Left, Right And Centre

There are days when one starts questioning one's own identity, one's own convictions. One is not sure what to make of all that happens in the world, raising a storm in the 'antarman'. There you go. I am sure that one word should give you an indication of the confusion in my mind. I still do not know at this ripe old age (at least I feel that way when I feel exhausted by the goings on around me) which world I belong to.

It is said that long term memory grows better with age, while the short term memory starts playing truant. So let me start my story at the very beginning - something I can well relate to and relate better to my audience.

I was born in a middle, middle class, South Indian household, grew up in Maharashtra, spoke a variety of Tamil (Palakkad Tamil) with my parents at home and in English when talking to my sister (and later to her kids, my bil, his siblings). My language outside the house was Marathi and English - again depending on whom I was talking to. I ate traditional Kerala fare at home, loved Maharashtrian food and gradually grew very fond of North Indian fare as I started discovering their dishes. Later on in life I grew to love international fare (provided it was vegetarian). Confession: I am an avowed foodie. My parents preferred traditional food but used to indulge my cosmopoliton tastes. To the extent that once when I was curious about what fish tasted like, my mom told me she would request our neighbours to invite me to their place to try it out ..... an offer I did not accept, thanks to a certain convincing explanation she gave me for our being vegetarians (that was when I was about 4).

When it came to marriage, they never forced the matter on me though they were certainly anxious. Any rebellious question was met with an answer that convinced me of their take on the matter. Rationality was one of the basic qualities that was ingrained in me from childhood through example (not to deny the occasional questions which were answered with a "we never asked our parents such questions ..... we did as we were told" - not that it worked with me).

They were moderately religious - dad did his poojas, mom helped with the peripherals whenever it was required of her, we were taught to pray but it was not rammed down our throats. We participated in the prayer meetings of our neighbours are Brahmo Samajists - in fact they did the last prayers for both my parents, we did not do the traditional rituals. In school, I was fascinated by the Christian prayers, chapel (though only Christians were allowed to participate in their Cathecism classes - all others had to attend moral science classes. I found it thoroughly unfair then - I loved visiting the chapel - but today I can see why it was forbidden). My grandpa used to be amused and refer to me as the pious Christian Satchi. Later on in life dad took me to attend Gita lectures by Swami Chinmayananda and that was a turning point in my life in that, I, who never enjoyed and still do not particularly dig visiting temples for religious purposes (certainly love the architecture, love visiting them for a bit of peace or if they are in the lap of Nature) found our philosophy very meaningful and comforting.

So today I ask myself, were we leftists or rightists or moderates? My suspicion - nay, my conviction - is that we were the last. They were liberal but not so liberal either to let me enter, say, into a live-in relationship. That would have been an overdose for them. Today, I would not bat an eyelid at younger kids who choose to be in one. I always exercised my liberty to express my opinions freely, even if they found them shocking or unacceptable.

Even so, it was a traditional society (by today's standards) that I grew up in. I remember hoping that women in the future would be more emancipated, that rules and regulations would grow laxer with the passing years. Today, though, I am often left speechless at what I see around me. The extreme intolerance - on both sides - in any issue, be it political. religious or social is extremely distressing. I might agree on certain points of one side while I might disagree with them on other issues ..... the same applying to the other side, but if I (and when I say "I", it applies to everybody living in these times) express an opinion, I become either a 'Pseudo-Liberal' or a 'Bhakt'. I can no longer be "I" with opinions of my own which need not necessarily be polarized. The only guarantee in these times for expressing oneself freely is that one will be trolled by one side or the other. No one wants to listen with an open mind. (Open mind??? Pray, what is that???) Disagreeing politely seems to have gone out of fashion. Name calling, abuses and threats to female relatives are the order of the day and have replaced civil, social discourse. They are an indicator of 'belonging' and 'coolness quotient'. If one wants to avoid all these, one must keep quiet. Is silence a virtue? Did not the Bhagwad Gita tell us that not standing up for the truth is also a crime/sin? But then what is the truth? We seem to be living in a post-truth era, whatever that might mean. Even the truth does not seem to be absolute, and until we figure it out, we can flounder in this Bhavasagara - an ocean of confusion.

So shut up or speak? That is the dilemma. Most of the times I believe in the old maxim 'Silence is Golden', but fear that it is that very silence that allows injustice to prosper.

 

Thanks a ton, Sabitha.

This reminded me of the famous quote by Gandhiji:

“I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the culture of all lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any”

Today we have people who either want to dig deeper into that house, shut all doors and windows tightly and celebrate their own greatness or we have others who would open it up to all and sundry, allowing them to move in and displace the inhabitants along with their original ways of life.

 

Dear Viswa,

I will certainly start off by saying "Your post made for very interesting reading" given that it is one more perspective on the topic. :-D

I agree, while it might be easy being liberal intellectually, ingrained ideas may make it a bit more difficult for us to come to terms in our own lives. But there are two points here:

1. Even if it is our own near and dear ones, we might be unhappy, uncomfortable, whatever. But would we cut off ties completely with them? Maybe the degree of emotional involvement may suffer but at some point we might learn to 'live and let live'. Our own expectations of them will be decreased. We would need to learn genuine acceptance in this case.

2. If it is not our kith and kin and if we can be 'liberal', it would be good to the extent that we can stop being judgmental or discriminatory. At least in this case it should not cost us anything to let others live their own lives, their own ways.

The question is would we go to the other extreme of killing off folks who do not toe the line of our beliefs?

As for 'telling it as it is' that is not such a bad thing, but being downright 'rude' is totally uncalled for. One can do the former without doing the latter.

Hence the question.

Thanks a lot, Viswa, for your response.

 

Balajee, it is indeed worrying that governments (irrespective on which side of the line they are) seem to be arresting people left, right and centre for even the most innocuous jokes, let alone criticism of any kind. What is more worrying is the way people abuse others in the foulest of languages - the latest is saying 'go, die'. I have never heard such stuff EVER in our political history. Or abusing others for posting their opinions or their for their beliefs - the 'ma-behen gaalis', rape threats etc. Really? Is that what we have come down to? The women are not even concerned in the disagreement, proving thereby that we are coming to an era where women are nothing more than possessions to be snatched, ruined, killed ..... Or celebrating the death of any disliked politician openly on social media. Or talking ill of politicians after they are dead.

Talking of religion with irreverence, I don't remember jokes (polite, clean ones) ever being a cause of offence in the past. So what has changed now. The only thing I can see is that the extreme position of one side while taking off on the other has pushed that side to become equally staunch, rigid and unreasonable. This is where the question arises - what happened to the middle line?

On the other hand if one expects some tolerance towards irreverence, criticism (BTW when did constructive criticism breathe its last?) one also expects them to exercise some restraint in the language they use.

As for silence, I do agree, the right to constructive criticisms is one of the signs and requirements of a healthy democracy. But criticism for the sake of it, just because one hates the (leader of the) government and wants to pull them down for no reason other than to grab power is nothing but despicable. That is irresponsibility of the worst kind.

 

:-D That is why I resent calling anyone a dog or the female of that species.

Another thing I resent is people saying things like "chudiyaan pehen ke ghar mein baitho" or "napunsak jaisi baatein na karo". Why insult entire genders, when a certain undesirable action/quality is a very individual trait? These kind of slurs must be wiped out of every language.