I always feel nostalgic while reading this thread... When @anika987 started the same kind thread I was not able stop myself to go back and read all the posts again. I shared it here as it has some very useful lessons shared by different people.
Well said.. tea and book ..best! I used to do that a lot but now left it need to restart! These small things are true happiness!
I cant explain what reading does to me, call it happiness, joy or bliss or everything, because the process of reading and after that i feel a new me, refreshed and rejuvenated, as though spoke with an old friend who understands me without me saying anything.
[QUOTE="Will keep this in mind.Thank you[/QUOTE] You will/should get stronger from this point. Good luck !
1. i learnt my self worth is very important - which translates to what i am valued in my absence . like am i am growing well as good parent or same in my career. 2. my environment is very important. i strongly believe that we cannot be happy or pretend to be happy if we know that we can change our environment and still do not. like bad work place - we can move to different job if we know all it matters is self training. bad relationship - it is not possible to act single and super happy while in a committed poisonous relationship. 3. my spouse is not my best friend to dump my emotional stress. 4. but he is the one who i share similar interests and goals in life. (opposite attract only in movies. ) . because of that i prioritize him more than kids and he does the same and do not feel any ego in pampering each other physically or actions like care . 5. appreciate your loved ones more than strangers sometimes we do opposite . appreciate for everything they do that makes your life easy. even giving a glass of water by daughter. show in actions, son doing his work without watching ipad even that i consider 1 less mental stress. 6. health - physical and mental - i keep this as last . because if your environment is good, you can fix everything. if your job is not good and 8 hrs of mental stress hurts. i feel change for lower paying positive work and again change when you are ready. marriage, same - if you want to goto gym or learn for career or practice hobby and spouse and does not help in disciplining kids or not supportive. one cannot do all alone and also do hobby. hobby does not feel like hobby.
@anika987 Here are my comments agreeing with your 8 points: 1) Let friendships or any relationship be organic.Never force yourself to be in someone’s life because you feel lonely. I believe every friendship/relationship occurs not accidentally but for building our experiences. Even if a friendship is terminated, it also communicates something special to us. Yes. One can socialize as much as he/she could but it is like throwing something towards the wall and see what sticks. If a relationship is intended to be for a long period in our life, it would happen despite the mistakes either side commits. 2) Wear what you really love and feel comfortable with and is your style and NOT what is in trend or to look good for others. Comparing ourselves with others or trying to meet the expectation of others in how we dress ourselves is a futile exercise. What is the guarantee that if we dress to the requirements, we would be accepted better? It is best we wear what we love and feel comfortable. 3) Experiences are more pleasurable than beans and materialistic things. I rewrote this as processes involved in our actions is more valuable that the outcome. Once we focus on materialistic outcome of every action we make, it only results in disappointment. It is best we enjoy what we do and every part of what we do. We learn from the process of doing it and it refines how we do things in future. 4) Exercise.Good not just for your health but for your mind. Exercise plays an important part in our lives. It is the physical exertion that enhances concentration, one-pointedness and clarity to our mind. We need to declutter our thoughts regularly as many time as possible just like how we do Spring cleaning in our house. The foul smell comes in our words and actions and not from our head. 5) Expectations are the cause of misery.Manage it right. I have a simple formula for a happy and fulfilling life. The formulat is Happy and fulfilling life = Constant improvement to our Attitude, Behavior, Character and Determination/Reduced Expectations. Lesser the denominator, the quality of life improves. 6) Eliminate or limit anything or anyone which serves you no purpose. Our life's value is reduced by bad company as much as how good company adds value to our lives as much as how. Even a tree eliminates unwanted leaves and allow the fruits to be used by other species and let the seeds to grow in another place. 7) In the end..it is ONLY you for yourself.Even family won’t stand by you at all times. Tree of life has many branches and leaves but journey of life is all alone. It is our action that creates karma and not the actions of others. Our life is created to learn from our experiences, eliminate our encryption and perform actions that would be with no expecation of the fruits but done skillfully, selflessly and lovingly. We came alone and leave alone. 8) Have your Signature style.Nothing beats your originality.Being yourself is the best compliment you can give for yourself. Like our thumb impression and irish image, our originality is also unique. We have been created to do certain actions and hence we come with a passion to do such actions. It is our duty to find those passions and fulfill them. It is okay to emulate how to do actions skillfully but not the actions itself from others. That is why comparsion creates only pain.
My very big learning in past decade is to understand that it is not level playing field for everyone (especially women) and comparing, judging or setting expectations based on your situation and experience is futile. It is a very hard earned lesson as I have seen both end of spectrums and used to think why life is so unfair to some but so generous to others. But in the end there is a hidden valuable experience or lesson that only the person living that life gets irrespective of others perception of them. This helped me mature and be more accepting and consciously letting go of all the unnecessary baggage in life.
