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Just Want To Escape..

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by anika987, May 16, 2022.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    people in IL know the issues i have with my relatives.To save my self worth and respect ,get some peace of mind I had to move away from them.Now the entire relative ganged up against me and calls me a liar,rude,psycholgical issues etc and other names.

    My co sister and bro in law are one of them.I actually did so much for the and thought of her as my own sister.What I get in return?constant comparisons, taunts and subtle insults by disregarding my presence, put downs etc.I could not stay in a place where am treated bad.My brother in law supports her blindly and he could not even comprehend the possibility that his wife could be wrong.

    What is wrong with some guys?If their wife has a fight with another women.why they blindly support their wife?Is their spouse a god?can't she make mistakes? can't they open up to the remote possibility that their wife could be wrong?This kind of support is not good for her or to the other women who is wronged.

    Anyways, my kids and her kids like each other a lot.I told my husband he can take our kids and go to his brother's house and hang out etc but I do not want to come.I have no problem with him hanging out or being with any relatives but I am so hurt by them and I do not want to tolerate anymore.I have tolerated for 14 years.How much more can I handle?He is so mad at me and extreme fight today.He is saying am too rude and excluding everyone...I am not..I just want some basic human respect.Is that too much to ask?

    Mother in law says...am the elder dil..so Adjust.

    Husband says..I do not know the value of family..so Adjust.

    My mom says..every family as problems. co sister maybe wrong but i will get a bad name..so Adjust.

    I am not the one who made a mistake! I swear! I locked my bedroom, buried my face in the pillow and screamed!! from my stomach..then burst into tears..

    I am tired.Mentally exhausted today.Maybe coz of periods and hormones.I feel like running away somewhere.I just want an escape.

    just tired guys today..wanted to share..righteousness do not have a stand in today's world.One has to be shrewd.I lack that big time.Else I could be like my relatives who get whatever they want by being emotionally manipulative.for eg:My co sister uses her tears and guilt trip my brother in law every time. Me on the other hand bluntly speaks my heart.I don't want to emotionally blackmail.

    straight trees are cut first.People like me do not stand a chance in today's world..

    I actually messaged my brother that I won't call up for some days..so that he wont get scared.I don't feel like talking to anyone..just want to move away.am tired of making adjustments for everyone.


    anyways just wanted to share.thanks for reading guys..
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2022
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  2. Ranchu

    Ranchu Local Champion Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Glad you shared. sometimes saying it out helps relieve the pent up frustrations.
    Your choice of not going is ok . Instead of delivering this msg , say it pleasantly to your husband. May be he will then understand and respect your choice.
     
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  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    yes Ranchu..thank you.I am doing quite better now..
     
  4. daisy1234

    daisy1234 Silver IL'ite

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    I have said this multiple times to you and saying it again. Sometimes when I read your post, it feels like I wrote the post cos you reflect my thoughts, my emotions, my pain in right set of words. You have a knack to express your emotions so easily whereas I will be in search of words to emote my thoughts in words.

    Having said that, I completely agree about the straight trees. I wonder the same and I have never caused pain to anyone consciously and me and DH are the people who will go out of our ways to please anyone, be it family or friends, but then we are the ones who get hurt in the most cruel ways by the family/friends. I wish I have an answer but I don't. I wish I could talk to you, pour my heart out to you, and hear you out as well but your profile is private :(
     
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  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh I will check the setting and let u know dear
    U can contact me
     
  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    I didn’t click LIKE coz I don’t like @anika987 being in situation of “adjusting”
    all or any time willy-nilly for selfish kith or kin. But in life there is none who did not encounter situation for adjusting even with unfriendly or and annoying relatives. But many had overcome and manage such situations and remain unperturbed.
    God give you strength and ideas to get you back to your normal cheerful mood.
    With best wishes
    Regards.
     
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  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks so much for the kind words..am feeling better..just on and off I get my low moments but these days I pep myself up pretty fast:)
     

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