflowers . the seeds are provided and so is compost. and the area which is dumpsite for anow in winter is cleared in spring and leveled and they mis soila nd all and keep it ready for kids.

We also visit temple twice a week in summer and iam taeching her slokas and lil bhajans.

Along with this she is learning to clour within teh lines and paint and write alphabets lowercase and recognise tamil alphabets. she is going to be 4 and she still doesnt know them .I ve never been so busy.
Iam enjoying it too.

Latha,
u r Forgiven because of brain hole.
I also feel like taht sometimes taht I get disappointed because i expect appreciation on everything I do and when i dont get them i set higher unreachable goals which doesnt get done and trips my guilt at not completing and also my irritation at not finishing which reflects in lot of stufff inside the home.

Gals,
can I join ggroups too? I want to as i want to be apart of this group on more personal loevel too. I ve been asking this so many times but havent got favourable response. I dfunno if it s intentional ignoring or jus plain missing. i also tried finding u guys there by all the fancy names i cud thnk of that a group like ours will ve. But I wasnt succesfull. I would liek to know if its a clear no. No hurt feelings after tht too cos i understand concerns about privacy

Uma,
Dh cooking up such a feast when u r down and sick is a blessing. enjoy.

Ramya,
dont go on guilt trip cos it nevr ends. U r a good mom and doing the best u can.

Ad,
Hugs hugs and more hugs. I can imagine the fear of having to live with inlaws in the same house. I sometimes consider lucky taht am here cos if and when i return to india we are gonna live like that only with bils and sil too. We were living like that only all those days in India and thts y i felt this trip as a big escape.

V,
Cleft lip corrcted ll sure make teh babys life brighter. cant imagine the low self esteem the kids ll have esp with such disabilities. Glad nowadays such surgeries are available everywhre and affordable too.

Nitha,
I would say another yaer r two u ll have to be a zombie and sleep deprived mom. Only when they learn to sleep on their own bed at 3 or 4 u can have some undisturbed sleep.

Gals,
Am off to cook dinner. Hi to everyone i missed.

Regards,
CC

 

AD - Agreed that your house rightly belongs to co-sis also, but weren't youo guys consulted regarding her move? To cut things short, having a lot of work to do is better thatn having a lot of people to work on. Can you guys not move out to a rented place until your house is built?

Latha - I used to initially worry about what DH would say about the mess around given that his family is supposedly 'cleaner' than me. But these days, if you think its a mess, then clean up or help clean up. I agree with AD here. First, ignore. Second, he isn't the boss and you don't need an appraisal session with him and its not your job to clean up always. Third, he is your husband and he has the right to say what he feels and you have the right to ignore !!

DH is back, there are so many things I want to talk and sort, but neither of us have the energy. I told that I will work from home today, but then came to office. DD did not sleep last night and to top it, did not take breakfast. It is really paining to see DD starve while I cannot stay back and feed her.