Keeping the spark alive

Re: what makes sexual life-a enjoyable moment from somany yrs of marriage

Good Question...
You are right. After few years in marriage things start getting boring. you know each other very well. You know his moves and he yours. So he know what is to expect from you.
my inputs on this topic is :
1 Be creative.
2 Be imaginative.
3. Flirt a little with dh.
4. Tease him a bit. Try to get the Oomph back.
5. Give him a surprise call him office and talk about the rosy night plans. So when he come back from work he will be totally charged.
6. Be little adventures and explore the uncharted territories.
7. Add some spice in life by adding some pizzazz in day today life.
8. You know in olden time this was a known art to all women. I remember my grand mother changing cloth and combing hair and putting kajal at evening time before her dh(grandfather) returned home. This was a simple act but was implying the same thing. Now as the time has changed women are working too. We are multitasking and do not have enough time to go through this evening charade. But now since I am replying to you I think that to helps. But mind you do it once in while so dh will get a pleasant surprise.


I guess I am still in line and did not offend anyone here. I do not wish to get booted out so I will stop here.

 

Re: what makes sexual life-a enjoyable moment from somany yrs of marriage

Thanks a lot dear tulip, Geetha and Yingyang for ur dare reply and openness which i am seeking thru this thread.

After reading this note this thread may get deleted.. Anyway dear friends keep going.

As all of us know that life is ruining down in nowadays lifestyle and also we all agree family life is most imp than money or anything else but i think these is only theoretically...as people doesnt want to discuss this openly....

Dear Moderater...after seeing these many reply , ...hope atleast now u came to know ...howmuch necessity of such topic....we all want healthy lifestyle, but not ready to find out a solution for the problems.......be practical...i have seen somany ppl around me who are really suffering in these busy lifestyle.....if you are doing something ..it should be constructive .......or if you are doing just for name sake .....better dont do

Nowadays how sex education is imp ...same way "realityof life" education is also imp

we are not forcing ppl who doesnt feel comfortable in discussing bedroom issues...those who are really open minded.,,they can participate

we understand there should be some set rules so that forum should not distract minors(underaged)....but there is a way to convey your words Ma'am.....no need to be so harsh....and we are also adults with family...we know our limits....thank u

 

Re: what makes sexual life-a enjoyable moment from somany yrs of marriage

OP,

Your thread is still around only because we at IL, " are practical enough " .. Hope you understand. I wonder where the message to you or to anyone who wanted to reply was harsh.. Anyways, when none of the members took it so differently as you did and still replied to you, you must understand that we are around not to stop people from discussing, but to take care that intruders and obscene responders stay away from any discussions. Any member would understand what it is.

Members replied to you reasonably, in a neat way. No one mentioned
' what positions do you practice, ' did they, OP ? That kind of discussion is exactly what is not required here. So, I repeat, if you want to have an healthy discussion, please go ahead. Else, if your intention is to talk such personal things even if you dont ask others about it, we are supposed to delete it. Hope you understand. Please continue your participation abiding forum rules. Thanks.

 

Re: what makes sexual life-a enjoyable moment from somany yrs of marriage

Hi Girls,

Following YingYang’s suggestions is a sure way to liven up your sex life. To add my bit of advice

• Sex is an important part of a married life so give it the priority it deserves.
• After years of being married and giving birth to one or more kids, many of us don’t look like fashion models. Learn to accept your body as it is and let go of any self consciousness.
• Be adventuress and don’t be scared to experiment a bit like trying different positions, rooms, etc. nothing too extreme.
• Don’t let the kids sleep with you. I know lot of couples who do that, if there is an option, please don’t do it. Get them to bed early, so that you and your DH can have alone time without interruption.
• You can try wearing sexy outfits that you’re comfortable with.
• Don’t always wait for your husband to initiate sex. Initiate it even if you’re not in the mood because once started you might get to that mood.
• Don’t be shy to tell your husband what you like and dislike in bed. I don’t know if this would be an issue for people who have been married for long, but thought I’ll add it just in case.

I’ve been married for nearly 15 years and enjoy a very healthy sex life with my husband. I hope I haven’t crossed the line of decency here.


S R

 

Re: what makes sexual life-a enjoyable moment from somany yrs of marriage

Dr.Preethi was not at all harsh while conveying her views as the Moderator in the bold blue coloured letters beneath OP's first post.

Yes, Dr.Preethi, we understand what you intend to convey. You do not want a detailed discussion of "how to do" ect. here. Having understood, what you tried to convey, let me ask......... Can I (I am a man) participate in this thread ?

 

Re: what makes sexual life-a enjoyable moment from somany yrs of marriage

IG,

IL has always welcomed male members respite it having more
women' members isnt ? So, as always, go ahead with an healthy discussion. Please do not ask permission to participate.. :hide:

All we ask is to remember we have members from all ages and school of thoughts.. and do not go overboard with words and details. We cannot keep attending to every other person's interests, for it wont go along with the other's. So, just follow rules and stay away from any warnings we will be forced to give. That is all. :thumbsupThanks

 

Re: what makes sexual life-a enjoyable moment from somany yrs of marriage

Reply to Xeria / Sindhu.

i think this is not a permanently solution....we need to think a permanently solution which we can arrange in our daily routine with out putting extra efforts....like it should become a part of our routine.

Nice that you started this thread, Xeria. There can not be a permanent solution to the issue of loss of passion (in love-making), every couple goes through, at least , during some stages of their married life, after years of living together. I mean, waxing of waning of passion and sexual desire is bound to take place for every couple, depending upon the following :

1) Stress. (this can be related to job, finances or kids' illnesses etc). Whatever may be the reason, significant stress will knock the passion and desire to make love , out of our windows. That is how Mother Nature has designed our body and mind. In women , stress can lead to loss of desire. In men, stress can lead to loss of desire and also erectile dysfunction.

2) Conflict & Relationship issues. Though, every one of us know that conflict is inevitable in every relationship, we often do not appreciate that the conflict and the feelings of hostility , that follows the conflict will kill the passion. You can not make love to your partner, on whom you are angry for some reason. So, waxing and waning of passion can be due to relationship issues also. Most of the couple do manage to resolve the conflicts successfully and manage to build back the passion also.

3) Minor illnesses. Small physical upsets like headache, a bloated abdomen and a pain in knees can also kill our passion and desire to make love( both for men and women).

4) Other reasons like, fear of pregnancy, poor body image, and lack of sleep etc.

Depending upon the above factors, every man and woman's desire to make love and passion , waxes and wanes. My point is.........even with best efforts, one can not do away with the above mentioned factors totally. Some or other of the above mentioned factors will operate in every couple , at least during some period of the relationship, if not always.

then i thought we should try like these type of changes(new things) in our routine ( atleast once in a mon) which creates such envirnoment which is really required in these busy lifestyle nowadays.

"Novelty" certainly triggers the passion and makes the session of love making special and exciting. During the initial stages of married life, it is this , "novelty" which makes the act of love making very exciting and special. With advancing years, the feelings of 'novelty' are destined to fade.

Of course, you are right.............., some amount of novelty can be recreated , by taking a vacation, from the mundane routine work to a hill side station. There are couple , who get a high passion and good desire to make love, during their vacation.......when they are free from their daily worries of having do cooking, getting kids ready for schools and preparing for next days' project at work.

In these modern world ..running behind the competition....both wife and husband are becoming so busy that there personal life is getting affected...they are forgetting to make love

You are absolutely right. I have personally come across so many couples who can count the number of love making sessions , they had in the whole one year period, less than ten etc. This much of abysmally low frequency of love making , in most couples , is due to, simply lack of time and the stress due to the cut throat competition in job/business.

we need to try new things as the ages passes otherwise it become so boring....eager to hear from all of u

I am happy that you are courageous enough to start this thread. I appreciate you for this reason. I am also very eager to listen to every body's views.

 

Re: what makes sexual life-a enjoyable moment from somany yrs of marriage

The above information is very informative and totally new to me, Sally. ............ { That a woman, is likely to get into mood, (even when she is not in the mood), just by the act of initiating sex from her own initiative )

I would like to go on record in appreciating you, for sharing such frank , courageous.........also, very useful information.

Thanks.

 

Re: what makes sexual life-a enjoyable moment from somany yrs of marriage

Thanks! It works for me but I can only speak for myself.

I've read some of your other posts and found your suggestions to be very good. From what I’ve read you seem like a professional and to share your knowledge in this forum that benefits a lot of people is truly remarkable. Keep up the good work!

S R

 

Re: what makes sexual life-a enjoyable moment from somany yrs of marriage

Hi,
It is an important part of married life to keep the relationship balanced. A couple can resolve their conflicts after this, atleast I personally feel much more relaxed after it. But I don't prefer to give special time for this as this is a natural thing and we should go ahead with this without having much plans. Yes, we should keep aside time for our togetherness which we automatically use for sex. I always prefer to keep my bedroom perfumed with clean, light bedcover, arrange candles, which increases our creativity....you might feel that I am going out of the topic here writing about clean sheets etc...but firstly I think about flowers, sent, clean and smooth clothing which automatically helps us for healthy sex life even if we have busy life and conflicts too.
Once in a blue moon, We can even keep time aside for massage,sona, candle light dinner etc, basically it should not be an act, it should be one part of our whole 1-2 hours of enjoyment, otherwise it could be really a routine