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jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by mathangikkumar, Dec 16, 2013.

  1. mathangikkumar

    mathangikkumar Platinum IL'ite

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    ShiShy - '' Guruji , kuch bataiye ''


    Guruji -




    '' aaj mai tumhe shristi ki rachna ke ware mei batata hoon...bhagawan ne pehle prithvi banai , phir thoda aaram kiya phir aadmi banaya , phir thoda aaram kiya!''
    ShiShy - '' phir ?''


    ?

    ?
    Guruji - '
    ' phir bhagawan ne stri ki rachna ki !''
    ShiShy- '' phir thoda aaram kiya hoga ?''
    ?

    Guruji - '
    ' nahi, iske baad phir n bhagwan ko aaram mila , n aadmi ko...!''

    ............................................................
    Aaj se 300 saal pehle MATHS bahut masoom aur pyara tha.

    Ek din kuch badmash students ne MATHS ko bahut maara... itna maara, itna
    maara ki bechare MATHS ki jaan chali gayi..


    Lekin jaate jaate MATHS sab students ko ek baddua de gaya... Main to ja raha hoon lekin..."MATHS"


    M = Meri

    A = Aatma

    T = Tumhe

    H = Hamesha

    S = Satayegi


    Aaj bhi maths ki aatma bhatak rahi hai aur saare students ko sata rahi hai aur hamesha satati rahegi....
    ................
    While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear a child's voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the child's words. When I spotted a girl perched on a rock, I realized why
    her words had made no sense: She was repeating the alphabet.


    "Why are you saying your ABC's so many times?" I asked her.

    The child replied, "I'm saying my prayers."

    I couldn't help but laugh. "Prayers? All I hear is the alphabet."

    Patiently the child explained,

    "Well, I don't know all the words, so I give God the letters. He knows what I'm trying to say."

    .............................................
    Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
    The first man was an Engineer,
    The second man was an Accountant,
    The third man was a Chemist, and
    The fourth man was a Government Employee.



    To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

    T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.


    The Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,
    "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."


    Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.


    The Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."
    Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured Exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.


    The Government Employee called his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."
    Coffee Break jumped to his feet.......
    Ate the cookies........
    Drank the milk.....
    Sh*t on the paper.......
    Screwed the other three cats........
    Claimed he injured his back while doing so.
    Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.
    Put in for Workers Compensation.
    Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave..
    ,......................................Pun fun…


    My friend keeps telling me I’m in the closet, I just say it’s Narnia business.
    Either one works:

    Have the courage to go forward with commitment.

    OR

    Have the commitment to go forward with courage.

    **


    Kim: Hey! Do you know what the hammer say to the piece of wood?

    Ray: No. What did he say?

    Kim: We nailed that one!

     
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  2. vidhu86

    vidhu86 Junior IL'ite

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    Wow... Really good..Keep posting jokes and good lines..
     
  3. Psg13

    Psg13 New IL'ite

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    Haha good one !!!!
     

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