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Lack of Hygeine

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by DKI, Sep 16, 2014.

  1. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    I had seen my MIL do something once before many years ago. Thought that it was a one time thing, and being newly married, did not open my mouth.

    These are the things my MIL has been doing (not all on one day, but the last item made me want to scream and hence this post)

    1) She took rice from her plate and put it back in the dish. If this was rice that was put on round one, I might be ok. But she had finished eating sambar rice, and when she put rice for curd, it was too much for her, so she coolly used her right hand and put the extra back in the rice cooker!

    2) After eating anything on the table - breakfast of bread, evening biscuits/snacks - if any crumbs are left on the table she just throws it on the ground

    3) She uses her hand to clean the sides of all the containers (the inside of the container - sambar, curry, curd etc). Maybe this is also ok, and I just don't like it because its something that my mother never did. So this I totally ignore, but due to this I rush to clear the table and keep everything in the fridge.

    4) This was kind of a repeat of #1. Two days ago she put rice for herself. Again this happened after the sambar rice was over and she was taking rice for curd. Using her right hand, she scraped the rice from the spoon and put it in her plate. I know she knows that it is not something that is done, because she did it when she thought nobody was looking (I was talking to FIL and son was finished with food).

    5) This is the one that has me wanting to puke and thinking whether anything I eat now is clean or not. Sunday night she sat for dinner. She took some curd and made it into buttermilk for herself. She drank straight out of that container, and what was left over she poured back into the main curd dabba. I was aghast and disgusted. DS had not yet had curd and when he said he did not want any, I did not force it on him. Luckily none of us were home yesterday for food, so they finished that curd themselves. I had already kept some curd aside to make a new batch. And this time what I did was make it in small dabbas that would get used in one meal, so that I did not have to even fear whether or not she had done the same thing again.

    I don't point these things out to her since it will become a full blown mega-serial with tears and fainting and claims of being sick for the next few days. But since that last instance, I am quite upset.
     
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  2. rathiprasad

    rathiprasad Silver IL'ite

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    Sunday night curdsville horrors?
     
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  3. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    Curdsville horror that I witnessed. Who knows what else is going on.

    As they say sometimes I think "Ignorance is Bliss"
     
  4. padmaja909

    padmaja909 Platinum IL'ite

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    I truly sympathize with you. What she did or may be still doing is totally unhygienic. How can you continue like this always on the lookout. You have to find some solution for this. Can you just tell your DH quietly and let him talk to his mother?
     
  5. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    Padmaja, If I tell DH, he will blow a fuse. Not at me, but will go straight to his mother. And I don't want that. I have mentioned fictitious friends doing this and how I can't eat at their houses anymore...hoping to make her realize that I know.

    Anything we tell her to do differently, she uses the same phrase "I have always been doing this...DS had no issues earlier, wonder why now he is having issues with it"

    They don't live with me permanently, so I am going on. Additionally, the rice she eats and the rice we eat are different. She does not like the rice we eat so we buy separate rice for her to cook.
     
  6. anmolhai

    anmolhai Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh tell me about it ...have witnessed equally horrific hygiene habits from mil. I shudder even thinking about it.
     
  7. pantu

    pantu Gold IL'ite

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    In restaurant what the chef is doing behind curtain we don't know. Still we are going
    there. Yup ! ignorance is bliss. But try to explain her what she is doing is not right.
    It takes lots of indirect talks.
     
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  8. gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    oh man. Thats bad. The less you know, the better. Especially the last one..where she drank from the container and put it back!! Disgusting!
     
  9. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    DKI I have so much respect and admiration for you, you really try to keep peace in the house and work around your IL cause you know they will leave soon and if anything is mentioned or criticized then the crocodile tears come out. I think you deserve a big pat on the back for your patience and high levels of tolerance.
     
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  10. Anamika99

    Anamika99 Gold IL'ite

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    may be you want to try doing the same infront of ur DH,(when DS is not there but MIL is) and say sorry when he spots it...

    that way u established DH does not like it, and you are not the one you fed him this thought.

    if that is not a goo idea, may be try doign when MIL is around and see her reaction..if she asks you to stop doing it, say "you are right" and then spot her for the same next time.




    ======================

    My MIL is so super clean and consicous yet i do not like when she does certain things....
    1) to taste food she touches food a little bit with her finger and puts in her mouth...i prefer scooping it out with spoon to taste... and she does not even wash hands with soap afterwards.

    2) she puts her hands in spices to put in food when she is cooking...she says that is the only way she gets amount right, spoon measurement does not work... having hand little bit moist from previous hand wash or something...my salt starts to crumble... :(

    3) when she washes hands while cooking she does not wipes her hands with napkins and but does is on the side of her dres...

    i find all this yucky...wonder what would i do with habits like you MIL has...
     
    sindmani, drnamshara and Laks09 like this.

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