Just venting.....

I said my bye byes. As she faded away from my vision, I felt limp.

I functioned the last couple of days like a zombie, doing things that have to be done, washing the last change of clothes and packing them away for her, printing out important numbers and addresses in case she might need it in an emergency, making a sandwich for her duffel bag just in case.....

Yes, my dear mother came to stay with me for a few days. It is too much we ask of her. Selfish thoughts, helpless decisions...made and carried out as none of us have other options. At her age, it is a long long way to travel, never mind what we say to ease our guilty thoughts. She came to visit us because we cannot go to her and this is the only way that she can spend a stretch of time with me.

Even during her short stay, I feel I could not give her enough quality time. I was always in a rush to attend to various chores around the house or running to attend some errands. She would wait patiently till I am done with the morning hours of the day. Then it would be lunching, cleaning and straightening the kitchen. Bathrooms and laundry work, almost all home makers here can understand what I am talking about. Add other sundry stuff like shopping for groceries, someone visiting or vice versa, TV and of course, my sojourns to IL! .......She would be still waiting.......

Then it was time for her departure. I felt sad, I felt guilty, I felt helpless.

Now she is gone, I am forlorn...My mother, my precious darling and now in her old age, I feel she is my baby.

Oh, what is it we opt for when we decide to live so faaaar away from our dearest ones??

L, Kamla

 

Dear Nivedi,

It is true, time is cruel! When we need it, it seems to fly away, when we do not need it, it seems to stretch and stretch! Have you ever wondered why 1 minute is so long when you are waiting for that cup of drink to get hot in the micro??!
No, time never is enough when you are visiting your dear ones, three months seem to go by like three days!

L, Kamla

 

Dear Krish,

Still, you should consider yourself very very lucky today with all these internet possibilities.
Years back, my father used to send his birthday wishes to us through telegrams! When I received the very first one, I was numbed with angst wondering what message it contained!

L, Kamla

 

Dear Sriniketan

Thanks for your thoughtful reply.
My mother unfortunately had a very tiresome flight. Flight was delayed by nearly three hours and she got stuck in Mumbai as the connecting flights got messed up!
She is fine though...All is well that ends well!

L, Kamla

 

Yes Chithra,

The work seems neverending! Even though we know it will Never run away, we (I) get all hassled up till it gets done. Wisdom is to put it aside and try to enjoy the rare company or anything else that is of more importance.
That's why we need to tank up on the Gita lessons....I think you will agree with me.

L, Kamla