Jealous Friends!!!

Dear OP,

Reading your post is reminding my days couple of years ago, not with weeknesses but even with good achievements people/friends used to put me down with something or other at that moment.

What I did later: STOPPED sharing everything/anything about my life, just started talking about general topics nothing personal.

But in your case its little bit late, so you limit your interaction with her, limit your sharing info, ignore or back anws her comments, firmly tell her its not nice to hurt someone with words, if she still continues tell her you dont want to entertain such things anymore!!!!

Good luck

 

@sensitivegal
This happens a lot among girlfriends. It is nothing you have done, it's them feeling insecure. Basically, everyone has problems, but some insecure girlfriends see a friend who seems perfect and targets them for not able to achieve what is missing in their life.
Don't head to them. Don't tell your problems or your happiness for few days. If you consider her to be your close friend, give it few days and tell her how you feel bad about her behavior and tell her she has hurt you.
This specifically has worked for me in the past, some of my good friends have understood and are able to reconcile with me after I have shared my feelings by apologizing or saying how they didn't know the comment hurt. At some point, some friends have just stuck to their view and said I should look at it in the perspective they are trying to convey. It has helped me bond well.
It is either you talk to them about how you feel or just drop these friends.

 

Neighbour ladies becoming close friends happen in rare cases.In many other situations,we think them to be our close friends until they show their true colour.In your case, this neighbor lady is insecure because you are earning well,good looking,travel frequently-which she doesn't have and so she wants to pinpoint those things which you don't have in life.

Stop sharing all details with her.To start with,don't meet her everyday,rather meet her once a week or once in 3 days,say that you were busy/tired something.If she asks about your life,just say regular office work or life as usual reply and stop it.Project as though you have nothing interesting going on in your life.Don't extend your conversation for more than 5 to 10 minutes.

Last,take your time to find a friend who matches your wavelength and open up to them.Breakups in friendship are difficult to handle and takes a lot of time to heal.

 

Yeah. I feel that too. I had many many such experiences from my neighbors, colleagues. Some behave like sadists to hurt us. I think that happens only when they are burning inside with jealous about us. You know what I try to avoid those kind of people for my own peace. In fact I really learnt many wonderful things to deal with such kind of people after reading advises of beautiful ILites in many threads and to my own thread. I saw many female colleagues who try to act like strangers after I share some personal problems.
My recent experience is: this week I was invited for a first year birthday party of one of my colleague son who is my neighbor too. I was late as it was week day, I had to pick my daughter from day care after office, give her food, make her ready, myself getting ready etc. When I reached their home cake cutting was over, all guests had their food too. I was offered a cake by some other neighbor and I had it. I gave gift to my colleague wife and she gave a smile which I felt very forceful. I was speaking with few known people there. My colleague wife crossed by and I started speaking with her casually about her son. She was looking at my dress, my earrings etc rather showing interest in speaking to me.Oh god, she did not even mind to tell me to have food. I dressed my daughter so beautifully may be that pinched her god knows the reason. I left it and started speaking to others. As people started leaving I also thought I will leave as I need to get ready for next working day. I said bye to her and again a forceful smile she gave. This is how we are supposed to treat guests? She was the one who called me. I hardly speak to her and my colleague when we come face to face either near home or in office. I can clearly see jealous on her face. I decided to ignore her whenever I meet her going forward. That is not to insult her, but to respect myself as we deserve self respect.... This a small incident. I have many such experiences. I used to feel hurt a lot before. But not anymore. We should give such people back nicely so that once again they should not dare to do that. I am learning to do that..

 

Very well said. I love your attitude !

 

Op , First of all minimize deep talks with such ladies. Some people take cheap pleasure in demeaning others or nitpicking endlessly. Do not post status like u are sad, happy or any such things. There are some people like parasites who attach themselves in case they see such posts and ridicule you. True friends will call you or message you asking you are you okay. One of my friends during such trying time even without me telling her called me asked me how I was doing even without me telling her directly but hearing from her husband in passing talk.Pick friends who are good for deep talk. Rest keep at general level.It will keep you happy and worry free.Good Luck.

 

Although everyone's life is different, my life is way too better than her in several aspects.
Not only this I look pretty compared to her
More often than we realize what we think reflects in what we say or do and puts people on their defensive. U have already started along the path of comparison ....jealousy is the only possible outcome.