1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Lazy irresponsible Brother-in-law is a big burden...Pls help!

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by rupac, Mar 14, 2014.

  1. rupac

    rupac New IL'ite

    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Hi all...
    so
    I have been happily married to the nicest person on earth for over 6 years , has 2 beautiful children. But the problem is my husband's only sibling (his younger brother) says "he doesn't want to work!.." he wants to direct a film etc..,"

    All his age group are being so responsible & are well settled with nice jobs and getting married & even buying small properties with the help of their jobs...But this guy is so peculiar says" he can't sit in the office from 9 till 5 & wait for a month to be salaried" ... From over 6+ years my hubby looks after all his expenses, travel, food, rent, partying,etc.,

    After millions of arguments with my hubby , he somehow reduced sending money, (though not stopped fully) Even their parents told him many times and the answer from them is: ("we told him many times but he don't like to do a job, what can we do?"

    After few years of continuos wasting time , he said "
    he'll start some business & stuff" and "he then bought a brand new car for loan 15- 17 lac rupees( god knows which bank has come forward)
    saying that " he will be well respected in the society and may make good business"
    by having a car...And then slowly he bought all the Apple products (such as, laptop, phones etc..,)
    One day he said "I'll do some IT business" Because my hubby is a developer, he has to set up a website for his business and etc.., he gives work to hubby where he does all this extra work after coming from his day job...
    Atleast he don't do the business thing properly & within days he says" I want to do another business , Get the website ready for me!" and my hubby starts working on it nights long without sleep....
    His linkedin page says Director/CEO of the company!
    he don't know anything about anywork.....There's no stability in his work at all....

    When I ask my hubby ... why cant you teach him what you are doing & how long will you do for him...why not he do his job? and we all need your time?
    well
    the answer is:"I'm not sending enough money these days, at least let me do this, so he can get the money from the business!"..." he don't want to learn anything, i can't force him!"

    He now asks to send
    at-least 50k per month as his expenses for maintaing the cars reaching skies, he also has few credit cards & he explains every vegetable price ( like onions , dal, oil , these prices are even growing higher etc...,)
    Not even a phone call or in an email he never asks about his health or his sleep...he dont care about his brother, he 's just using my hubby .......

    When we don't call for a month or so, " he emotionally says , why are you not calling us? whats wrong with you, did u forget us, mother is crying bla bla bla"

    If he don't want to work for anyone,thats fine!
    why can't he start something and focus on it until he earns stable income...now this guy wants to marry his girlfriend in the next months? I say my hubby how can he marry without income...i mean how can he run a family without a job......meaning, its a new expense for us again.........then both argue...fight verbally...cry....

    Please kindly help me, please give us a relief, Experienced persons pls answer!..I need your help...(I never spoke to my brotherinlaw directly about all this...I just say Hi, Bye)
    My questions:::
    1) Why can't my hubby say him to work strongly? how to make him work?

    2) I tell him to help him , when he is really working hard, u know when he's being responsible? How can he become a responsible person? He's getting ready for marriage now...god know wat happens next!

    3) How on earth does a Man don't have feelings to work? is it a disease? How long do this drama last?

    4) His parents , my hubby , why can't they be rude to him?

    I'm frustrated , pls help me deal this situation smoothly.
    Pls give me ideas........
     
    Loading...

  2. Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    999
    Likes Received:
    820
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    After reading your above post, i felt I was reading my friends story..same situation..but in her case, parents were also responsible for their younger son's attitude . They were always saying, my son is very inocent (per my friend, he was talking to his GF whole night and sending expensive gifts), how he can survive in outside world. My friend had really tough time but finally some how she convenced her DH to not to support his brother (actually she reminded her his tough time when he was job less). She also said in diplomatic way 'what if due to some reason our earning will be less, we will not be able to send money... your brother will also have his family. How his wife will feel etc'. She also convenced her DH to buy a flat on EMI which was consuming his half of salary so less money to send. Though they still send some money to parents on regular basis but not for brother. It took almost 3 years but finally his brother started working his own hard earned money.
     
  3. RedRuby

    RedRuby Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,060
    Likes Received:
    1,389
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear OP, i felt very familiar when i read your post and discoverd that you postet this thread three times in different sections... please avoid that in future, it feels like contempt and depreciation to the ones whom thoughtfully replied and put energy and time in the try to help you out with suggestions, plus it is honestly a bit confusing.

    To everyone: Im not sure if im the only one but i feel recently somehow like having frequent deja vu experiences when reading posts.. sometimes something is added, lil changes or twists or just something cut away.. this is not nice and a clear answer to some threads with "lack of replies"... ppl dont like waste their time.
    If you feel like you postet a thread in wrong section please ask the mods to change it, they will surely be so friendly and help out.

    Sorry for distraction and interferring in something not being my business i just felt like speeking my thoughts about that out as i wastet my time reading several threads who turned out same recently.
     

Share This Page