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Keeping the spark alive

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by jollyshilpy, Jun 15, 2010.

  1. jollyshilpy

    jollyshilpy New IL'ite

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    Hello everyone!

    Just found out this section on the forum. Some very lovely threads.

    Looking here for some help. We have a 9 month old daughter and we have a live in nanny. We both work full time so evenings are a mad rush. Weekend the nanny goes away but we are looking after our daughter so no energy left at all.

    Any tips on reigniting the spark in our married life?

    Thanks all and off to read and reply on other threads

    Thanks
     
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  2. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Can you spend some money to hire a weekend nanny once a month?
    That will help.
     
  3. jollyshilpy

    jollyshilpy New IL'ite

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    sure we can. The trouble is guilt! If we leave her with a nanny over the weekend both of us wont be happy at all. Ideal scenario is that we get close while she is playing/sleeping - somehow its all in our minds - KWIM? We cant get out of the parent mould
     
  4. gjaya

    gjaya Silver IL'ite

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    You need to get it out of your mind. Leaving your baby few hours with a Nanny is not worth feeling guilty. It is just a matter of few hours. It will only give you and your DH a chance to go out and have some fun like a date night or something once a month.
     
  5. malligashivaram

    malligashivaram Gold IL'ite

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    MY DEAR JOLLY SILPHI---YOUR NAME SPEAKS A LOT---I KNOW YOU HAVE THE SPARKS--NOT THE ENERGY AS YOU SAY---LOOKING AFTER A KID IS FULL TIME JOB, NOTHING YOU CAN LEAVE FOR CHANCE HERE---FULL DEDICATION AND LOVE IS THE ONLY WAY TO BRING UP A CHILD.
    THE OF MARRIAGE LIFE IS ALWAYS THERE DEAR--MAYBE YOU JUST WANT TO BE COMPLETELY FREE YOU ENJOY EACH OTHERS COMPANY--WHICH IS A GOOD THING KEEP THE MARRIAGE BELLS TINGLING. PLAN, EVERYTHING AHEAD THE COOKING,THE CLEANING, AND OTHER HOUSEWORK--HAS TO BE FAST
    A COMBINATION OF WORK TOGETHER IS BEST---I KNOW YOU KNOW ABOUT ALL THIS---ON LEAVE DO THE WORK, AND LOOKING AFTER THE CHILD TOGETHER,---ALWAYS STAYING--CLOSE BY--AND JOKING ---AND YOU KNOW WHAT.
    TOGETHERNESS IS THE ONLY WAY NOW--GO FOR A SHORT WALK TOGETHER WITH THE CHILD, SMALL SHOPPING--SHOULD NOT BE TEDIOUS, --THE HOUSE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT---YOU CAN DO IT WHEN HUBBY IS OUT.
    IT IS THE TOUCHING , FEEL.... AND ETC OFTEN KEEPS THE LOVE ALIVE---MAKE YOUR CHILD PLAY AROUND SO THAT HE GETS TIRED AND FALLS OF TO A LOONG SLEEP---AND THERE YOU HAVE TIME TO SWEETY PIE EACH OTHER, HAVE PATIENCE THIS TOO WILL PASS FAST---AS THE CHILD GROWS INDEPENDENT.
    WEAR GOOD CLOTHES, KEEP YOUR SELF FIT--VISIT BEAUTY PA LOUR FOR QUICK TREATMENTS ONCE A MONTH,
    SEE ROMANTIC MOVIES TOGETHER-------REMEMBER THE FEELING OF LOVE, AND ROMANCE, SHOULD BE NOTICEABLE TO YOUR HUBBY---SO THAT YOUR LOVE KEEPS GROWING---BEST OF LUCK--OTHER SIS WILL WRITE IT BETTER--YOUR AGE GROUP ONES, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT IT WILL TURNOUT WELL.:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl
     
  6. sonusun

    sonusun New IL'ite

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    just dont worry..........go with the flow do lil things together like outings, shopping, with ur baby in tow u shud be ok.........good u have live in nanny.

    dh & me with 2 boys did never have any help in raising them.......now we do feel the spark better since kids are no longer infants.......

    Dont worry u will get there eventually
     
  7. ilite

    ilite Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Jollyshilpy,

    The other posters have already mentioned many ideas to have your couple-time. Besides these, try to have an hour or so at the end of the day just for you two before going to bed. Try to put the LO to sleep earlier than your bedtime. Also, another thing we do is , take a day off from work every once in a while (while keeping the daily routine with LO) and go shopping, have lunch together (make a list of restaurants you want to try before hand) and do other stuff that we cannot do while with the LO.

    Hope that helps.

    regards,
     
  8. jollyshilpy

    jollyshilpy New IL'ite

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    Thanks all. ilite, I like your suggestion..

    sonusun - are you jaya by any chance?
     
  9. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    JollyShilpy,

    You are right.. It is all in the minds.
    Make the 'mad rush' a 'mad about you rush'. :wink:
    Little things you do through the weekdays are the real things that keep the spark alive. Filmy stuff is not for all. :) Just be natural and make use of every moment to enjoy the togetherness - be it a hand in hand walk for just 10 mins at night with the baby in stroller.. or sitting side by side in the couch and watching TV.. or giving each one a light backrub or massage while discussing the day.. everyday things like that convey a lot when done the right way at the right moment with or without the kid next to you. :)
     
  10. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Kalakiteenga MST (Well done MST)

    I'll take this advice as advice meant for me! Since we are often in mad rush as well on most evenings/nights, we need to learn to convert it to mad-abt-you-rush. Me gonna have to figure this out as well :thumbsup
     

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