Latest Cool Definations

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by daffodil, Jan 27, 2008.

  1. daffodil

    daffodil Bronze IL'ite

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    Divorce :

    Future tense of marriage.

    Cigarette :

    A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

    Lecture :

    An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

    Conference :

    The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

    Compromise :

    The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

    Tears :

    The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...

    Dictionary :

    A place where success comes before work.

    Conference Room :

    A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

    Classic :

    A book which people praise, but do not read.

    Smile :

    A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

    Office :

    A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

    Yawn :

    The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
    Etc. :
    A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

    Committee :

    Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

    Experience :

    The name men give to their mistakes.

    Atom Bomb :

    An invention to end all inventions.

    Philosopher :

    A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

    Diplomat :

    A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

    Opportunist :

    A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

    Optimist :

    A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

    Miser :

    A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

    Father :

    A banker provided by nature.

    Criminal :

    A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

    Boss :

    Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

    Politician :

    One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

    Doctor :

    A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

  2. Moonbeams

    Moonbeams Bronze IL'ite

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