Lets share our feelings - Season 5

Krithika yay and thanks for those good good vibes, it has reached. Just now had a call from office there's no req at the moment. Maybe i have to wait......I truly feel very happy from the deep of my heart, i had to join this 19th and if they had offered imm, i wouldn't have the guts to say no as the deci is tough. The time with my Lo is so precious and i'm enjoying each moment....taking care all alone. Even when i'm drained i tell myself that this will never come back....Anyway i'm extremely happy......
Latha that poem was sweet. I often felt guilty to have spanked LO or yell at her. In fact now things r better. I felt away from her and kind of yelling or spanking at her always and she was turning into a lil demon. There were days when i thought why i wanted another kid. One day after sev spanks and yelling i just hugged her n cried my heart out. Then i realised i had very lil time with her and that's the gap. Now i feel comfy managing both, atleast i feel i'm doing justice to both.
Ramya 1 cottage will be booked exclusively for IL friends:thumbsup. Not sure how our plans will work, hoping for the best.
Poonam ur Lo seems a cutie. Can imagine how you feel. I had gone through the same when DD1 was born.
MIL is an egoistic, dominating character who wants her DS by her always 24/7 and she created hell life for me........
Well I think i have to pour it all out....I hate coming back home from office when i was preg with DD1. She never allowed me in the kitchen, yes her son should only eat what she cooks and for him she shld be the best. She loves roaming around and only with her son. She always wants DH to chat with her till 12 or 1 in the midnight when she was here n when we visit India.
DH took his own time in understanding his mom and then he realized she's a complicated person. Our relationship got better when Lo was 6 mo+ but i had gone through terrible situations and even now i can't forgive her for all what she has done....
Sorry for the loooooooong rant and thanks all for hearing out.....
Bye for now....going for a short nap with DD1 as 2 is already sleeping....

 

Sri, Sindhu, Amitha, Tikka, others who have backseat driving DH's - HUGS girls.. oh even this little thing can get so annoying.... my DH too will be like 'put on the indicator..' 'hey dont go so close'' 'watch that side', 'no hurry, go slow', etc etc etc.. I should be using all this while he is driving.. these days I get nervous sitting next to him while he is driving.. on top of it, he gets annoyed if I instruct him even once. his family trusts my driving more than his I have been driving 4 wheelers for past 10 yrs in this city, he has been driving it for 3 yrs (before that 2 wheelers only), still he will give me hell of instructions.. It will never stop.. my dad on the other hand is wonderful with directions.. when someone else like me or DH is driving, he will drive us nuts.. just when we cross half way thru a signal, he will say 'oh we have to take this right..' and we will be like 'aarrrrgggghhhh'.. another backseat driver in my family is my MIL.. she is super nervous when DH drives and if there is a vehicle 10 meters diagonal to our car when DH is reversing, she will panic 'parthu parthu, vandu nikudhu..' and DH will be like 'ENGA?????' she will point to the one 10 meters away, NOT in our way.. DH will be like WTH?

Sri, yes keeping quite is soooo difficult.. I wish I talk back then and there like I used to before but after having practised 'being calm during the storm, react later' startegy (IL tip) a few times, and that I have seen the benefits of it, I do not feel like going back at all.. it sure makes a lot of difference! after being calm last morning, my DH did not bring it back and was thankful to me for having kept quite at that time. Good luck with the pending work and relieving girl. Dont worry, think abt all the good times you are going to spend with DD. do you have some pics on your album?

Pooh, Zoey is soooo cute.. yet another mom her who can describe her LO's actions so well in words.. I am just not capable of that .. btw, Z practising sitting up all night is so cute to her.. like Latha said, yes it is diff on you mommy.. but I love what she is doing.. see how dedicated she is in mastering what she has discovered! btw, I had my family pics until yesterday.. I pulled them off thinking it is long since it was put up.. I will put back a few for you. btw, Z has started talking sooooo fast.. though just 2 words.. pretty early haan??! soon she will be a parrot repeating all that you say

Anitha, I envy you ssssoooooo much! you lost so much weight?? ok, before my vacation last week, I managed to loose weight and had just a tiny bulge - lower tummy.. but now I have enough of it.. am looking like a 16 wk preggy.. hmmm after effects of hogging fat rich food today onwards I am on special K for 2 meals a day.. for next 2 weeks..thats my tested formula to loose 2kgs in 2 wks.. my SIL's house warming ceremony in 2 weeks so I was look better in saree and not with a flabby tummy. taking you as an inspiration now!

Latha, even before I peep into this thread, I start thinking - ph hope Latha's day was fine.. let me see if she got some sleep.. I am so well informed of your day that I have started to worry abt your kids too ) good that you managed to get some sleep finally... lil A must have been so releived to have managed to get good sleep after liek 3 wks! I felt the same that your DH asked you.. with one child I am not able to manage everything because I work outside and also if I go home late I feel angry if he is uncontrollable at the same time feel guilty for not able to spend more time.. I am clearly labelling myself as 'cannot have a second child due to incapability in managing kid and self-emotions when I am pressed for time'.. boohoo I am a human and not a perfect one to be able to handle everything picture pefect.

Sindhu, how r LOs doing? whats new with V?

SS, good luck with the fruit diet today..

Hi to all others..

 

Pooh - Zoey is so sweeet ...... want to meet her.
Adwi is the same ...she hasn't learnt to sit up in sleep, but she starts crawling IN SLEEP .... I am so scared that she will fall off the cot. :bowdownAnd pillows are of no use ... she climbs over them and down. She has learnt to say AAAIY (for Hi) when someone enters our home, she says ammmmmmma only whne she cries ) and says pppppppppaaa, athatha ... She can do shake hands, Hi-fi and bye ONLY when she in mood!!:rotfl

Anitha - I thought you lived in a joint family. No one to help you with the house-hold chores when maid is on leave?

SS - DO let me know abouot the fruit diet ...not that I am going to practice it, but some inspiration may help.

Latha - tell me more about this Yogi tea ... sounds interesting.

Anitha/Pooh - w.r.t weight, I lost my entire pregnancy weight gain 1 week after delivery. And when I went out after delivery, I wore my old dresses and i still wear my old jean. It is probably that there are some 'spots' that need shedding, but overall Im ok I guess )

Aishu - Give her ateether ... mine loves to bite anything, even my fingers, night dress.:thumbsup

Aarthi - You are tempting me with an FP. And with walking. How do you allocate time for it. I am so worried to leave LO even for 20 min. I am sure, a 15 - 20 min walk in the morning will do a lot of good but ((

Poorni - Way to go on the cooking part !! I tried Chitvish's 'neer dosai' and all at home liked it.

Uma - Hearing about your MIL, you must be glad that you are away from India. Of the lot, I think my MIL is really good. Just that I cannot bear the number of people (opinions, confusions etc.) at home. She wants all of them with her always ( Some wounds will not heal and we cannot get back our 'newly-married days' again, can we?:rant

AD - I am with you. I think it happens to all of us at some point. Yesterday was one such day for you. Glad that you are better. Good thing that u started off by writing. That helps me too. There will be dependencies, like being in a family etc etc, but most of our personal things, we will be able to accomodate. My only problem so far has been that of late I really want us to move out as a nuclear family .. people around me are good, but I cannot be good always ) ...and many things that I want to do is dependent on this more. AND I know that it will NEVER happen.
So, take care and don't lose heart. Today is another day.

All of you must be knowing that Adwi doesn't sleep well at nights ... how is it that only I hear her whimpers, cries, and her moves. DH sleeps in the same room and he is sound asleep. Last night he told me that we will go on shifts to take care of A and I agreed. I woke him at 4:30 to keep patting her until 7am so that I can get 3 hours sleep. But the next move from Adwi, I see that DH is sound asleep .... is it only my DH who does this? He gladly helps with A, but only if he can hear her, right?:idea

 

Uma, Hugs to you.. we all feel the same way sometime or the other.. btw, abt MIL - husg again.. each of us here have similar stories to tell.. now that you are regular here, you will know in a while what I mean. feel free to rant here.. this is one place where you will not be judged! for me, this is the only place like that is your native chennai?

 

hehehhehee same here.. most night DH is disturbed by DS.. but sometimes when I know DH is sleeping like a log (if he lacked enough sleep the prev night or was sitting up late night to watch TV), I wake up often to help DS settle down to sleep.. even at this age atleast 3 days in a week, DS doesnt sleep well.. I hear his whimpers, murmurs and moves and I will wake up wide awake at any time in the night.. but in the morning it gets on my nerves when DH cooly says, 'DS slept so well last night na..'.. I say 'ohhh my dear, YOU were the only one who slept well last night..' and he will be like 'dont joke, you know I didnt sleep properly..' yeh right!

tiny tip from me.. do not wake up and attend to LO on her every move.. just keep an eye on her (without her knowing) to see if you really need to attend to her.. mostly LOs will move now and then but will settle down by themselves seeing you both sleep.. in a few days she will move lesser if you do not give her constant attention. DS did the same and the more I gave him attention the more he moved and distrubed himself and us.. these days too he looks for our attention everytime he moves.. he says 'amma' everytime he moves.. I do not get up for that these days.. I just say 'sleep P' or just say 'hmm' just to acknowledge I am next to him.. or just patt him without saying a word.. and he moves lesser that way. entirely my DH's idea and it works well for us.

 

ramya,

count my dh too..i still wonder how he can sleep so well(with snores):biglaughwith a disturbed DS beside.now the reason dh gives me is that he has to work the next day while i can catch up on my sleep in the afternoon:rant..these days ds is so disturbed with cough/cold/new teeth,and what not that i sleep with him in the other room,while dh enjoys the luxury of undisturbed sleep..but i dont forget to bother him during weekends

do tell me if you want YOGI TEA,if you are keen about trying i can get you a pack during my trip..reg walking,i drop ds at school at 8 45 and then continue with my walk ,come back by half past 9 and carry on with my chores,if i have some shopping to do i finish that as well...all these luxuries coz 1.i am a SAHM,2.its summer here.cant imagine walking for 50 min once winter start.

S-S(i first typed SOS :rotfl)

my FP is my second baby,i carry it with me wherever i go ,once i was asked to open my baggage at the airport,as the stem of the fp looked like some weapon:biglaugh,it weighs around 8 kgs,still i roam around with it.

girls,
i am all game to tempt as many of you here with the fp,if you feel money is not a factor,please go ahead and buy one,,you wont regret it,i promise.

AD,
come on ,cheer up..it happens to me a lot of times,guess its the negative energy that was disturbing you ,,you are as such doing a great job ,try to prioritise things ,decide which can be done first without much help from others,,that way you can boost up your energy and then go ahead with the rest of the list.is your mom's surgery worrying you ,and may be you are feeling low.just a thought,when there are lot of things happening around us,we tend to get dejected as well..hugs to you.

anitha,
now,you are my inspiration,,you lost 21 KGS,,:spin,,ahhh,if i can lose just 3-4 kgs in a month,i will most delighted..but i always feel its the body composition that plays the trick,i have my own brother who is struggling to gain weight ,in spite of hogging high calorie foods...my body is extremely sensitive,(self diagnosis:biglaugh)to weight gain,,i have a cup of ice cream and the next day i feel a bit heavier,
with no help around ,managing the kid plus home,i would be surprised if you weighed more.

poonam,
Zoey is too cute,can understand how tough it would be for you,have you got your maid thing sorted out?i can see from CVs forum that you are in to baking these days,,:cheers


today being my third day of walking(i plan to bore you girls everyday with my walking experience),everything went fine until i was about to be licked by two dogs:rotfl,(the park where i go walking is loaded with pet dogs coming for walks too:hidethough dh assures me that the dogs here dont even sniff anyone,i am damn scared ,after few childhood experiences with dog encounters/attacks..i started walking so fast that anybody would have had a hearty laugh looking at me.:biglaugh.i was turning around every few secs to see if they were chasing me,,,oh,,my god..what a funny scene it was..

 

Hi Dear Ladies,

Thanks for all your suggestions about teethers. and other things i can do to keep her happy.I'm goin to get those tomm when DH is on off.

Yesday i tried reading books,showed her different colors and she was ok for a while,atleast not crying and bored. Then for a while i sang her rhymes, that was liked by her.SO will try out more today.
Problem is she needs constn attention when shes awake,so i can hardly do any chores at home including having dinner...so i'm gonna figure out some to that can keep her busy.

Ok, on the solid food front it was a total flop.I tried giving her thick rice kanji thru spoon and she spit everything out.Tried giving her kanji water thru spoon and all came out.

Today i tried giving kanji water thru bottle(i introduced bottle only today- fearing breast rejection all these days)..and LO didn't know how to latch on and drink from bottle..so not even a drop of kanji went inside.Moreover she made all faces when i fed some.:bonk
Any pointers?? Can i try something else? as per V's suggestion next is apple puree..but before that may be i can try kanji water thru bottle for 2-3 days more...what say?

 

Uma, Your MIL sounds a tough person. Do pour out the rants here, we all offer ears and shoulders...

Sri, I missed wishing your LO. Belated birthday wishes, glad everything went fine. I am from Calicut - are you from Kerala as well?

AD, I think that is normal - when we are single/no kids fewer dependencies and more things are predictable and under control. Try to attack one little thing at a time and conquer the little things first. Celebrate your victories as you go. The bigger ones like job change etc are harder esp if you have other viariables. I also really want to move out of my current position but for a variety of reasons don't want to move out of the company (at least for now). So looking for internal positions and that is taking time. When the right time comes it will happen. Keep trying, don't lose the momentum. Do the things that are in your control like aggressively applying etc.

Aarthi, I am also scared of dogs. But don't they have a leash rule there?

Aishu, I think she will slowly get used to the taste. The first time babies may not like the different taste. My LO hated formula at first and took a while to get used to the weird taste.

Yesterday was a crazy day. I have a weekend project implementation and was putting out fires all day and finally managed to get out right in time to make it to P's musical event at school. I was worried that I might have to miss it. But thankfully. It was a nursery rhyme show. Couldn't see all of it since V started getting excited and screaming so I had to walk him up and down outside. DH and in-laws watched all the show.

You all take care, god bless all LOs and your families

 

Arthi : Sometimes we all go into introspection mode...Do not worry. This is just a phase...will pass soon.
Just wondering...Is it time for ur monthly visitor? Coz that might be the cause of feeling low. I am always like that at that time of the month. Get into tears at almost anything.

Uma : that indeed is a good news. You must be relieved. Happy for ya!
Your MIL does sound mean. Good that you guys are away from her.

Aarthi : That did seem hilarious you turning back every now and then to chek the dogs:biglaughBtw I too am scared of dogs and not very keen on having pets.

Aishu : Just hang in there..She will get used to solids slowly.Some babies are fussy eaters. Mine is so i know what you are saying. It does get better with time though.

Sindhu : Good that u could make it in time. Kids tend to lookout for their parents when on stage. P must have been very happy to see you there.
Yes I am a Keralite,basically from Trichur but born and brought up in Mumbai.

All, Have a nice weekend .

 

yay uma, happy to hear that. Vanathi and I have been reading an author who writes about Indian marriages, Dr Vijay Nagaswami. I will happily second his books for relationships with inlaws. His insights are wonderful. I want to read his second book now.
Thanks V on the update on 50:5o marriages. Did you pre-order the book? I dont see it in the Odyssey near home, let me check other shops tomorrow. I have been dropping heavy hints to the SO, and yesterday I saw him surreptiously read a chapter in the book. Hopefully, he will drop his reluctance and follow some of the really practical advice there.
Sri, good luck on your to be SAHM status. And like P, let me also wish you a happy birthing day and a belated birthday wishes for the LO. A community of moms I was a part of always wished each other that. It does feel very special to be looking back on the one year that passed from the minute you went into labour. Hope toddlerhood brings more fun into both your lives. I have been wanting to look up Pune as a spot I want to move into. If I do, I know someone already there now. :-?
Sindhu, you need to write a book for moms who are trying to manage a home and a career. That's a very practical advice. I need to do some of it now, I cant believe how independent I used to be as a singleton and how dependent I am now.
Aishu: sorry, did not read a lot of posts in the middle. Are you having difficulties introducing solids to your little one? Have you tried plain fingerfeeding? Cereals through bottles is not a good idea in general.
Aarthi/Ramya: I used to be a rather heavy sleeper and then after DS I cannot sleep well at all, I am hyper alert all the time. The minute DS turns and tosses I am up seeing what could bother him. DH can sleep through a puke session and a child who fusses. If he is crying than DH is up, no matter how tired he is. But he can also sleep in two seconds after hitting the bed whereas I have to ensure that DS is peacefully sleeping before I can.
Aarthi, true about FP. Our vegetable tray does not keep the veggies fresh. I think that is the problem, maybe the fridge needs an overhaul. Daybefore we were trying to cut bittergourd and it was a huge failure and then the spinach. Trying to see how I can handle these. I hate chopping veggies and that gives me a lot of hand and back pain. Maybe time for the free demo.
Ditto about dogs. I am alright if dogs do not bar, once they get into that mode I am freaking out.
Ramya, I agree with AD. I have a tosser turner too. There are days I turn away from him, cut of all kinds of stimulation, so that he can go back to sleep. Today, DS did not nap and was too cranky and did not sleep. We told him we are goin gto have dinner, I will come after that, he should sleep by himself. I check back in 5 min, he is sleeping. Have you considered a separate mattress for her? At around 9 months, k became really restless at nights and would sleep only in another mattress on the floor next to ours.
AD, hugs. Some days are like that. Wishing you a quick return to positivity. I see myself getting very negative about who I am around the time of my menses. I can sit and cry a bucket over smallest failures... Hope you get to figure out why you feel so down sometimes.
Poonam, Latha, CC, and all other moms here, have a great weekend. It is close to 11 pm and I feel like I have been hit by a freight train. I had been sulking about missing menses. It has come and how. I am going to the doc on Monday. God bless all mommas and their families.