leaving child at my parents

i have tried to stay away from similar posts after just 1 try, but repeated posts of same nature is getting too much to bear to not react.
though i am not a fan of the parents not raising their own kids, i can somehow understand some drastic situations where that is deemed necessary, as in the parents cant just afford to look after the kid due to physical or extreme financial reasons or when kids are a bit more grown up, sending them to boarding school, becuause there is no educational oppurtunities where they live. i cant find sense in just dumping the kids in boarding school just for ease of life for the parents too.

But in this case, the parents are not ready to go the extra mile to put in a bit of extra effort & planning to continue their wants/ambitions & taking care of their own child whom i guess they made a consious decision to bring into this world.
its not just about bonding , will you have peace of mind living so far away while your kid has a cold/fever in india? atleast if you send the kid to daycare here, you get to see him/her end of the day & know first hand how the kid feels & is growing.

 

Bad idea. But i know, many couples who have done that. A friend of mine has 2 small kids and both are staying with her parents. She and her hubby stay oversees and are very busy in their career aspirations! Never noticed, any kind of guilt or regret from her. I guess some people are okay with such set up.

 

There you go OP. Here atlast after 23 posts, is the validation that you were looking for.

 

I agree with Capros follow your instincts. Many people who have posted here have no idea as how difficult it is to take boards and then go through 60-80 hours a week of training.

 

Ideally mom and baby should be together but sometimes grandparents initiate the idea of keeping grandkids to facilitate their childs life and make it easier for them.
Sometimes even STAH moms leave their kids with nannies /ayahs and go shopping , partying etc.
No use crying over split milk , but family planning was needed earlier , now the couple has to make the best of it.

 

Saisai,

Have you looked in to other options like leaving your child at day care etc? I understand it can get expensive but its worth to have the baby with you. I am not going to judge you for taking this decision but I really urge you to look into other options like day care or getting a full time nanny etc.
Once the baby is here, obviously your routine is going to change. Your DH or you should not expect that nothing will come in between your routine.

You are taking the easy way out by sending your baby to India. By the time you would bring her back, she would be a big and you would have missed every milestone of her's.

I also understand that studying to be a doctor in US is very difficult and you hardly have time to even have lunch. However, since its your baby, I think you should explore your options like keeping your career on hold for 2 years or so or get a full time nanny even though its expensive.

So, please explore other options too.

 

ok so where did she disappear offf to after starting this controversial thread? anyways to each his own, if u can live with it go ahead do it, don't look for validation from others. raising a kid is a 24/7 job, if u think u won't be able to invest the amt of time reqd. then u need to explore other options...are ur inlaws ok with u sending the child to maternal grandparents..weigh in all possible situations that mit arise out of this arrangement, & then decide.

 

Why does she need inlaws approval? It is between her and DH.

 

billybob, i know she doesn't need anyone's approval but IL's being IL"s would butt in nonetheless, saying why not trust the child with us,'are we less equipped to handle than the maternal grandparents?'
i've seen & heard such crap so was forewarning of the possibility

 

I wonder if the original poster is still active and checking this thread. I don't see a response after the first question that was posted. Maybe she made her decision.