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leaving child at my parents

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by saisai, Jan 15, 2011.

  1. Confused211

    Confused211 Gold IL'ite

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    I know a couple of friends who did their residencies while with babies. They hired a nanny/sent kid to daycare. Could your parents come and stay for 6 months, then your husband's for 6 more, and rotate? Cutting through all the anger on her about your post, what everyone really is saying is that it isn't good for your baby, nor you, really. You're a doctor, you know it! Don't do it unless you've explored all options.
     
  2. billybob

    billybob Gold IL'ite

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    usually maternal GP feel obligated to help out daughter, if paternal GP are interested I would not have any objection. if both the spouses are in the same place yes there is no excuse, but not in every case, in some specialities, day starts at 5-6 in the morning and ends late in the evening especially in surgery on the top of it 24 hour call schedules. Quiet often both the spouses cannot find residency spots in the same place. You cannot give an excuse that your child is sick, someone has take your load of being on call 24 hours in house or a 12 hour shift. It is better not to judge when women send their children to grandparents unless your are their place. Someone has to sacrifice or have drive to do what they have to do, for rest of us. You cannot put off residency for years, if your are not Career oriented it is difficult to be in medical field. This applies to other professions also like army and navy. Kids grow up equally good if they are raised by loving parents, grand parents or adopted parents. When you need emergency care for your child, parent or yourself some one needs to work 24 hours or at night, physician, nurse, lab technician or even an IT professional.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2011
  3. lakshmisree11

    lakshmisree11 New IL'ite

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    It seems OP is not at all viewing the replies for her query. I think as decided by her, she already made her mind to leave the kid...
     
  4. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    Better not to have kids, when u know that u can not have time for them. Child will grow up,eventually, with or without loving and dedicated parents. But shying away from child rearing responsibilities citing hectic schedule is pretty lame, IMO.
     
  5. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    ladies, dont waste your time. OP has not come back to respond...
     
  6. juliana123

    juliana123 New IL'ite

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    so sad that the person who asked a question has not replied, looks like she already decided !!!
    but the ladies here at Indus ladies are doing their best to give ideas and suggestions..
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2011
  7. billybob

    billybob Gold IL'ite

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    Well that means women need not have careers, do not waste seats in professional colleges, since men never stop anything for their careers.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2011
  8. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    No. That means prospective parents (husband and wife), planning their family life carefully. It is not just about mother;Father is equally responsible.
     
  9. rose8282

    rose8282 Platinum IL'ite

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    I think some posters were really rude to OP.So what if it is the 100th time you are seeing this question? This must be OP's first question here.Members ask questions not to be treated in this manner. They are asking for suggestions and you are not doing a favor by replying so.

    In my opinion,I think women,especially doctors or other such high end professions where one has to study crazy,have to choose between careers or babies. It becomes really difficult because then you don't know when you are into a residency...how many years it takes to get it,after that there are on call duties. Are you going to attend the patient in the emergency room in the middle of the night...or attend to your crying baby then?So suppose you delay planning for a baby,it becomes slightly difficult in terms of conceiving.But that's a compromise one has to make. As much as a mother feels the pain of her baby,a doctor feels the pain of having a degree and not being able to practice due to various reasons.

    This is not so in other professions,where you can at least manage to juggle,for those who wish to do so.I ask the ladies here...how many of you manage both your careers and babies?yes..there must be some..but I wouldn't imagine them to be so harsh:-(

    Plus it is not just TTC ladies in problems..there are people who have other issues too..it is not to say that their issue is small,is it?


    Having said the above....either you start your family late or try day cares,pool up with other women who are in the same situation as you so that you can take turns to manage the kids,search for stay at home ladies who are willing to take care of your kids during the day. (of course with pay).My cousin sister does the same..she used to leave her kid with a friend of hers..now she has a second baby so she called her mother first,now MIL.

    A little patience,a little adjustment and a little help here and there and we women can
    handle it:thumbsup

    I know I might face flak for what I wrote...but I don't care..I'm really pissed off with the
    angry/harsh replies that are dished out at people who come to ask for opinions.And although I know OP may not see this,my reply is for those who have similar problems,but may not ask due to obvious reasons.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2011
    2 people like this.
  10. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    I concur with Rose. We can always give opinions without being rude.
     

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