Let’s Relax This Time With A New Year Party!

You said it right, Vandhana!

Dear Vandhana,

What characterises the modern day life is a kind of an extreme violence, or a extremely violent stimulation of senses. I can see this trait both at work as well as at leisure. In the BPO I am involved I have made it a point to have the timings from 930 to 6 PM only. In emergencies we go up to 730 or 8. I dont allow the ladies stay back after 7 whatever may be the emergency.

But I find people working for 14 hours at a stretch foregoing food and sleep. That is violence at work. With such a work life you cannot sustain a good mind or tender feelings. And that is reflected in leisure. Once I was in Bangalore I saw call centre guys and gals taking a Qualis on Saturday Morning for two days of drinking and what not in a suburban farm house.

Take it from me Vandhana, the best way to celebrate new year is to stay with your family and do something which you love to do. If you have free time you may like to jot down what you would like to do in the coming year. Boozing and dancing are not celebration but some kind of an aberration.

Thanks for the participation, Vandhana,
regards,
sridhar

 

I am not against parties and clubs, Meenu!

Dear Meenu,
I am not against parties and clubs. I do not even mind my friends drinking in such parties.
I can reemember the best of conversations I have had with some of my very good friends happened in exclusive clubs in the outskirts of cities. And parties are great get-to-gethers. You are simply excited to see so many of your friends in one place and catch up with them.
But the problem is new year parties. In other parties the drinks are limited. And many take a peg or two and nurse it for hours on end, talking animatedly with their friends. That is fine. Perfectly fine. But on new years eve people drink like fish. And there is this dancing. I am yet to reconcile this dancing with our strong value system.
When we were young my mother taught me that even if I were to see my own sister along with her friends in the road, I should not smile or wave hands. Because the others will not know and might think ill of my sister.
From that kind of a system I simply cannot imagine totally unrelated men and women dancing in close proximity in a semi-lit dancing floor.
And after such a violent celebration many cant attend office on 1st. They will be spending the very first day of the new year nursing a bad hangover.

Regards,
Varalotti

 

Well Said, Preethi!

Dear Preethi,

As you rightly pointed out there is nothing wrong in celebration and new year bash per se. But one has to know his or her limits, especially the limits imposed by the culture in which one is brought up.

In the days I was in college even if we ask to borrow a book from a girl then it will be a huge scandal. But nowadays things have improved quite a lot. There is a healthy discussion among men and women. I need not go far to illustrate. IL is the best example. Exchange of ideas between members of opposite sexes has been very healthy and while I dont know about ladies, I can say for myself, that I have tremendously improved. Responding in an open forum, addressing personal mails and pms with women whom I have not met and might not meet at all, has helped me a lot in honing my writing skills. Above all it has given me an insight into the working of a woman's mind. That is a very valuable asset for a writer, even a small fry like me operating on the wings.

But any relationship when allowed to go overboard spoils all the happiness and complicates our lives. That was the bitter lesson I learnt in that memorable new year bash. Whatever may be the other lessons, the one unforgettable lesson I learnt is not to attend any such kind of bashes in future. And I have maintained that policy so far.

Thanks a lot for your kind wishes, Preethi. And may I take this opportunity to wish Preethi and Prem (one who is pleasing and who is love himself, believe me these are the meanings of your and your sweet husband's names) a very happy, peaceful and a prosperous new year.

திருமதி ப்ரீதி அவர்களே,
உங்கள் எதிர்பார்ப்புகளை நிறைவேற்றும் வல்லமையை இறைவன் எனக்கு அளிப்பானாக.
என்றும் அன்புடன்
வரலொட்டி ரெங்கசாமி

 

Its sadly true, Seena!

Thanks to the invasion of the Western culture drinking has become a part of your celebrations. Now no party is complete without drinks. And more the merrier.
The problem with drinks is that once a man is used to it, he then tries to treat it as a defence mechanism or an escape route. When there is a serious problem either at the office or at home, the first thing the man looks for is a stiff drink. This is a potentially dangerous route. Many careers, many families, and many lives have been ruined by drinks.

I know a young client of mine who died when he was hardly 40 thanks to the damage to liver because of his excess drinking. I was shocked to see his twin sons who were at that time in 9th standard and his wife who should have been about 33 years old. This mans habit has wrought disaster in the innocent lives of his wife and his children.

I could never bring to forgive this man. But it is a sad fact of life which is brought to surface, ironically, in happy situations like new year parties and other celebrations.
Thanks for your participation, Seena
regards,
sridhar

 

That's it, Varloo!

Dear Varloo,

As you rightly said it is imperative that we say NO the first time and then every time. I have a strong policy. I dont say that I can control myself at any time and go ahead and exceed my limits. When the lady wanted to dance with me, I heard the sound clinging of the warning bell in my head that made me say an emphatic no.

I have the same attitude towards drinking. The problem with drinking is that it is very difficult to stay within limits, especially if one is facing a serious problem either at office or home. People have written in the gossip thread that they lost many friends because they did not subscribe to their gossip. In the same strain I should say that I have lost many friends because of my adamant refusal to drink along with them. But I do not count these people as my friends and I do not have any regrets in this matter.

What happened in the end was quite interesting. I have developed many friends who would like to drink and enjoy my conversation. They will come and pick me up at my place and take me to the club or bar. While they drink I will be eating snacks and enjoying their conversation.

Thanks for your participation, Varloo
sridhar

 

Thanks For The Applause, Purnima!

Dear Purnima,

Nice to see you in IL after a long time. It's all right, finish all your commitments and come back a free person to IL with your invigorating posts.

Hats off to your Father, Purnima, who, like many people did not make the easy choice, but the right choice. And that shows in the upbringing of yourself and your siblings.

And there is no wonder in that! For didn't you say your father is a chartered accountant? CAs are like that. They know what is right and what is best for them and their family.
(I am not trying to pat myself on my back; but this is truth. Ha ha ha ha)
regards,
sridhar

 

Thanks Gayathri!

Hi Gayathri,

The youngsters do not call me paranoid. I am quite popular among youngsters especially in the colleges and camps I go for leadership training.
But on that day in that party, considering my statements about the drinking and dancing, that particular youngster called me paranoid. But he was disproved within a very short time when the mishap occured in the dance floor.

Thanks again for your nice words, Gayathri. And let me wish you and yours a very happy and a prosperous new year.

regards,
sridhar

 

You are not weird, Anjana!

Dear Anjana,

You are not weird, Anjana, when you ring in the New year with aarathi and bhajans. Only those who opt to drink and get drunk on the new years eve, only those who opt to dance with members of opposite sex on the dark dance floor, only those women who dress provocatively and land themselves into trouble, only they are weird.

The major problem of today's society is this. Those who are in the minority are always termed as weird. A college student who studies well and listens to the class is called weird (or a nerd). An official who is not corrupt is termed weird. But only these are right thinking people with their hearts in the right place.

Indhu and Preethi join me in thanking you for your kind wishes and wishing you and yours a very happy and a properous new year.

regards,
sridhar