Kind of upset that hubby wants me to straighten hair

I know this is not a big deal in the scheme of things, but right now, I am kind of upset that hubby wants me to straighten my hair.

I appreciate the hair God gave me, it is thick and wavy. He says in India, straightening is fashionable, and he would like me to go for rebonding. When I explained him that rebonding uses chemicals that causes cancer, he didn't understand. And somehow, I still think he doesn't understand (or he is not convinced because several times, I am misinformed about many things myself, which is a topic for different thread)

After some back and forth about making adjustments in marriage, and about trying new things, etc, etc, he asked that I get my hair temporarily straightened and take a pic and post to Facebook so family and friends can see.

I really did not want this is escalate into World War III so I said that once he comes down here for good, he can come with me when I get my hair straightened by a family friend, and he can take photograph and post on Facebook. And while he is on Facebook, I will wash out the gunk and get my hair back to normal

Is straightening hair so fashionable in India? What happens if Bollywood actresses decide to cherish their God-given beautiful Indian hair? Then will we appreciate what God gave us? Are we all really followers of what mass media tells us?

I am really upset right now. For a while, I thought I was ugly because I wasn't getting matrimonial alliance, and now I realize it is society that is ugly, that makes women think they are ugly with what God has blessed them with (that is why they can make money off of straightening or curling irons, because if you have straight hair, you are ugly, you should get it curled, and if you have curly hair you are ugly you should have it straightened).

I mean, we should take care of our body, mind, and spirit, but I think it's really dumb to follow things because Bollywood, or Hollywood, or LaLaWood says we should do something.

Can you ladies give some advice, and your experiences. Do you think I am making a big deal of this? Do you think it is better that when hubby comes, I get hair straightened, let him take pic, then wash the gunk off? Is this something normal for hubbys to ask wifeys, especially when they are newly married? HELP!!!:drowning

 

I mean, he also insisted that I take few photographs with skinny jeans and high heels, and because those turned out beautiful, he is using the same logic here.

After I kept telling over and over that rebonding uses chemicals that cause cancer, he asked for straightening using hair iron just for few minutes.

I really don't want to do this, even though I told him I would once he comes here. And I am still really really really upset.

I just want to know how to back out of what I said because it is really bugging me, It's not the straightening part, even straightening temporarily which will wash right out, it's just that how is he thinking, how will it affect in the future? I mean, if temporary hair straightening is like wearing a pair of jeans, and then taking them off, I don't mind.

And the things is, a lot of times it is hard to convince him of certain things because I myself lack knowledge on certain things, so this looks like an uphill battle..... :-(

 

Yeah, I will tell him that I am upset and I don't want to do any sort of straightening and please never mention it again. I am too upset right now.

 

Actually, your post is making me feel little better

I mean, I love my hubby, the topic came up today. He mentioned rebonding and when I explained that I don't want to do it because it has chemicals that cause cancer, plus I am happy with my hair, we had this back-and-forth.

Well, if at-home straightening is like wearing a pair of skinny jeans and high-heels and then changing into something more comfortable, then I suppose I can live with that ....

I mean in marriage they say pick your battles, and try to accommodate one another, but I fear that hubby doesn't like the way I look, even though he says I am pretty, and I have a good heart. Perhaps we both have our insecurities we need to work through ........