Jokes: Let's Have Some Marriage Laughter.. only for Laughssssss Please

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Jeejaaji, Nov 17, 2014.

  1. Jeejaaji

    Jeejaaji Bronze IL'ite

    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    *Let's Have Some Marriage Laughter.. only for Laughssssss Please*

    *For **Sale** :** *
    *Wedding Dress, Size 8**.** *
    *Worn Once **By Mistake.*
    *Every Wife Is A 'Mistress" For Her Husband.*
    *"Miss" For One Hour** **&** **"Stress" For** **the Rest 23 Hours..!. *
    *There Are Two Times* *When** **A Man Doesn't Understand **A Woman*
    *Before Marriage* *And After Marriage.*
    *Wife : I** **Will Die.*
    *Husband : I** Will Also Die.*
    *Wife : Why **Will You Die ?*
    *Husband : Because **I** **Can't Bear That Much Happiness..!.** *
    *My Husband And I **Divorced Over Religious Differences.*
    *He Thought He **Was God, And I Didn't**.** *
    *Marriage Is Like A Public Toilet *
    *Those Waiting Outside Are Desperate To Get In *
    *& Those Inside Are Desperate To Come Out.*
    *Text Messaging
    Husband Sends The Following Message To His Wife
    My Love,
    If You're Sleeping, Send Me Your Dreams.
    If You're Smiling, Send Me Your Smile.
    If You're Crying, Send Me Your Tears.
    I Love You.
    Wife Texted Back :
    I'm In The Toilet,
    What Should I Send You?*
    *Whisky Is A Brilliant Invention. *
    *One Double And You Start Feeling Single Again.*
    *A Man Goes To The Wizard To Ask If **He Can** *
    *Remove A Curse He Has Been Living With For The Last 40 Years**.** *
    *The Wizard Says, "Maybe, **But You Will Have To Tell Me** *
    *The Exact Words That **Were Used To Put The Curse On You**."** *
    *The Man Says **Without Hesitation**,** *
    *"I Now Pronounce You Man And Wife." *
    *Husband Searching Keywords On Google `How To Tackle Wife?`
    Google Search Result, `still Searching`.*
    *Husband Throwing Darts At His Wife’s Photo And Not Even A Single One
    Hitting The Target..*
    *From Another Room Wife Called The Husband : “Honey What Are You Doing..*
    *Husband: “MISSING YOU”..*
    *A Man Goes To** **See The Rabbi. *
    *"Rabbi, Something Terrible Is Happening And I Have** **To Talk To You
    About It."** *
    *The Rabbi Asked,** **"What's Wrong?"** *
    *The Man Replied, "My** **Wife Is Poisoning Me."** *
    *The Rabbi, Very** **Surprised By This, Asks,** **"How Can That Be?"** *
    *The man then pleads,** **"I'm telling you, I'm certain** **she's poisoning me,** **what should I do?"** *
    *The Rabbi** **Then Offers, *
    *"Tell You What. Let Me Talk To** **Her, I'll See What** **I Can Find Out And I'll Let You Know."** *
    *The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, *
    *"Well I Spoke** **To Her For Three Hours.** *
    *You Want** **My Advice?"** *
    *The Man** **Said Yes *
    *The Rabbi** **Replied, *
    *"Take** **The poison*
    Oh lord, these brain cells you gave me!
    They developed and vanished, but I now have to live with my ever growing fat cells.

    Fat me. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose
    fitting clothing. Damn you If I HAD any loose fitting clothing why would I sign up for weight loss class!
    Mess up like me, I wish our life had three buttons, "CONTROL, ALT AND DELETE" like PC, press together, forget all past and start all over again?

    :cool2:Keep smiling :cool2:
    1 person likes this.

  2. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    ha ha ha

    some are not just for laughs - they are damn serious :):):)
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page