Kids and husband listen to in laws like puppets

best to have live in separate house ....with hubby and kids they will change

 

I am shocked that the kids behave like that with their mother. Looks like the whole family needs some family counseling by a good professional. I don't think other than professional counselors anyone else can give you any suggestions or advise. This is very delicate issue especially since kids are involved in this. Their whole mindset needs to be put on right track first else they can become extremely dangerous not only to the family but to the whole society too.
Tell your sister to first remain calm and seek professional help.

 

IMO, the problem lies here. Why did she left working if well educated?? She should have respected her education and others had respected her.

And she needs to put her foot down. Stop pleasing everyone and start living for her own as everyone else is doing..!!

 

Sound so ridiculous to me!!
Will people respect a woman only if she is working woman?? And, for her kids to respect her, does she have to pick up a job now??

 

There are two solutions to this:

1) Your sister needs to get out of the house and start afresh. Why put up with abuse? Why is she scared of her own kids? The next time they talk rubbish to her or physically hurt her, she should put them in their place. Same to the inlaws. Are they loud, do they physically hurt her? Call the women's help cell.

2) She needs to get to the root cause of the problem. Why do her inlaws hate her? Why does her husband prefer his parents over his wife? And yet, he was ok to have two kids with her? When you say he tells his parents everything, what does it mean?
Perhaps your sister should try reverse psychology. Pretend to love everyone and not complain in front of her husband? Perhaps he wants a certain kind of woman........better dressed, better at communication etc. Let her attend a cooking class or try new recipes, as they want. As manipulative as this sounds, maybe your sister can turn into that woman and slowly gain his trust and win him over to her side. She needs to communicate more with him and find out what he expects of her.

If it's not going to work, let her take a break from her marriage and try a separate life for a while. Forget about society and its implications. If she is educated, she can restart her career. If her husband and kids truly care for her, they will come back. But if, all they want is a maid servant, then she will live like this all her life.

 

This may not be a good way to handle things in an ideal situation.. but the situation here is weird, so it has to be handled similarly.

If kids say food is not good, then your sister should tell them "fine dont eat" and let them starve for a day or two instead of feeding them with love. If they call her names, she should tell them "how about I tell your teachers and friends what manners you have.. every body will laugh at you". If they scratch or act nasty, then let her ignore them, no need to bathe them or take care when sick... all this needs to be done for a while till they understand importance of a mother. If her husband intervenes and forces her to care for them when she is trying to set them straight, she should have a good show down with him and may be come out of the house to your parents place or your place for a week or two to take a break. These kind of morons needs to be taught a harsh lesson. Kids or elders, I have no sympathy for people like this. They are a waste of space.

 

Why did she let things go so wrong? This is what happens when you just want to bend over and be the nice person.She cannot change five abusers now.