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Keeping busy is not solution for me,What should I do?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by piu, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. piu

    piu New IL'ite

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    I'm married for 3years and having a 1.5 year age son.But I am really unhappy with my marriage though it was love marriage.So that I keep myself very busy with taking various courses,when get some time to relax I feel so lonely.Nothing can give me happiness.Keeping busy is not solution for me actually.I can't keep myself busy for lifelong and ignore husbands neglegency.What should I do?Any suggession please.
     
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  2. keer212

    keer212 New IL'ite

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    Hi Piu, Definitely, keeping one busy by ignoring your real need wont give u happiness...
    I think u lack emotional support....Tats making u feel bad even though u keep u busy

    See urs is a love marriage and he is attracted to u and married u....Now due to some reasons (Work pressure...guys used to get this at this age) he is neglecting u.....And u suddenly feeling lonely because, his attention is getting reduced...rite??
    Dont worry dear....Be happy and cheerful....Dont pester him...Do sweet little things that make him smile (u can even be goofy sometime:)) That will make him look at u.....

    But how to be happy admist all problems???

    To be happy, u need to identify what u want....Do the thing u like....Paste some encourage prints in ur wall...something like " I love u and want u to be happy even if u r not a part of my happiness" will do great....This make ur husband understand ur feelings..

    Play music in ur room and dance...watch cartoons...do painting...meditate when u get time....talk to ur friends....hear lot of music which is soothing for u....try out some new receipies...Go out for shopping...go for walk....eat what u like (slurrping food)...Do some facial at home or at parlour....read a gud book

    Always pamper u....try to dress beautifully even if u r alone...do all the things that make u happy...try speaking to ur hubby that how u miss him terribly in a caring and loving way...whisper him with" i ll miss u toay evening" while he is going to office

    Hope this works for u...

    Loads of luv,
    Keerthi
     
  3. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Piu,

    You've not specified what makes you think your husband is neglecting you. A mother of 3 yr old (arranged marriage... 8 years) i can assume that this is a phase you're going through as a mother. I was like this 2 years after my boy was born and was blaming my husband for everything. And yes no course/classes helped me. Try leaving your child with baby-sitter/friend on a week-end evening and you 2 take some time for yourself, as husband and wife. And men can't read what is going on in our mind. Whenever I tell my husband what's going on in my mind, what I expect out of him, what pisses me off with him I find we rejoin the missing link:) Don't worry, dear... this is just a phase of parenthood.
    Latha
     
  4. piu

    piu New IL'ite

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    guyz I wanna feel alive not wanna being busy again.:idontgetit:
     
  5. saheli08

    saheli08 New IL'ite

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    Hi,
    Maybe you and your husband need some time by yourselves, away from day-to-day distractions , you know like work, family, etc.
    Take a family vaccation for few days so it gives both of you time to talk about things thats bothering you.Sometimes, lack of communication is the main problem. You and your husband may be in completely different page, since you have not specified why you feel neglected I'm assuming he may be too busy with work or something and you feel neglected.
    open up to him, tell him how you feel and hopefully you will feel better.Also he is the same guy that you fell in love, so just think about what has changed over the years. Some men have one track mind( like my hubby) and when they focus on one thing they don't remember anything else, even though he dosen't mean to ignore you. They need to be told and reminded constantly.
    Did I confuse you?:crazy
    Hope this helps
     
  6. roopadadia

    roopadadia Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Piu,

    How are you feeling now. I think you need to take a break...take some time out for yourself and try to visualise or rather understand why you are feeling low. Its just 3 yrs of marriage and this feeling is not very healthy sign.

    List out what make you feel so and the work around it. Speak to your hubby openly, take a vacation and try to bring that spark back in your life.

    Roopa.
     

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