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Lessons to teach Children

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by rajmiarun, Jan 8, 2007.

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  1. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Hello all I would like to share articles that I have come accross to teach our own kids and I got the impression from this week's poll to start something like this. Most articles posted by me here are taken from India Parenting. If I take something from books and magazines I will include the due credit to the author.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2007
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  2. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Found this highly impressive and must need for today's kids

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=+2]Sensible Shoppers[/SIZE][/FONT]
    <!--- Monisha Sen-->

    Does your child want to buy everything that looks good in the ads? Make your child an aware consumer so he doesn't get taken for a ride now, or when he grows up.

    It couldn't get worse than this. Advertisers have found that to get the biggest market share they don't have to make new customers but actually raise them. And kids seem to fit their bracket perfectly. The result: children today are being bombarded with advertisements. Childhood is not just about toys anymore. It's about popular cartoon characters selling everything under the sun - from chips to cold drinks, from soaps to shoes and from games to computers.

    How does this affect your child

    Values of money and saving have taken a backseat as mindless spending on advertised products has become a habit with many children. While studies have found that by the age of 4 children can recognize brands, they still take ads on their face value. They believe what they see and it affects how they interpret the world around them.

    According to them, you can even become sharp by eating a particular brand of cornflakes - studies don't count. Similarly, you are cool if you know everything about the latest Playstation or Xbox . Incessant and mindless advertising like this distorts their self-image. And it doesn't stop with one product. Regular upgrades and newer versions of their products breed dissatisfaction among kids.

    But the most disturbing and alarming effect of ads is on the health of your child. Junk food advertisements form the major chunk of commercials aimed at children. Unhealthy foods like pizzas, burgers, cold drinks and wafers have become a part of their daily diets.

    Help your child be an aware consumer

    As a parent you not only have to protect your child from this material culture, you also have to help him make aware choices.
    • Your first step is tackling the advertisements. If he wants to watch a cartoon channel let him. But try to introduce ad-free channels, too. All these channels have programs especially for kids. On some occasions you can also play him cartoon DVDs and taped programs.
    • Mute commercial breaks.
    • Try reasoning. Point out differences between the actual product and the one being aired on the television. For example, your child can easily see that although fast food chains show big toys in their combo meals, they turn out to be as small as their portions.
    • Inculcate wise shopping habits. Always make a list and a budget before going shopping with kids. Set a price limit for your child, too. If he can shop only for Rs 10, help him identify what all he can buy and compare the different brands before making a choice.
    • Teach her to read product labels, especially those on food items. Start with telling her how to read food label on the cereal box. Its nutrition chart will tell how much vitamins, iron, proteins, carbohydrates or fats she will get by eating it.
    • Giving pocket money also helps. Your child should be responsible for his purchasing decisions.
    • Steer away from malls on your weekend outings. Plan trips to museum, zoo or amusement parks. The time you spend with your family should be sacrosanct. Don't dilute the fun and bonding by television or video games.
    • Older children can be taught how to differentiate between what they need and what they want. If your child has to buy shoes, help him pick a sturdy good-looking pair and not an expensive branded one.
    • Teach the value of money by involving her in activities like helping the less privileged ones by donating money or time.
    <!-- Article ends here -->
     
  3. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    I am forced to post this article when my daughter's teacher complained about 3 children in her class who steals other children's things in a PT meeting.
    Stealing and Children


    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Jumping the gun[/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Parents often find that their children turn up with things that don't belong to them. A parent's instinctive reaction is to give the child a good dressing down so as to nip his career as a petty thief in the bud. To decide that a child is stealing is a moral judgement that parents tend to be trigger-happy about. The fact is that parents cannot apply adult standards of discipline, self-control and morality to the actions of little children.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]The age of innocence[/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Small children aged from one to three years occasionally do take things that don't belong to them, but their intention is not to steal. They are too young to comprehend the concept of possession and that something could belong exclusively to someone. They still have to develop the concepts of 'yours' and 'mine' so when they see something they like, they feel it's all right to take it. So if a three-year-old has walked off with her playmate's doll, there's no need for her parents to overreact. They merely have to explain to her that the doll belongs to X and she would like to play with it so it would be best to give the doll back. They can also remind their child that she has plenty of dolls of her own to play with. [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Young children may also take things as part of their search for an identity. For instance, a child may take his father's watch or his elder brother's favourite video game just because it gives him a sense of belonging. It is not the object in itself that attracts him. He feels that by having something that belongs to his father or brother in some way makes him like them. He has not considered the right and wrong of taking these things. Guilt develops at a later stage. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Older children and stealing[/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]When children from the age of six to adolescence steal, they are definitely aware that what they are doing is not right. By this time, their conscience has developed, as similar behaviour in the past would have been met with parental censure and disapproval. Thus, when children in this age group take something that does not belong to them, they tend to be secretive and furtive. They will usually hide the object they have stolen and probably deny taking it when confronted. It is relatively easy to forgive a younger child for taking what does not belong to him on the grounds that he is unaware of what he is doing. However, parents confronted with children old enough to know the difference between right and wrong are dismayed by this 'criminal' behaviour. [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Often parents are perplexed because they find that the object that their child has 'stolen', is something that he already has. Therefore, the stealing is inexplicable. So where does the problem really lie? Loneliness could be one explanation. May be the child feels a lack of closeness in his relationship with his parents or has difficulty making friends. In that case, by stealing money he could attempt to buy the affection of his peers or attempt to satisfy his craving for attention and affection in this roundabout fashion. Stealing can also have its roots in feelings of fear, resentment, jealousy, etc. [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Sometimes an older child may steal an ashtray when he goes to a restaurant with his friends or swipe something from his parents. Such behaviour is usually the result of peer pressure and done in response to a dare. This behaviour may be misguided, but it rarely stems from maladjustment or represents the beginnings of criminality in the child. He is just doing it to be accepted by his peers. The way to deal with this is to reprimand the child firmly and to make sure that nothing that the parents have said or done in any way condones such behaviour. For instance, discussions about evading tax or paying household bills on company expense. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Dealing with stealing[/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Parents should walk a fine line between discipline and humiliation. It doesn't help to make a big issue and treat the child as if he has committed a major offence. This will only serve to frighten the child and put his back up. If a parent is absolutely sure that his child has stolen something, he must inform the child that he is aware that the object does not belong to the child. He should then question the child as to where he got the object from and then insist that he restore it to the rightful owner. The parent can help the child out by accompanying him to the shop or to the person to which the object belongs when the child goes to apologize, return the object or pay for it if he has taken it from a shop. It is not necessary to humiliate the child, but at the same time parents must make it clear that such behaviour is unacceptable and is not to be repeated. [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Parents also need to clarify the difference between stealing and borrowing. They must explain to their children that they need to ask the other person before taking any of their belongings. If the other person refuses to lend his possessions and the child still takes it, it is not borrowing, but stealing. The fact that the child asks first makes no difference because the other person did not give his consent. In this way, parents teach their children to respect other people's possessions, to have the manners to ask before using or taking others' things and to delay self-gratification. [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1]If the stealing is a recurrent behaviour, parents should consider the root cause of the problem. If they feel the child steals to attract attention or as a result of loneliness or a lack of affection, they need to rectify the situation. If necessary, parents can consult a child psychologist or counsellor if the stealing is chronic.[/SIZE]
     
  4. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    I was shocked

    When my daughter 5 yrs old said that she doesnot like the thatha who came home the other day I was confused at first. But when she explained why she didnot like him I was shocked.

    She told me Amma you have taught me how someone other than close relatives should touch me. I went near that thatha when he called me but he hugged me in an awkward way and his hands were on my thighs. I removed it twice but he still rested it there when I felt I dont like it any more I got up and went inside to play. In fact I was even ready to take scoldings from you too. I felt I could explain you and appa how I felt. But you didnot scold me, so I wanted to tell you how I felt.

    I was shocked by her matured talk and also by that relative's behaviour too. How many of us have taught our children Good Touchand Bad Touch and how many of us personally would have experienced such a thing.
     
  5. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Articles related to Sex Abuse

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=+2]Does your child know the [/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=+2]meaning of sex abuse?[/SIZE][/FONT]



    [SIZE=-1]Did you know that one in three girls in the world is sexually abused before reaching the age of eighteen, and one in four before the age of fourteen? In the case of boys, one in six is sexually abused before the age of sixteen. Quite shocking, to say the least.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]According to sociologist David Finkelhor, who has conducted a massive study on child sexual abuse in over 19 countries besides the United States and Canada, sex abuse percentages in most countries are comparable with North American research figures. The overall percentages range from 7% to 36% for girls and 3% to 29% for boys. Most of these studies found females to be abused at 1.5 to 3 times more than boys. We can clearly see that sexual abuse is an international problem and not restricted to just a few countries in the world. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]In fact, after countries like Philippines, Sri Lanka and Thailand, countries like Nepal, India and Cambodia are facing an increasing number of paedophiles. A research carried out by Sakshi, a New Delhi-based non-governmental organization, says that 80% of Indian girls and women, belonging to all social classes, experience sexual abuse in their own families and friend circle. Majority of them prefer to remain silent.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]According to the State of Child Rights in India, incidences of child abuse are definitely on the rise especially since the nineties. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]It is quite shocking to know that [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1] - 66% sexual offenders know their victims. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1] - 32% paedophiles have abused their own children. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1] - 49% paedophiles are attracted to unstable children.[/SIZE]

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]WHAT EXACTLY IS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE?[/FONT]
    [SIZE=-1]Child sexual abuse is any sexual contact between a child and another person (from fondling to rape) with or without force. People who prefer sexual activity with a child are known as 'paedophiles'. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]It is important to remember that such offenders are completely 'responsible' and guilty in the abuse, even if they have taken the consent of the minor child. The consent of a child is not considered to be any consent at all.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]It is imperative to note that family members or close neighbours or frustrated fellow mates can manipulate children. Little wonder that one out of every six abusers is a child. They can be homosexual or even heterosexual. Paedophiles are usually male and could come from almost any socio-economic background.[/SIZE]

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]HOW TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD[/FONT]
    1. [SIZE=-1]Never scare a child about sexual abuse. Panic will beget panic. Your child may get overcautious about people. This will also affect the child's everyday vigour and spontaneity, which is the ultimate source of joy in a parent's life. But of course, it is always better to be safe than sorry. Therefore, teach him or her the ground rules without injecting fear. [/SIZE]
    2. [SIZE=-1]Teach your children the names of the different parts of the body. Take this step further by specifying the private parts. Tell the child that these parts should not be touched by anyone, not even close friends. [/SIZE]
    3. [SIZE=-1]Your behaviour with your spouse can be a role model for the children. Therefore, until your children understand the importance of a healthy sexual relationship, do not display overt affection to your partner in front of the children. If the children ever touch your private parts, which most children playfully do in their very early years, be firm and tell them not to ever repeat it. A correct message should be conveyed with regard to the private parts. [/SIZE]
    4. [SIZE=-1]Tell them that they should immediately report to you if anyone (even if the person is a very close relative) tries to touch them in any odd place, especially if that person specifically asks them not to tell the parents. [/SIZE]
    5. [SIZE=-1]Teach them not to talk to or to take anything from strangers, certainly not to give out their name, address and telephone number to anyone. But do emphasize the importance of being polite without divulging extra information. [/SIZE]
    6. [SIZE=-1]Be a good listener. Your children must be sure of a patient hearing without any embarrassing remarks. Make sure that you share a completely open and friendly relationship with your children. Devote some time everyday to listening to your children's experiences in school and after-school hours. [/SIZE]
    7. [SIZE=-1]Encourage your children to invite friends at home. Watch them discreetly from a distance so that you are aware of their peer group. If you sense something unhealthy, bring it to their notice. For instance, if a your daughter is visibly falling on her boyfriend at a party, take her aside later and just tell her that such things never go unnoticed. However, do not make a big issue out of it.[/SIZE]
    8. [SIZE=-1]Last but not the least; be vigilant for any signs of sexual abuse. Sudden shifts in temperament, mood withdrawals, nightmares, bedwetting, bruising or swelling of genitals, fear of a certain individual, loss of interest in academic and social activities are all good indicators of sexual abuse.[/SIZE]
     
  6. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Articles related to Sex Abuse

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=+2]Sexual Abuse in Children[/SIZE][/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=+1]By Anuradha Satyanarayana[/SIZE][/FONT]
    [SIZE=-1]Childhood is a building block on which the future is laid. Childhood experiences influence the ways in which we feel, think, act and respond throughout our lives. The events, circumstances and relationships of our early past have a profound and implacable impact on our adult lives. For some children childhood is not the golden period that is idolized and glorified, rather it is a period of intense pain and hurt and betrayal. This hurt, pain and betrayal is often caused by sexual abuse. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]What is Sexual Abuse[/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Child sexual abuse can take place within the family by a parent, step-parent, sibling or any other relative, or outside the home by a friend, teacher, caretaker or favorite uncle! Child abuse can be defined as a physical violation of a child's body through any sort of sexual contact or a psychological violation of the child through verbal or nonverbal behavior. It is neglectful, disrespectful and hurtful because it violates a child's basic rights to be protected, nurtured and guided through childhood. It can range from covert episodes like using profane language to overt actions like rape. Lyod de Mause wrote, "The history of childhood is a nightmare from which we have only recently begun to awaken," and true enough the Indian society is still awakening to the fact that child sexual abuse exists and has horrifying after effects. [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]No child is psychologically prepared to cope with repeated sexual stimulation. Child sexual abuse leaves deep physical and psychological scars, which often have indelible and irrevocable ramifications. The consequences of abuse are traumatic and distort the development process. Research evidence suggests that the initial effect is that of fear often accompanied by depression, restlessness, bedwetting, refusal to go to school, feelings of guilt, phobias and nightmares. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Long-term Effects[/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]The long-term effects of child sexual abuse are intense shame and low self-esteem. Most victims feel valued only as sexual objects and relate to the world through sexual activity. They feel worthless, insignificant and almost invisible. Guilt and shame go hand in hand. Many children continue to believe that they played some part in the interaction. They may blame themselves for the physical contact, and for not having defended themselves. Most children feel isolated from others, especially if a family member is involved, because they feel there is no one they can safely confide in. Sexual abuse involves coercion, confusion, manipulation and betrayal, thus making it emotionally devastating.[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1] Most adult survivors go on to become loners, avoiding intimate relationships. They become fearful of trusting people as those they trusted have violated them. This self-imposed isolation keeps them from further hurt, but it also deprives them from getting their needs met. Most victims find it difficult to trust people and form meaningful relationships. Most victims report reactions of fear, hostility and an acute sense of betrayal. It is this sense of betrayal that often proves to be an obstacle while making new relationships. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Blurred role boundaries between adults[/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]For many children the abusive experience demonstrates blurred role boundaries between adults and children, parents and children, and often men and women. Children may be frightened to trust, fear intimacy, show extremes in dependency needs, and may often vacillate from being totally dependent to totally independent. Typically they may sexualize their relationships in an attempt to gain affection. In adolescence this can lead to self-destructive patters of promiscuity with a succession of abusive relationships, often with far reaching and emotionally crippling consequences. Interpersonal difficulties are characteristic of adult life.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Depression and a feeling of "damaged goods"[/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Sexually abused children often become depressed because they have no way of dealing with their painful feelings. A child endures extreme losses, like the loss of safety, loss of self-esteem, and the loss of trust. These losses tend to reinforce the depression. Most adult survivors carry these childhood losses with them and struggle with repeated bouts of depression. The negative connotations that are communicated to the child about the experiences become incorporated in the child's self image. There may be a failure to even establish a sense of self and they feel like "damaged goods." [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]The child's sense of responsibility is often distorted. Sometimes an over developed sense of responsibility is exhibited wherein they feel responsible for everything and are frequently overwhelmed by guilt. Some other children totally internalize the victim's role and refuse to accept responsibility for anything. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Feeling of Guilt and Abandonment[/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]The neglect that is part of growing up in a sexually abusive family causes the child to feel abandoned. They are in constant fear of their well being and it isn't just the abuse itself. It is the threats, the guilt, and the constant fear of discovery that is as harmful. All these feeling coupled with the painful realization that the people who are supposed to love them are the ones who are hurting and betraying them is the worst of all. [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Instead of developing the feelings about oneself and others that a child would learn in a nurturing family (I am important), they creatively alter and develop skills to survive, which may include denial (I'll pretend it did not happen). Altered coping skills interrupt the learning stage and are ineffective in adulthood. For example, instead of learning to trust, they learn not to trust causing a host of interpersonal and personal problems. [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Many an adult survivor may turn to a preoccupation with food, sex, or gambling, as a way of coping. They use it as a means of feeling whole and integrated. Such preoccupations also give them a sense of illusive escape from their traumatic world. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Importance of Family Support[/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1]If the abuse is short lived and terminated with effective action, the negative consequences are minimized. However, one of the most important factors is to believe in the child. Family support, love and understanding are crucial at this stage and may largely influence the recovery of the individual. Thus, abuse inflicts severe physical, psychological and spiritual damage, the echoes of which haunt the child long after he has grown up. It is important that the survivors move beyond the painful past and live an integrated, empowered, and fulfilling life that they are entitled to and capable of living. It is possible to change a hopeless life to a hope filled life.[/SIZE]
     
  7. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Another one

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=+2]Dealing with a sexually abused child?[/SIZE][/FONT]


    [SIZE=-1]Help your child recover from sex abuse.[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Isha was shell-shocked to know that the tuition teacher had abused her eight-year-old son. How could that have gone unnoticed from her caring and watchful eye? "How do I handle this?" "How will the child live with this memory?" [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1]Most parents react similarly. They find themselves helpless and unable to cope with the grief caused by a sex abuse incident. Here are tips for parents on ways to deal with a sexually abused child. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]IMPACT ON YOU AS A PARENT[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica][/FONT]
    [SIZE=-1]The first reaction of the parent of a sexually abused child is that of outright denial. Parents, who are secondary victims in any abuse case, tend to deny such an incident. At a later stage this denial gives way to anger, which they direct at themselves and the offender. But such overpowering feelings have to be controlled. Only a composed parent can help an abused child. A parent has to first accept the reality and then make a very concerted effort not to feel depressed about it. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]BELIEVE IN THE CHILD[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica][/FONT]
    [SIZE=-1]Even if the offender is a trusted family friend or a close neighbour or a relative, parents should not disbelieve a child when the latter narrates an experience of sexual abuse. Any doubt about the integrity of the child will shake the very foundation of your child's sense of right and wrong. Even if it is found that a child had given consent to the offender, parents have to empathize with a minor child. Parents have to extend full-fledged and unconditional support to the child after the unfortunate incident. Assure and reassure the child that you will keep the offender and his likes away in the future. Never let the child develop a deep sense of mistrust. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]ALWAYS REMAIN IN CONTROL[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica][/FONT]
    [SIZE=-1]Parents should never betray their feelings. Children tend to get affected by the vibes. Always look in control, even if you are shaken from within. A child, especially a sexually abused one, draws one's energies from supporting parents.[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]REMOVE THE BURDEN OF GUILT[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica][/FONT]
    [SIZE=-1]Never interrogate the child as to why he or she was hiding the fact for so long. There is no point in adding to the child's feeling of guilt. For example, if your son feels depressed to join his old circle of friends, let him take his time. Tell him that he is as precious to you as he was before he was abused.[/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]BEHAVE NORMAL [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica][/FONT]
    [SIZE=-1]Parents tend to get very overprotective after the incident. This does not help. Stick to the normal caring behaviour and do not confuse the child with extraordinary concern. Work towards making the child self-reliant. [/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]HELP THE CHILD TO EXPESS[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica][/FONT]
    [SIZE=-1]Encourage your child to express his inner feelings, either in creative competitions or elocution. Discourage your child from brooding too long about it, or by relenlessly discussing it. But he should be given the chance to vent his feelings about the traumatic incident. [/SIZE][SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=-1][/SIZE]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]GET A PROFESSIONAL INVOLVED [/FONT][SIZE=-1][/SIZE] [SIZE=-1]Your child is bound to experience certain behavioural difficulties, which only a professional can handle. Get a professional at the earliest, before the child is derailed. Your child will also feel reassured that there is another adult to take charge and help you out in this situation. Professional counseling along with psychiatric help will also help you to deal with your own trauma. [/SIZE]
     
  8. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    How to involve children while cooking

    Cooking with Kids at different ages


    <CENTER><TABLE width="100%">[​IMG][SIZE=-1]Cooking is something that many children long to do. To help you decide what is right for your child, we have written what aid your child can give you in cooking. So, get ready to get into that kitchen and start cooking![/SIZE]

    <TABLE width="30%" border=0><TR bgColor=#ff9966>[FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1] 3 to 6 years[/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]can stir ingredients in a bowl[/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]wash fruits and vegetables [/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]can add ingredients to a bowl if supervised[/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]can hold a portable electric mixer with adult supervision. The adult should turn the mixer on and off and control the speed while the beaters are in the bowl. [/SIZE][/FONT]
    <TABLE width="30%"><TR bgColor=#ff9966>[FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1] 7 to 10 years[/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]fill and level measuring spoons and cups[/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]can pour liquids into a measuring cup[/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]heat ingredients with a wire whisk [/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]can use a dull knife to cut and spread soft foods, such as butter and jam[/SIZE][/FONT]
    <TABLE width="30%" border=0><TR bgColor=#ff9966>[FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1] 11 to 12 years[/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]can use an electric can opener [/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]learn how to use a microwave [/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]prepare simple recipes with very little help from an adult[/SIZE][/FONT]
    <TABLE width="30%" border=0><TR bgColor=#ff9966>[FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1] 13 to 14 years[/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]use the oven; can learn how to use oven mitts and where to place the hot dish after it is taken out of the oven [/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]use a knife with supervision [/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]use a hand-held grater to shred ingredients (warn your child to keep his knuckles away) [/SIZE][/FONT]
    <TABLE cols=1 width="35%" border=0><TR bgColor=#ff9966>[FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1] 15 years and older[/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]make recipes with many ingredients [/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]use an electric mixer without supervision [/SIZE][/FONT]
    • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]prepare recipes without supervision (however, it is better if you are at home, while they prepare these dishes.[/SIZE][/FONT]
    </CENTER>
     
  9. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Can Your Kids Cook?

    How many of us parents have thought of teaching our children cooking as a means of helping to make them more independent? <!-- <center> -->[FONT=Arial,Helvetica][SIZE=-1]
    All parents strive to teach their children to be independent in various ways. Some send their children to boarding school or to college in another city or abroad, others try to help their children achieve independence by slowly giving them responsibilities and helping them fulfill them. Yet, how many of us have thought of teaching our children cooking as a means of helping to make them more independent?

    Teach daughters

    Parents often teach their daughters cooking because they still believe this is more of a woman�s job and that a woman will have to cook when she gets married and starts a family. Although teaching your daughter cooking is definitely a step in the right direction, try not to emphasise on it being a woman�s job, or that cooking for her family will play a more important role than any career she may take up. Do leave this choice up to her. It is possible that she gets married to a man who respects and admires career women, and would want his wife to be a corporate achiever rather than a housewife. If you bring her up in a very traditional environment you may regret doing so later. Many women also climb high up the corporate ladder before settling down, having children and giving up their jobs. So when you teach her cooking, don�t do so with the intention of turning her into a housewife and making her dependent. Instead, do so with the opposite intention in mind � of making her independent � so she doesn�t need to depend on maids or outdoor catering to fulfill her nutritional needs.
    Teach sons

    Similarly, don�t neglect teaching your sons cooking. Cooking is certainly not just a woman�s job � as has been proved time and again by the fact that many of the world�s best chefs are men � and many great cooks own fantastically successful restaurants around the world. Also, men tend to be passionate about food, and by teaching your son cooking he will be able to whip up his favourite meal without waiting for someone else to come and cook for him.

    Mothers often overlook the fact that it is very possible their sons or daughters go abroad to study, or may settle abroad, where they may not be surrounded by maids who will jump to do their every bidding. In such a case, your children will be at loose ends. Yes, they will learn when they have to, but it would help so much more if you teach them when you are around and they can learn with your guidance. Otherwise don�t be surprised if you spend most of your time constantly emailing, faxing or dictating recipes to your children halfway across the country � or world. Your children will then proceed to burn everything they try their hand at, lose heart a number of times, before finally mastering the art � and perhaps surpassing their master! But if you teach them now, you may spare them some heartache and a lot of hard work, later on.

    Don�t force your children if they are absolutely against cooking, but if you do find that they are open minded but perhaps just a little lazy, encourage your son and daughter to enter the kitchen more often. And if your son mocks cooking as being woman�s work, do him a favour, and discredit this notion at the outset. <!-- </center> --><!-- Article ends here -->[/SIZE][/FONT]
     
  10. meenu

    meenu Bronze IL'ite

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    :clap :clap :clap
    Dear Rajmiarun,
    I do agree that every person should be as independent as possible and cooking ones own food is a great leap towards it.
    Regards,
    Meenu
     
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