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Kid not social in playschool

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by jeffmish, Nov 21, 2014.

  1. jeffmish

    jeffmish New IL'ite

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    Hi ILs,

    My DS is 2.9 years old and is going to playschool since 2 months. He is an only child and we are a nuclear family.

    I just had a parent-teacher meeting and got to know that he is not social and is soft, as in, doesn't have fighting spirit in him.

    Group activity he does, but doesn't interact with kids, likes to play by himself. If any kid becomes shows dominance on him, he runs to the teacher and asks to be picked up. Plus he doesn't talk much in school.

    I don't pamper him much with picking when he cries or falls off, but his father does that.

    Can we do anything to change his behaviour and be more social? Or will it change automatically with time?

    Thanks in advance for any advice
     
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  2. SurekhaKrishna

    SurekhaKrishna Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi jeffmish,
    Your son is very sweet natured person :) there is nothing abnormal in his behavior in school like soft natured compared to his classmates.That's how a 2 or 3 year old and an only child behaves.it is a work in progress to reach your desired social skill.
    does he play at home with little ones in his age group?
    my DD made me worry on this issue as she was a soft and sweet girl with her school friends :)now she is 4.5 years old and school is not a new thing to her now.she made lot of friends in her class on her own.
     
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  3. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    He sounds like a lovely child! Usually children that age are not so social, it comes later. Please pamper him with hugs and keeping him in your lap. That will strengthen him.
     
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  4. jeffmish

    jeffmish New IL'ite

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    Thanks SurekhaKrishna,
    I know I am being overly nervous, but being a first time parent can do things like this to us i guess and this was my first meeting too...I felt i was being reviewed!!
    I will keep ur advice in mind and great to hear about ur daughter's behaviour.
    Take care
     
  5. jeffmish

    jeffmish New IL'ite

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    Thanks Crayoness,
    I will keep ur advice in mind and try to change myself a bit.
    Take care
     
  6. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Does he complain about his classmates, Op?

    I find that doing role plays at home gives the child the tools necessary for a social setting. You can draw out situations in school by asking him to pretend to be one of his classmates while you pretend to be him. In a few days I expect he would start noticing what goes on in nursery and would be able to take pretending to the next level. When you sense a conflict, you deal with it appropriately (eg. If he snatches while pretending to be Xyz, you simply say, "hey! Abc(your child's name) is playing with this. Please could you return it and ask nicely?") then reverse roles and ask him to deal with a similar situation. These role plays really helped my DD a great deal.

    My DD was always a chatterbox but she didn't seem to talk much in school at all the first couple of months. A couple of months later, her teacher very excitedly reported that she is slowly starting to make sentences; I showed her videos from nearly 10 months previously when she was taking complex sentences. Turned out she needed to feel comfortable enough to open up.

    You could also organise play dates with some classmates to see how he interacts in a more familiar setting.

    dont worry. Your sweet child will thrive in school. Xx
     
  7. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Also practice saying "stop!" Firmly to anyone who bothers him. Get him to practice a firm voice. Not too soft; not aggressive either.

    Give him him the framework rrquired to stand up to someone who is being mean. Talk to him aboutmaking eye contact. tell him that anytime someone bothers him, he needs to quickly step back and out some distance between him and the other child, hold his hand out and say "stop!" Additional phrases he would benefit from are "play nicely please." Or "that's not nice" also if someone snatches, he needs to announce his displeasure and move from there. If the other child continues harassing him, he needs to contact an adult.

    when you keep repeating it, he will grasp what to do.
     

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