I love being around young folks. There is so much life around them. I have spent all my life surrounded by people years older than me. The occasional not so old persons around me seem to be mentally more aged or to be kind, a lot more mature than me! What am I to do? The young folks feel the same way about me as I feel about the people I just mentioned. They see me as half way to being a dinosaur! They don't notice the heart and brain inside which is still stuck at a few decades ago. Which makes me wonder! Why is it that I hardly feel very different in my mind than I did say when I was in my teens or twenties? Is it that mentally I have not grown up or is it that I too was old mentally when I was younger? Whichever way it be, there is that sense of continuity in those components of me, while I keep getting ruthlessly mauled by the body which is never in sync with the mind and heart! Or is something else at work here? Is this the immortal part of me which feels like it has always been the same? There are times of gloom when I wish I could vaporize but then feel that I can never get away as I will never die. I feel hopelessly immortal at such times. Leave alone the emotions associated with the feeling, what was that again? I am immortal? I shall never die? What about this body? Is this that part of me which is not my body alone speaking? Is this that entity which is eternal - the soul - which is never born and never dies that is being experienced? I don't know if anybody has felt this way at any point in time or whether I am just losing it. Have you felt you have always been there? Are there some vague memories - more in the form of feelings - that you can't make sense of, because it does not belong to an experience formed anytime during this life time? How do I describe that warm glow of happiness and general satisfaction I feel sometimes for no particular reason at all? Is this the real "I"? It is so wonderful to be in the presence of this person than the groaning, moaning, grouchy, dissatisfied, unhappy, angry person who only makes me want to run away and with whom I find it so hard to live. Why am I asking so many questions? Why don't I just learn to accept things as they are and get on with the task of existence? Oh well, no better reason to give than that "curiosity kills the cat". A physical extinction is better than dying of curiosity every minute. Knock, knock, who's there? Cat Cat who? Curiosity will kill you!