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Lets hear some happy stories too..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Ria2006, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    Hello Gals,

    I know we normally reach out to each other when someone is facing some issue. But How about sharing the happy stories here too. It s not to disappoint those are having hard time, but probably a moral booster. That there is still good left in this world. And hang in there.. This too shall pass.

    Lemme begin with my parent's story..
    Not much of story per say.. But a very persistent one on that. My mom a very dynamic , spirited and not so educated woman. Her biggest USP, fearless attitude and courage. My dad, complete opposite of mom, very reserved, soft spoken and intellectual.His biggest USP, calm temperament. He only gets angry once in a decade. Together they made world complete for us. But for them , if you ask me even now they have issues. But as someone wisely said, if you are not having issues in marriage, chance is your marriage is getting dull. So I must say their marriage is quite vibrant.

    Their marriage proposal was very interesting one. Daddy was working in army, posted in Kashmir. Mom was a small time gang leader in colony. She would bully all the kids and then they would bully other kids together. Sounds more fun.. First the proposal was taken my Mama (mom's bro) to Dad's side. My mama liked the fact that dad was post graduate and very educated guy. Dad's side was only adamant to marry very pretty girl. But for some reason, alliance halted due to both side 's father's argument. And marriage looked out of question. Both sides were trying other alliances. But for some reason it didn’t go further. Dad finally wrote to mom's father about the alliance again. It seems dad found mom just the way he wanted.. So he gave it individual try. He went to meet family again. And Things worked this time. Within few weeks they were married. I will brief their story as per best of my knowledge.
    Initial years were tough as dad was working overtime to help his sibling's studies and marriage. I still can’t believe they used to run their house only by 10% of salary. Rest all was for others. Then my elder sis was born. Daddy says, she was luckiest turn for his career. He was writing for an All-india level exam. And he had failed two times despite of whole year of strenuous efforts. This was his list chance. and he was not even studying much. Mom was the only reason he took that exam. But she wouldn't let him give up. She was like ..just take the exam.rest all will fall in place. This time they had 3 months old kid in house. So it was harder to even live regularly. Forget about exam preparation. So mom suggested to go to parents' place for some months. There daddy took exam. and this time he ranked in top 10 in India. He always tells that was just elder sis's luck.
    Mummy says, it was all his hard work. She had seen him sleeping only 2 hours for two years for studying . she was like he just tried so hard that his natural efforts were getting effected. well whatever , whoever is the credit.. My daddy became officer then. And there on life started turning good for them. Then my brother followed , then little me. Yes I am the youngest and exact copy of my mom.. I have all her positive traits and all my daddy's positive traits too. However I do have my own negative traits too. But we all are human right!
    Now history has to repeat itself, the same alliance thing happened in my own marriage. It was discussed between father, Then dropper, then worked out.. So pretty much round circle there.
    In all these years of watching my parents , some good points I drew

    - In which ever house lady is not respected, prosperity will not stay.
    - Those who hate daughters, chances are God hate them too
    - If you are raising hand on someone , you are the weaker and wrong one.
    - Even though Mommy can say anything, but she still loves you. so you have to forgive her 10000 faults without any question
    - Love is not about going to market together. Love is about caring for timely medicine for spouse. Its about letting go of your own shirt , so that she can buy one more saree.
    - If she says no for something, its NO.
    - If you have made her cry, no one will talk to you in the house.
    - I will fill for you, whenever you are not around. But when you are here..you will have to fill for both of us.
    - I will not cook explicit cuisine unless its some occassion.
    - If you are not arguing, you are not thinking yourself.

    Thats all for now.. Let me hear some more interesting stories from others too.

    Ria
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2008
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  2. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Ria,

    this is definitely a positive thread. I will say mine in nut shell...though if you have been following some old threads you should be knowing my story by now and also my DH.

    We were colleagues.me in the computer dept. veda in the accounts...We always used to have great arguments...that are still yardstick for arguments and fights between colleagues..but the moment we were out of the office, we forget it...go and have a cup(s) of coffee, talk.

    One fine day veda said why don't we get married.. those days there were proposals at home.. i thought he was joking...but then understood the seriousness of it... well I said yes...marrying a known devil is better than a unknown devil...

    Got married, had our ups and downs, adjustments...infact I still don't know if we married out of love, or started falling in love after our marriage....btw it is our 15th wedding day today..we have 2 kids...who are apple of our eyes..but not pampered...

    I am too daring,practical, energetic with a never say die attitude.
    he is strong pillar behind me (though he is not seen..for two reasons being invisible/or maybe because of my size.:queen..)
    We discuss everything...preferences, dislikes everything...
    and you are right about prosperity...I have been a lucky charm to the family.
    let me stop here.....

    But one thing i would like to say...there is no miracle wand to make successful marriages...you work on it.....
     
  3. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Wow Ria,

    Nice to read a positive thread. And something very positive about your parents has rubbed into you too...so your posts are also very positive.

    Shan :hatsoff to you again...and i am sure Veda is a lucky guy and he know of it.

    Ria, like you today i'll talk about my parents.

    My dad are 9 brothers n sisters. He s an electronics engg. and for a couple of years was in Ahmedabad as a lecturer.

    Then he came back to Kochi to be with his family. My mom too is well educated. When they married and she came into this big family, being the eldest DIL along came the responsibilities too.

    My Nani being modern in her thoughts and outlook and my dadi being very traditional., initially my mom used to find it difficult to cope up with things...but slowly she started adjusting in life.

    Then came the 2nd DIL of the family. And that started the woes of my mom. Clear distinction of treatment meted out to the 2 DIL...as my mom is wheatish and my aunt was fair. My mom had a daughter and aunt had a son.

    Still my parents kept quiet. But when things started going overboard, my dad decided to separate and live a little away from the family thought in the same locality. They started their new home with a couple of vessels and clothes and carried what was rightfully theirs.

    But they also made it a point that they will never back out if their family ever needed them...even today at the age of 78 my dad is still working and earning his own living...my mom 75 still manages the home with the help of a maid. We are just 3 sisters. Even today they still help their siblings when ever in need...though it should be the other way round.

    As my parents had to start from scratch...still they never hesitated to give us good education...we went to a Italian missionary school. Never backed out when his siblings needed any help...got all of them married. My mom never said that my dad should not help his family as they had almost thrown them out...she never went unless the need arose but she never stopped my dad. And my dad too never forced her to go as he knew when the need be she will definitely be there.

    They also always helped neighbours and acquaintances in their hour of need even though it meant that that day we will get maybe only rice and pickle.

    :hatsoff to both of them for giving us a great up bringing and to be positive and to never back out or get disheartened when we are going thru a lean period.

    Roopa.
     
  4. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    Wow two nice stories to hear, :queen
    Thanks Shanvy and Roopa for being a good sport.


    Yes I have read couple of threads about your life Shanvy, and I always thought you have come really long way in life. Having seen big ups and down and holding the mantel of house all by yourself is not easy task.
    But you are setting right role model for your kids and they will carry whats best impression of a mom is. well done..And Happy aniversary. May you both have wonderful years together to come.

    Roopa,

    Wow! thats like inspirational story. Do your duty and dont hold grudges. Very strong conviction and nice moral lesson for all of us. I loved reading it. Hats off to your parents for being the best.. :hatsoff

    Ria
     
  5. dsrini

    dsrini Bronze IL'ite

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    WOW Ria its really nice of u to think about this.

    First, I need to give big applause & appreciation to ur self, SS, Aarushi, sukan, malyatha & lot of other friends for giving wonderful suggestion & ideas to the ladies who have problem. You guys put ur thoughts into words very beautifully, even I will read all of them but finds it difficult to put my thoughts into words I will forget lot of points , all I do is I will pray for them. Anywayz:hatsoff:clapto all of u.

    Now coming to the topic, I am the last one in my family so everyone's chellam(pet). So I had a very happy pre-marriage life & have a very very happy post-marriage(had pre-pregnancy) life & now have very very very happy post-pregnancy life, coz now I feel complete & njoys every minute of it.

    I don't expect anything, I know whenever, whatever is to happen it will & LIFE SO FAR SO GOOD with God's grace.

    Good thinking Ria in changing the title for some threads to more relevant to the issue.

    Best wishes to everyone.

    Dhivya
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2008
  6. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    Hey Dhivya

    Thanks for the kind words. Thats very sweet of you. And your story is indeed a nice one too. Great going!! Many more happiness and milestones to you.

    I just think sometime we get down in life, thinking its sprint race of 100 meters. And its over if we loose it at the moment. But I think life is marathon of 100 miles, where few blows just stengthen us more. And when anyone seems down with that one big blow in their life, I just want to convey, you are not alone. We all face one or other blow eventually. Beauty in life is not to stop on that blow, but in moving on. And no problem is big enough for willing heart and thinking mind. So keep the smile and let the life bring its goodies on..

    Cheers
    Ria
     

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