Kids Playdate - How To Deal

Ok, so this is similar post. Post covid my 6 yr old her only few neighbors playdates, and they play almost everyday for 4-5 hours. There are times i want to avoid but kids arrive on door or force their moms.

I am friendly with all moms and kids, My issue is how to deal with few situations and how to teach my kids.
1. One kid boy is little violent. After some time of play, he starts hurting her. I know, being boy part of personality. I tell her you say 'no' to her this that, but kids they again start playing, and he keeps coming to our house. As long as they play nicely, no problem. Then if his parents are around, he starts throwing stuff on glass doors etc. But will not go, if we ask him. She rejects him that i won't play because she has to either play girl stuff with friend or because he is hitting he gets more aggressive. In his house, sometimes she goes and come back for same reason, but he will follow her.

2. A girlfriend she has - has super active personality according to her mom also, she does not like anyone any friend or anyone's house. She teaches some stuff to my kiddo, lets get icecream, ask your dad to bring cream, so my H who otherwise is super busy and keep kids in front of TV so they do not bother him, goes to get icecream. Lets play in ur room. I say 'no' as my younger one is sleeping and they disturb in. My daughter listens but she will keep arguing in front of son's door and he wakes up.
Then my daughter used some words 'freaking' ..how is he freaking doing this.. i was shocked. She had come from her house. We do not use this word, no one does.
My daughter told me - mom, you need to bring me new shoes. Shoes you bought for me are ugly. I bought her really cute shoes week ago. And with her friend, she wore excitedly, and she told her they are so ugly...
what....and she took those shoes off and wore some really uncomfy chappals to run around, that she has tripped on few times.

Now, in both cases, i do not want to stop her play dates, given she has so less chances and its learning for her.
She will gets boys teasing her for small things and other mean girls tell her this and that. I want her to be stronger and be confident about her opinions or decisions, specially for this silly stuff.
I remember dealing with such kids as child myself and always get irritated with boys teasing me and girls telling this or that.
I give examples to my daughter and tell her to say - its rude to say this ugly to someone's stuff, everyone has different liking, and opinion, we are different ...But it does hurt me little bit but i do not want her to be broken on such small things. I have lived in low confidence whole my life..
My parents did not pay attention to such small things. Then that time, kids fashion was nothing. Now kids wear all those branded stuff here... I want kids to be kids.