Kaun Banega Bakra

Kaun Banega Bakra



​

Idd is nearing, and goats are being auctioned for Idd. And there are record prices at times a lakh or two for a goat get’s many people’s goat, but look at this one.


Rs 48 lakh was bid goat, owner said not less than 61 lakh 12903813

A guy named Govind Chaudhary from some part of Rajasthan, has a goat, which he brought to the auction place and the price he placed was 61 lakhs. What is so special for this goat ? Well the ears actually. The inside of both the ears of the goat, are scribbled with some urdu holy words, which has been confirmed by experts that they are natural .


Someone bid 48 lakhs, but our man refuses to take a penny less than 61 lakhs and took the goat home.The goat weighs 90 kgs, is kept in AC room and fed with dry fruits. Wow what a life eh ! A human may wish it, but what if he knows he will be slaughtered after he fattens eh !



Now after having refused, what if the goat dies a natural death ? Even the 48 lakhs gone eh ! and how can u cut a goat for 48 lakhs and eat it, if it is holy ! Mind boggling for me.



Well lets come to the other goats, going for 1 lakh and two lakhs, small frys these goats. Just as we name our goats, people name their goats after filmstars like Salman, Shahrukh, Amir and so on. And mind u, there are dozens of salmons and Shah Rukhs at the same spot up for auction. So these headlines tickle me, Shahrukh beats Salman, Shanrukh goes for 2 lakhs, Amir remains unsold !!!! HAHA



And it seems these lakh priced goats, they need to have their birth certificate, to know the linage of their parents and grandparents, nasal they call it .Wow.



I am a nonveg lover, and my contractors most of them are Muslims, so on Idd they bring meat to me, I refuse, for it is full of Charbi, that is fat. I cant digest it, and harsha kills me with her looks, for she is veg, remember. So I give it to my staff quietly tot ake home, so I don’t offend any.This is Prasad from them, and I dare not refuse, but I dare not eat too !!!!



And just as people are selling all things on Flipcart and OLX, today I read, somepeople have put their unsold goats on OLX, but there are no buyers, for people fear if the goats are sick etc etc. Who knows soon people will put their spouses on OLX, for sale or exchange eh ! You never know with the changing times.And how will the goat be packed and brought to u, I wonder !!!



The above was written yest, Thursday to be posted Friday that is today.Well some updates in todays papers, so I add this below.



Due to the meat ban, some goat sellers thought Mumbai will have great demand for goats, so they went there instead, to sell their goats. Well everyone thought so, so there was a glut of bakras, and against a demand of 2.5 lakhs goats, there came 4.5 lakhs. One fellow had bought a goat for 23000, thinking he would sell it for 35000, well he sold at a loss for 15000/-.



And well the Jains, they bought some 50 goats, to save them from slaughter, for 5 lakhs, their gurus blessed the goats, and they were carted away to a shed far away, where they will be fed, and taken care of, and where they will die their natural death, and will never be slaughtered.A very noble cause indeed.

====================================================================


A friend of mine was telling me about the pirated movies he gets from some video library, on his pendrive, for 30 bucks, no returning keep it for ever. I was curious and went to see , and he showed me Bajrangi Bhaijan, what a lovely print, no advts, too good. I asked him to ask the fellow if he gives old hindi songs too.


Yes said the library fellow. Cost ? 60 bucks per GB of songs, or MB, which means 150 songs, so that means 40 paise for a song. Im Sure if Mohamad Rafi or Mukesh were to know they are singing to people for 40 paise a song, they will commit suicide upstairs, and come falling down to earth very soon, to take revenge on these libraries fellows. So u can tell the library chap, listen I have 300 bucks to spare for the songs, listen , give me 100 worth of rafi, 25 worth of mukesh, 60 worth of kishore and so on.HAHA

There was a time, I wished that I was a singer, that people would listen to me after I am dead, but being sold like this , for peanuts, I am glad I am not a singer.How times change eh ! No CD players, now just fill in the songs in the pendrive, and paly it in the car, the backseat fellow can change the song with remote, play it on yr smart TV at home, and play it on yr computers, or mobile. Wonderful really for us, but not so good for the music companies, or the singers who sang them.

Long back, some 20 years back maybe, I had heard that AIR pays 1 rupee per song p layed on radio, to the singers family. So if all india level if 5000 mhd rafi songs are played everyday on radio, so 5000 bucks to the family each day ? Not bad eh ! Now I want to be a singer again.

Bye friends, have a great weekend.

KAMAL MAHTANI





Coffee never knew that it would taste so nice and sweet, before it met milk and sugar.

We are good as individuals but become better when we meet and blend with the right people...

"The world is full of nice people... If you can't find one... Be the one."





Haridwar tourism....

इससे पहले कि
कोई आपको लाये
मटकी में या ज़ार में....



कुछ दिन तो गुजारिये
ज़िन्दा,
हरिद्वार में ...





Fully-Nude British lady gets into taxi, Sindhi Driver looks at her top to bottom repeatedly..

British lady- haven't u ever seen a naked woman before??

Sindhi Driver: It's not that, I'm just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me..

MORAL: Concentrate on ur Business, no matter what happens..

Be professional..!!






क्या आपकी पत्नी के पास ये सब है?



सुलगता जिस्म
नशीली आँखें
कँपकँपाते होंठ
थरथराता बदन
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.अगर है तो ये डेंगू के लक्षण हैं
जनहित में ज़ारी~






These four classified ads appeared in a Gujarati newspaper on four Consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake.

MONDAY:

For sale - SK Shah has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 2555-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Vani who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY:

Notice: We regret having erred in SK Shah's ad yesterday.

It should have read, "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 2555-0707 and ask for Mrs. Vani, who lives with him after 7PM."

WEDNESDAY:

Notice: SK Shah has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday.

The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale - SK Shah has a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 2555-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Vani who loves with him."

THURSDAY:

Notice: I, SK Shah, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 2555-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected.

I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Vani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.

 

Dear Balaji,

Goat equals to a merc ? HAHA. good one dear.

Yes people like to be bakaras really.God goats ? :rotfl

Well te goat was brought for slaughter, and the fellow will now wait for the next ID, and if still not sold, he will slaughter himself for refusing the 48 lakhs. he bought it for 10 lakhs, not a bad profit eh !

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Twinkle,
Well how can such a valuable goat get slaughtered, if it is holy, beats me too , like u.
Well, oor singers eh ! their songs being sold like this.HAHA

Regards

kamal