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leaving child at my parents

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by saisai, Jan 15, 2011.

  1. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    I get your point True.

    You worry about the pain the mother goes through. A mature adult can somehow deal with the pain. What about the little one?
     
  2. snehamurali

    snehamurali New IL'ite

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    I've always been a proponent of letting my child stay with my parents in India but after my dad had a stroke it made me realize that parents are getting old and its a lot of work taking care of a baby.

    They've already gone through the raising a baby and should not go through it again with grandchildren unless all of us are living together.

    My 2 cents.
     
  3. flower2

    flower2 New IL'ite

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    hi ladies, i am new to this forum. i have the same problem.both me and my husband are working and i am studying as well. i am planning to leave my child with my parents in india. i know this is heart rending on a mother specially . however my husband is not a very co-operative person. so i have no other option. i wanted to know if there will be any kind of hassle from the consulate or immigration people in leaving my child with my parents. i see here that many women have been doing this so i guess there is no legal problem. I am in a very desperate situation and this is my only ray of hope. please help in this ladies. thanks.
     
  4. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    Because the baby cant speak for itself you can do anything you want. If someone else is unfair we can explain but you are a mommy. I dont know what your situation is...but one is is a fact...BABY ALWAYS NEEDS MOMMY.
     
  5. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    Hey Billy,

    You know so much about careers...wish you knew how the kid feels...............*sigh*. If there is a will there is a way and how hard it is for a other to find a way to raise her own child. This 'deporting' thing only exists in Indian community as you have a chance to easily get away with it. There are so many single moms and dada around who are struggling yet succeeding. I am not here to raise an argument...I just wish people would NEVER consider this as an option....I wish...........
     
  6. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Its heart wrenching for a mother to be away from her baby. I am sure flower2 has her reasons for doing what she is choosing to do and some decisions are really not that easy. Lets us not make her feel worse....
    Coming to ur question..Where was the child born?
    If the child is a US citizen then if u plan to leave the kid in India for more than 6 months here is what u need to do.Apply for a PIO card and once u get it take the baby along with the PIO card to the commissioner's office .They will grant u an extension . Not a big deal.
    If the child is an Indian citizen you should not have any problem.
    Take care
     
  7. rojamalar

    rojamalar Junior IL'ite

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    Why have a child if you can't raise her/him? It is lot of responsibility for the grand parents and you will miss the fun of watching the child grow up and it is sad for both you and your child.
     
  8. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    I think that this is a very personal thing and is to be decided among you, DH and the GPs concerned. This is a very sensitive issue and you will get a lot of strong opinions from people you discuss this with. It is something like breastfeeding vs. formula, SAHM vs. working mom etc. Do what you feel is best for your family. Check with the GPs as to whether there is no issue, and make sure that you and DH do not breathe down on their necks with micromanagement reg the baby.
    My cousin had to stay with his GPs for a year when he was a toddler, as his mom and dad both had to work long hours to pay off their house. It was very difficult for his parents, but they decided that they had no other go. He is a teenager now and they are a very close-knit family. He does not even remember being left with GPs. So it does not necessarily imply that this will affect the child in the long run-case by case again.

    If you feel that the baby should remain with you, I am sure you can find ways to solve your problem if you think hard and try some options. Nothing is impossible. Difficult, but not impossible.
    GL!
     
    sindmani likes this.

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