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Lessons Learnt From Marriage

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Mar 20, 2020.

  1. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Marriage lessons leartn from real life

    Being happily married is not easy. It needs a lot of patience and a lot of adjustment. When a woman marries she is not only married to a man but also to the family. Its the union of two families and it is in the hands of the woman to make the marriage successful.

    I was married at a time when parents used to believe that woman should adjust to the family they are married and once married they did not want their daughter to come back to their house. They are told whatever it is they should adjust and be a role model in the house. Since each family is different and we are brought up in a different manner in our house, it takes time to adjust and once we adjust then no problem to lead a happy life. First we have to know each one’s nature and be with them accordingly.

    Some come from a well to do family and if they are married to a family where they have to be economical it becomes difficult for them. Its necessary for them to adjust with them and be economical because of this they have differences. So better think before getting married to such a family so that they don’t have regrets later.

    As I was taught from childhood to adjust I did not find difficulty in doing that and was liked by everyone in my in law’s family. My sisters in law were very loving and give me respect We used to have some differences but that was only for a short time . For any functions everyone used to work like a team and outsiders always used to say your family is a Role Model to everyone. Our neighbors used to envy seeing all of us so happy. Whatever differences or fights are there in a family we should keep it among the four walls because one day there will be fight and the next day it will become alright. When there is any argument between the spouse they should not have it in front of the children because it might affect them.

    We should never go for looks because they are deceptive. We should always go for a person who has a good heart and makes us smile to make a dark day seem bright. The moments we spent with our special people have to be treasured. Most women are very fond of their sons and when the son gets married they feel insecure. So instead of worrying about that we should be happy that someone is

    there to worry about our husband and should not go in between them as the mother has the first right, then only the wife . Later the same wife becomes the mother and she will understand. Some sons like their mother’s cooking very much and if the wife is not so good in cooking they praise their mother’s cooking. Instead of worrying about that it is better to learn to cook well and one day mil will definitely appreciate her dil .

    7 Important things to have and give in your marriage:

    1 LOVE : The special feeling that makes you feel all warm and wonderful.

    2 RESPECT : Treating your spouse as you would like to be treated.

    3 APPRECIATION : To be grateful for all the good things your spouse does for you.

    4 HAPPINESS : The full enjoyment of each moment spent together with a smiling face.

    5 FORGIVENESS: The ability to let things be without anger.

    6 SHARING : The joy of giving without thoughts of receiving.

    7 HONESTY : The quality of always telling the truth
     
    Vaikuntha, kkrish, Giri12 and 3 others like this.
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  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice pointers viji MA...
     
    iyerviji likes this.
  3. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    :frown::cry:
    We are evolving to be more humane; but it is a very slow process.
    Here is a video that was posted on the forum by Amica.

    Every Desi Bride's Wish ...
     
    iyerviji likes this.
  4. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    @iyerviji Vijima
    A very good post.

    This is what my parents also told me. I have followed it an it has given me much satisfaction and contentment in life.
    Adjustment does not mean giving up one's rights or becoming a slave. It is more of showing love, compassion, and friendship to our husband's family members. We never lose when we do this.
     
    joylokhi and iyerviji like this.
  5. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks dear
     
    Anusha2917 likes this.
  6. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks dear
     
  7. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Glad to get your feedback and to know your parents told you and you are following and it has given you satisfaction

    I agree with your second para
     
    kkrish likes this.
  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Vijiakka,

    Life lessons I have learned from my marriage are:

    1) My bond with my parents shouldn't interfere with the relationship I have with my wife.
    2) My dad told me to recognize the fact that I am inheriting another set of parents along with my wife.
    3) My wife is the only child and all she was looking for in her marriage is an extended family loving and caring.
    4) I realize I need to listen carefully and respectfully to what she had to say for a perfect harmony at home.
    5) Even small things I do have a profound impact on her mind as she is watching my actions all the time.
    6) My wife is not going to listen if anyone were to say things about me which are incorrect even if I am ready to forgive them.
    7) Our relationship is unique and no one else has a role to play in it.
    8) There are so many life skills to learn from her.
    9) If she is upset with me, she prefers to be left alone and is constantly working her way back to normalcy.
    10)If she is wrong, she recognizes it soon and expects me to do the same quickly.
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2020
    iyerviji and BhumiBabe like this.
  9. dharmastick

    dharmastick Senior IL'ite

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    It's nice to have read of your learning from Marriage. Appreciate one another
     
    iyerviji likes this.
  10. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    You are made for each other and your wife is blessed to have you
     

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