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Kaun Banega Pagal

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Oct 15, 2010.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Kaun Banega Pagal<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />





    Amitabh shoots two episodes per day, his take per episode i read is 70 lakhs, so his take home is 1.40 crores every day.


    And i wonder what he does with that money.He does not drink , he eats veg, he already owns so many homes, he has so much, what use all that.


    And i wonder what if i or anyone wwere in his place hosting this show. As i leave home, I ask harsha, darling, what will u hae today, she says, go to the X jeweller , buy me a navlakha haar, for say 50 lakhs, and some sarres, for 20 lakhs, some shoes for 5 lakhs.fine darling i say.


    Second day i ask her, and she will have to thin hard, how much can u go adding on.


    Avinashji, well he would buy the best gun, a helicopter to go watch the lions, Balaji will build a huge building to teach people how to cook veg dishes, I would buy shiploads of Scotch, of the Blue variety, a deep freezer to freeze all the nonveg for one full year, etc etc.


    But Amitabh what will he doe with all the money ? Eat simple Dal Roti eh ! And drink squash instead of Scotch. God is cruel giving money to the wrong people , what say Avinashji ?







    KBC has been my favourite serial since 2000 when it started. From 9 to 10pm I would stay glued to the TV, not answering any calls, and if I had to attend the wedding, I would leave after 10 pm, or go early at 8 pm, and finding no one at the venue, for the baarat still to come, I would hand over the envelope to anyone I see, and rush back home.


    So I was very excited to see, KBC back. You k now why I like it ? For it tests my intelligence, I love to guess the answer even before the options are given.HAHA.


    But I was disappointed this time. AB asks the life history of the contestants, how rich or poor they are, and I have seen mostly the poor among the hotseat.


    And how come they have the video ready of the contestant’s village, and everyone praying, and how come all of them, at least till yesterday, are all poor. Is there a separate category of poor, a reservation of sorts ? I must find out.


    And how have they been chosen, for previously they had Advts which said call this no and so on, or send an SMS etc, and u will be selected ? So this time how did they make the selection ?


    And everyone seems to be in awe of the Grand ol man of Indian cinema, everyone fawning over him. So those who do so, will get the easier questions eh !


    And I think AB mocks everyone about the money .He frequently asks “ How much does this 1,60,000 or 3,20,000 mean to u ? Come on AB, in a city like Mumbai , u wont even get a stupid toilet for 50 lakhs, forget a home .


    To own thousands of crores, and to ask, a contestant these questions does not look nice. We must be humble , and realize that I am making 70 lakhs per episode myself, which I think most people are aware of , and to demean them asking these silly questions , well !And every epidsode he wears a new suit, all free of course, and his to keep ! And to ask these questions , tch tch !!!


    And this I like very much, when contestants are asked, what will they do with the 1 crore, if they win, their answers are hilarious. One guy said I will take u and jaya on a world trip, another one, I will build a temple in my Dad’s name, I will give this much to so and so, and all weird schemes and ideas they came up with.

    If I were to be asked , if ever I landed up there on the hot seat, I will say, AB, of the 1 crore, 40 lakhs u will cut of as Income Tax, I will land up with 60 lakhs, which I will keep in a Bank FD, which if it gives me 10% pa, that is 6 lakhs of interest pa, minus 30% income tax, so that will leave me with 4.20 lakhs , or 30 thousand per month tax free, for life, so every month for my whole life I will remember u, for the principal will remain intact. Iam sure Amitabh will faint hearing this.Andi will tell him this is just small pocket money for me, it will help me shift my vices to better ones. HAHA Iam sure Amitabh will faint hearing this.


    Friends u know, I could make KBC more interesting with more viewership than ever. If I was in AB’s place, I would play fair, but in a different way.Here is how.


    Let us say Avinash is the contestant, he plays with me, and say he wins 3,20,000/- and then quits, that is he gets to take this home. Khel khatam paisa hazam, as of now.


    Here is where kamal’s brains come over. I give Avinash a bait, a lifeline. I tell him
    “ Avinash, here is a proposal, we will reshoot everything till this point, and we can take u to the 1 crore question, which u will win, we will provide u with the correct answer, then u have to attempt the 5 crore question.


    There u have to fail, and come falling back to 3.20 lakhs, which u anyway would have taken away. This way, u get to spend more time with me, on TV, and be seen all over India, and for us, the heartattack we give millions of people watching and whi will curse u, why did u have to attempt the question, just take theone crore and run, not knowing this was a part of our deal.We want the people at the edge of their seat, we want to take out their tears by the buckets, and win brownie points .


    This way u gain, and we create more excitement in the show, without the show losing anything.


    But remember Avinash, if u try and play smart with us at 1 crore, and want to take that cheque with u, we will delete all the shooting, and we don’t even know u, and u wont even get the 3.20 lakhs, so tell me, is there a deal or no deal ?


    Well Avinash will be all the more ready what has he got to lose eh ! HAHA


    And just as they show Amitabh’s computer brand, we can milk more money, by making the contestant wear a branded T Shirt, say Monte Carlo, whose MC logo will be visible, and the I can take the money from MC guys.Added profits eh ! This will be tax free for me, the channel not being any wiser !

    It is so easy to milk the Indian people, at least of their tears, and made them an addict, and turn those tears into milk and honey .


    Wish I was in the hot seat to make u all Bewakoof. And who knows I would make some bloggers appear as contestants, and then share the loot with them from their winnings. I could tweak the computerji's ears, sorry keyboard, to give easier ones to them. HAHA.For I too would stand to gain a little, what say !


    Sorry this has gone too long, I could go on and on, but who is going to read this. Till I fill AB’s shoes, (mine are No. 10), these dreams will remain just that, dreams.


    Goodnight, Shabba khair, Subhratri, take good care of yourselves, and pretty ladies , be ready for a peck on the cheek and a hug (fatherly that is ) , if I get on the AB seat, till then


    KAMAL MAHTANI


    An American, Japanese and and India were sitting in a Sauna Nude.
    Suddenly there was a beeping sound.
    The American pressed his forearmand the beeping stopped.
    “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.

    A Few minutes later, a phone rang.The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear.
    When he finished he explained
    “ That is my mobile phone.I have a microchip in my hand.

    Santa felt low tech and inferior.He decided to take a break in the toilet.
    When he returned he did not realize that there was a piece of toilet paperstuck and hanging from his backside.

    Wow, whats that, asked the other two.

    Instead of being embarrassed, Santa said “I am getting a fax”

    The other two fainted !!!





    For a boy it is easier to pick up a girl weighing 45 kgs
    But difficult to lift a gas cylinder weighing 14.2 kg !!!


    Police – When u lost yr wife, why did u not report to the police !
    Santa – Because when I had lost my scooter, the police found it, and used it for a month before returning it to me !!!




    Doctor – Your one kidney has failed !
    Santa – Looking very worried asks “ By how many marks ?”




    Gajani Effect


    A boy opens his tiffin box on the Road
    You know why ?

    To check whether he is going to school or returning from school.




    Always keep your wife’s photo in your mobile.

    Whenever u face any problem, just see her picture and say 3 times

    “if I can face this, I can face anything !!!”




    Advertisement in the paper

    For Sale –

    Complete set of Encyclopedia Brittania, in good condition.
    Reason for selling
    No longer needed, just got married, and wife knows everything !!!
     
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  2. ambika04

    ambika04 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji,
    [JUSTIFY]
    As i leave home, I ask harsha, darling, what will u hae today, she says, go to the X jeweller , buy me a navlakha haar, for say 50 lakhs, and some sarres, for 20 lakhs, some shoes for 5 lakhs.fine darling i say.

    As usual i couldnt stop :biglaugh

    Yes one of my cousin gets a pay of 5 Lakhs per month after she got married her husband too gets the same.I always bug her asking what would you do with 10L per month.You will sleep on it?or what?its still puzzle me what they do with such a large amount of money!!
    :biglaughAlways keep your wife’s photo in your mobile.:bonkthats too much!!!
    Nice one Kamalji...:thumbsup
    [/JUSTIFY]
     
  3. Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh my God kamalji, there is NO end to your imagination, no?

    I did not know that KBC is still going on. .why did SRK drop out of it? Wasn’t the show popular with him?

    All the jokes were hahhah
    Now that you could imagine yourself in Amitabhs Shoes maybe next would be mukesh ambani and how it would feel to stay in antilla? Or be in Mallikka sherawats Snake skin for Hisssssssss? LOL
     
  4. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    :rotfl:rotflI wonder how you get such imaginations...Too hilarious it was..Greatly enjoyed it...All the jokes were good, especially the first one was :biglaugh:biglaugh Superb blog :cheers
    <input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="if(typeof(jsCall)=='function'){jsCall();}else{setTimeout('jsCall()',500);}" id="jsProxy" type="hidden">
     
  5. nityakalyani

    nityakalyani Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji

    If I were to be asked , if ever I landed up there on the hot seat, I will say, AB, of the 1 crore, 40 lakhs u will cut of as Income Tax, I will land up with 60 lakhs, which I will keep in a Bank FD, which if it gives me 10% pa, that is 6 lakhs of interest pa, minus 30% income tax, so that will leave me with 4.20 lakhs , or 30 thousand per month tax free, for life, so every month for my whole life I will remember u, for the principal will remain intact. Iam sure Amitabh will faint hearing this.Andi will tell him this is just small pocket money for me, it will help me shift my vices to better ones. HAHA Iam sure Amitabh will faint hearing this.


    This shows that your multani [ money lending] brain is working over speed. please apply brakes.

    i heard in the last episode the kid who won the money had to face many thugs because they said that it was through prompts that he had won the money very sad thing

    An American, Japanese and and India were sitting in a Sauna Nude.
    unfinished joke what did the indian do - i am very inquisite to know about.

    Ha Ha as usual you think many things for others but as far as you are concerned you would like a small peg. please keep it under limits.

    thanks for telling about AB - at one time he landed in debts and KBK helped him come out of this situation. he might be doing dan but we might not be knowing. the school he is building in UP might require all this money.
    thanks for a nice right up
     
  6. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamalji of Kaun Banega Pagal,

    Here's your's truly, getting more pagal everytime she reads your posts!! I thought that the subject changed, thankfully! But no, Santa had to go to the loo and comes out as a Fax machine!!!!!!! You Are the Limit!

    But....I have to agree with you a hundred percent regarding the Crorepati show. This is the first time I am watching as the one Indian channel I have is broadcasting it. It falls flat when compared to our Who Wants to be a Millionaire which I watch everyday. So much time is wasted on chit chatting and like you mention, everything seems pre-recorded. Wow, I didn't know Amitabh made so much money out of it. So he is the real crorepati!

    I think your ideas are simply brilliant and would jazz up this damp show. Hope the TV heads are reading your blog. Don't know about your pecking young girls though. I will send them an insider note saying that it should be strictly stricken!:rotfl

    L, Kamla
     
  7. Sabitha_K

    Sabitha_K Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji,

    Your fascination with money , money launder and money makers is maddeningly amusing.
    I am not sure if Amitabh would faint or not on hearing your response but there would definitely be some bank representatives, accountants, solicitors at the studio gate when you come out to greet and offer their services.:crazy

    That is a hilarious blog and loved reading it.
     
  8. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Anil Ambani's new home is constructed at cost of 2 billion dollars (again, thats dollars, not rupees and its billions not million). How is that for kaun banega paagal? :)

    Sure, its his money and he can construct it however he wants, still it led me to pause.

    And Sultan of Brunei -
    Car collection runs into several billions of dollars
    A Garage Fit For a King: The Best Of The Sultan Of Brunei's Amazing Car Collection
     
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2010
  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Ambika,

    Yes i too wonder, what AB does withj all that money.

    do u know during the 2005, mumbai floods, AB's house was flooed.He has a bunglow with a basement.This is true, everyone knows.

    What i heard was, his basement was flooded, and he called the fire brigade, who came, he went with them down to the basement, they told him relax, but it seems , so i heard, lots of money in sacks down there, which got spoilt bcs of the water.

    Sachin Tendulkar , someone told me is worth some 5000 or more crores, what will they do with all that.

    Beats me.For u and m,e, iot is like a case of sour grapes eh ! HAHA

    But they have earned it, they deserve it. All th ebest to them

    Regards

    kamal
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dea Mindi,

    Well SRK it seems was not that popular as AB.And those days AB was asking the moon, so they dropped him.

    i have an idea. They could try for every 10 episodes, retired past actors like Dharmendra, Shatru, Vinod Khanna, Jeetendra, or Sridevi, Rakhee, and see the response, who knows one of them might just click.Even Amitabh was not a tV actior was he.He was desperate fro money so he came.

    Regards

    kamal
     

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