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Lack of Hygeine

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by DKI, Sep 16, 2014.

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Sep 17, 2014 #31

Reesha Silver IL'ite

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two options are there;

1. while taking dinner start like a chit chat with your hubby about your doctor friend 's MIL habits & your friend feeling towards it & how it is unhealthy for family so on.....hear

your friend= you
friends MIL=your's MIL

2. prepare article of your own & take out printout like a news paper or online article about your MIL habits dos & don'ts. just read to DH about that in front of MIL.

Reesha, Sep 17, 2014

Reesha, Sep 17, 2014

#31

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Sep 17, 2014 #32

JigsSM Silver IL'ite

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mg: i cannot handle this kind of things in my home. Few things happened with my MIL as well and i ignored few times but later on i had guts and told her upfront. I think when we are staying together this things should be taken care of. It looks so yucks. I really cannot imagine your situation how you have handled it. If i would had been there i would had directly told at same time. :bang

JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014

JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014

#32
Sep 17, 2014 #33

DKI Platinum IL'ite

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parvathi1980 said: ↑

Its ok. We Indians use our hands for everything. Have you ever eaten rice with hands? I don't think these issues are so big!
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Parvathi,

I am Indian. I have no issues with anybody eating with hand. What I have issues with is eating with your hand and then touching the food that is for EVERYBODY with your dirty hand. I doubt anybody will tolerate that.

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

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Sep 17, 2014 #34

DKI Platinum IL'ite

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Shina said: ↑

Consider your MIL ur greatest weight loss motivator/buddy.

Another motivation from mil for you to visit the weight loss thread here called indian lunch ideas sans rice. Tag ur mil as ur weight loss buddy i say.

Hey all good suggestions have been already covered by other posters here so just thought to cheer u up.
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Shina,

As it is I always say that when in-laws visit the only advantage is that I manage to lose weight more easily. But the main reason for that in the past is that neither of them liked to see me sit down.

As for meals sans rice - I WOULD LOVE THAT!!!- but they are both rice eaters. And no matter what I make, rice has to be there...even if DH, DS, and I just want sandwiches, rice has to be there.

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

#34
Sep 17, 2014 #35

DKI Platinum IL'ite

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Reesha said: ↑

two options are there;

1. while taking dinner start like a chit chat with your hubby about your doctor friend 's MIL habits & your friend feeling towards it & how it is unhealthy for family so on.....hear

your friend= you
friends MIL=your's MIL

2. prepare article of your own & take out printout like a news paper or online article about your MIL habits dos & don'ts. just read to DH about that in front of MIL.
Click to expand...

Subtlety never works with her. She has what I call selective understanding. And for the next few weeks, I will do ANYTHING to avoid any kind of drama.

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

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Sep 17, 2014 #36

DKI Platinum IL'ite

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coolsandy said: ↑

There are few people who have such habits but the moment we tell them, they would understand. But in cases like yours, forget about understanding us, they wouldn't even listen to us. EGO,

One day when the rice got spoilt by evening, she asked me how come even though she had kept it in the fridge it spoilt...and how come when I put food away it does not. I told her simply that its because I don't use my hands as hands have a tendency to make the fermentation process faster. She immediately said o no I never do that. I kept quiet, but wondered to myself "How come the container with the rice has imprints of fingers"

Does your MIL watch TV? Or youtube videos?? May be you can google for some videos or documentaries which specifies a lot about hygiene esp in India. Ypu need not specifically tell her to watch it but may be you can indirectly ask her to watch it. She might get uncomfortable while watching those, and she might utter something... but atleast there is a chance that she might get the point.
The only thing my MIL watches is Tamil serials and movies. No matter what else we put, she will either keep on asking to change it to her liking or she gets up and goes away.

#TryYourLuck
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I am at least glad that my FIL is the opposite. He keeps everything super clean and is extremely hygeinic. So have to only deal with one and not two.

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

#36
Sep 17, 2014 #37

DKI Platinum IL'ite

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Akanksha1982 said: ↑

Yukky!!

Move to different ingredients for yourself, dh and ds like brown rice or quinoa. I eat only quinoa. DH and DS eat only parboiled rice. FIL and MIL only eat long grain rice.
They will not like either and stay with rice for themselves. Get low fat yogurt for your family. They will not like low fat and let them stick to plain yogurt. Same with milk etc.

I make my yoghurt at home. Unfortunately nobody at home likes low-fat. Especially DS. He doesn't even like 2%! But that's what I make the yoghurt with

See if you can serve her instead of her serving herself. Use smaller serving spoons.

That is never a problem. FIL and MIL usually will wait patiently at the table UNTIL I serve them. These issues happen the few times I am still at the stove making something or doing some other work and they are eating.

Just throwing some ideas. not sure which will work.

About putting hands in spices and using hands to taste food, i have seen that of some of my guests visiting here. i totally hate it. They insists on cooking. Eventually, i tell my DH and he will take them out during the cooking time.

I am that way too. And maybe that's why when we have guests over, I usually tell them to just rest, relax, and at the most give me company while I cook. My good friends now know me well enough to know that where cooking is concerned, I prefer to run solo.

Click to expand...

Thanks for your ideas though!

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

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Sep 17, 2014 #38

hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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DK1
One of my SILs does the same

Thankfully I always had the habit of the small curd box for the next day curd - so I always have backup for the curd!!!

And I tell her to relax or go for a walk or talk with my son, and I'll make the buttermilk for you

And I am always the dutiful SIL - I smilingly serve the food for her, I keep everything on the plate, I ask her what she wants next !!!

And if by chance, I miss and she manages to "defile" something, I ensure that I remove that item into a separate dabba and serve it back only to her

And luckily - her rice is separate - so I keep a separate vessel in cooker - and she handles it as she likes - and keeps leftovers as she likes!!

If I have to go out, I keep the dal/curry/sabji/rasam etc in different cups separately for her, and keep the rest inside the fridge and say - see I've served for you, I have to go out, please have lunch at the right time - you're diabetic na!!!

I definitely wash the sheets, check the window sills, behind curtains after she leaves (there'll be food items sometimes!)

PS - I'm not always sweet - sometimes I do speak up - hopefully it is when DH is there, so he takes it up and continues

Or else I have to tell jokes and do lot of buttering and surprise gifting to make her smile .. In other matters, she's a helpful lady and I do have a good relationship with her - so this is the "adjustment" I do to keep peace

I do make lot of pasta and pizza and paneer items and fried rice for me and my son when she's here !! She cant eat them and Brother and sister can enjoy rice and do what they want and DS and my food is safe

hrastro, Sep 17, 2014

hrastro, Sep 17, 2014

#38

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Sep 17, 2014 #39

DKI Platinum IL'ite

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I think I replied to somebody else with similar suggestions...but here goes

SGBV said: ↑

Be the extra nice DIL and serve her foods until she is with you. I hope it is not so long...

I am the person I am - rather how I was brought up - serve the elders before sitting down. I usually serve them every round, because they are the typical FIL and MIL who expect their DIL to serve them everything. The self service happens when I am busy doing something else. And wondering what they do when I am at work!

Do the cleaning, and packing so that she doesn't get to handle the dabbas.
I do the cleaning and packing when I am at home. I work outside the house 3 days a week. So its those 3 days that I usually come home to see all the sides of the containers wiped with hands.

By little cups of yogurt for everyone, so that no one needs to share.
I make my yoghurt at home. Unfortunately none of us likes store bought yoghurt. And after the last instance, I started keeping the yoghurt in smaller containers so that it gets used in one sitting.

Dont bring the rice cooker to the dining table. Put the rice to a bowl and let her manage. If she put rice back to the bowl, then serve it to FIL or anyone, but not for you/DH/DS. Leave your portions in the rice cooker and take them only when you eat.

She has issues with glass bowls. "scared to hold them" Plus as I mentioned elsewhere DH, DS, and I don't eat the same rice as they do. But its more the general principle and common sense not to do such things that irks me.

Have separate spoons at reachable place. So that she uses them instead of hand.

Also, casually tell her it is not right. Make sure you tell that infront of DH and FIL. Repeat your advice whenever she repeats the same yukky
DRAMA!! TEARS!! Threats of dying. Ah! I think I will super watchful till they leave.
t
Click to expand...

And to your question of how many days - less than 50.

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

#39
Sep 17, 2014 #40

DKI Platinum IL'ite

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parvathi1980 said: ↑

By the way I have seen a lot of contestants in Masterchef Australia using their hands to taste the food they cook. NO one raises an eyebrow! We Indians are known for not using spoons so what is the big deal...yes scratching is a problem. Your mil could be having some skin problem...take her to the dr. Please show some sympathy!
Click to expand...

Believe me...I enjoy watching those food network shows because I like to learn new techniques and it gives me lots of ideas on how to make different dishes (I substitute all the meat and eggs with vege stuff ). BUT - I would never be able to eat any of the stuff they make even if it was pure veg for this exact reason.

As somebody mentioned earlier - no clue what happens in a restaurant - but then what I don't know will not hurt me.

Same way, my MIL probably has been doing this all the time, but its because I saw it that now I cannot digest it.

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

DKI, Sep 17, 2014

#40

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