1.The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper. 'How much does it cost to have an obituary printed'? asked miser Santa Singh. 'It's 50 Rupees a word, sir,' the clerk replied politely. 'Fine,' said Santa Singh after a moment. 'Okay then, write this down: 'Banta - dead'.' 'That's all?' asked the clerk disbelievingly. 'That's it.' 'I'm sorry sir, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum.' 'Yes, you should've,' snapped the Santa. Now let me think a minute... okay, here goes: Banta dead. Maruti for Sale.' 2.One Bengali Babu went to Cannought Place in New Delhi to purchase an umbrella. He had been told in Calcutta that one could bargain for better prices in Delhi also. Bengali Baboo: How much does this umbrella cost? Shopkeeper: Rs. 200 Bengali Babu: Can I have it for Rs. 100? Shopkeeper: Ok I'll give it to you for Rs.150. Bangali Babu: Well can I have it for Rs. 75 then? Shopkeeper: OK, take it for Rs. 100. Bangali Babu: Can I have it for Rs. 50? Ths shopkeeper is pretty angry now: Why don't you take it for free??!! Bengali Babu: OK, can I have two of them? 3.At 11.55pm, Banta Singh was watching television at home. He began to get nervous because it was almost 12pm. He was worried that stupid things done by sardarjis would soon start being reported on TV. He wondered how he could stop this? Switching off his TV was not enough, since all his neighbours would be watching and they would get to see any reports that came up on TV. So Banta got up and rushed out. Posing a TV repairman, he went to twelve of neighbours houses and damaged their TV sets. When he returned to home his TV was showing the news: 'Mad Sardaji causes havoc in neigbourhood!'. Banta felt quite pleased with himself, 'Good thing I destroyed all those TV sets! I knew this was going to happen!'