Jeans Situation at MILs

Ok..So I am here with my situation with MIL..

I am going to India post delivery with baby and going to IL's first. I have doubled up my size post delivery and not to mention health issues and emotional issue because of hectic life and some other problems.

Mine was love and inter state marriage with ILs highly conservative. My MIL comes from I do not know which generation.
I do not wear western/jeans at my MILs or enter the house in jeans. I change at airport, or go to my mothers (different place, 20 hrs away) to get new dresses. Now this time, I do not have any Indian dress fitting my size with me in US and I have no option. Should I buy from those ebay websites is another question?

Now when I was married, she never let me stand in their yard without neck/front/head etc covered. Now after all these years, she will not let me walk into their streets without head covered. .. I know I burn inside when I think what I got into.
She would literally keep scanning me jewelry, and put things/covers on head, keep covering arms for sleeveless.

Many yrs later I realized its not worth it. I have many more places to do fashion so I do not or can not stay there > 10 days. I suffocate and count 10 days.

Not that she cares for me a lot, or gifted me eve, but I do not want any fighting or go there and create issues just because that 70+ old year woman has not seen any outside world and has not seen bigger issues in life other than how DIL should wear.

Once my MIL did not let me go to some village function, because I did not have saree to wear to function( I had not brought on purpose) ..women will be talking.

My H is normally not old fashioned but he becomes stranger to me when at ILs place. I have no support from him.

Usually he is the real problem creator for me we are at their place. MIL does not let me enter kitchen, touch etc..because no bath and DH fights you do not work. When I am sweeping,moping the whole house and washing tons of utensils early morning, or late afternoon, either he is overslept because of late night partying or gone for partying. He is real ****.

Now, I talk to him about this issue. He does not say once - do not worry, I am with you, I will see. But he gets mad me..His reaction.. "Ok You do not go.. You tell them.." . Anyways his words have 0- value at his place. Goddess MIL does not listen to him.

On top of that, I feel really embarrassed as my mom knows these issues and this time they are also coming on baby's function.

Just for your info: I do not talk or phone much to my ILs or MIL. Infact I never call them. I use to..as a duty, but in past, problems with H, then his attitude with me at ILs, drifted me apart. Being from different culture, working against her wishes, not serving her son much or educated or modern per her standards, I am not much liked and seen as rebel. Moreover, when ever we talk, it never about my problems, my work , my life, Its about her other sons, family or grandkids, their poo color or sneezing of someone or stress or sleeplessness of someone. When I start saying something, She says ..Ok.. go now..Like I never had problems because I live in US.

Now how do I handle all this without creating fuss? If I fight or raise my voice, even I am going to cry after it. She will not say anything in front of DH. Then I land up there in jeans, if she keeps me in hiding, till the day I get Indian dress, I am going to be all flaming up.

 

Thanks VanithaSudhir

I do not see Indian Kurta's here in Indian Stores But I was thinking ordering 1-2 online. I know they are going to be of low quality and who knows fitting. Moreover, When I explain my H about ordering ( I use his credit card etc), things will get little heated again as I will have to speak its because of your MIL and no one wants to hear bad or negative about their family.


Kurta over jeans, is the closest I can do but I know she is not going to accept it.. no dupatta right. I cook in kitchen with dupatta and roam around with dupatta..Now with my bulged body, guys around might imagine the body parts... right so every thing, all contours should be hidden. Only big ugly tummy is allowed to be shown from saree. I hate myself.. I want to big storm to come and stop me from going there.

Right now, with baby,work I am so vulnerable. Me and my H, shout at each other for small things. Ghee on our fire is in India.