Jab DIL - MIL gaye..!!!

I was planning to scribble this article long back,but office work,canada travel delayed it..A story which i managed to collect the information from the person who shared it with me in bits and pieces over a period of time.I was in a confusion on what part to include and what not.Every situation was important and led to a lengthy article.Pardon me if u r left with boredom

"Didi..." a shout from my sister Latha which killed my small nap in the guest room. I hardly slept for a 4 hrs in past 3 days."The time is already 8 am and we had many arrangements to do for the akshatarohan". Latha said it without taking breath. Yes, it is my Son's wedding day. A few days before marriage will always be an exciting days and everybody will be in a hurry to finish all the work except the sleep.

Thanks to the never ending traffic, It took almost 2 hours for the pandit to reach the mantap and it was already 10. But somehow my brother managed to bring him. I called my husband who was gossiping with his friends seems to the only man without any work in the Mantap. When I was moving through the corridor of the mantap, the bride’s room door was partially open where my daughter in law (officially within few hours) was getting ready. I stood there to have a glimpse of her without her knowledge.

The girl entering my son’s life and eventually to our family is well educated and works as a Lecturer in a reputed degree college of the city. Her teeth and cheeks are specially designed to generate the most beautiful smile.
I should be the best Saas (mother in law) ever...!!! I said it to myself. Wait..!!Why.. ?Why should I be?

Even today the very word Saas sends cold down my spine. My MIL was the most powerful and dominating person when I got married in early 80s. Though she hardly attended any schooling, she knew how to run the household on her own. She was always ready to have a lengthy conversation with any one (including outsiders) leaving other household chores as it is. She had a total of 5 children-3 daughters and 2 sons my husband being the youngest. The two elder sisters are married and the younger daughter used to stay here most of the time since her husband did not have pretty good job.

My husband’s elder brother was a kind of semi mad and sometimes he himself does not know what he speaks. His first wife committed suicide by jumping into the well. Her parents blamed him, but they did not seek the help of police. Within a year, he married to another woman and now has 4 kids..!!!All these happened before I stepped in as a youngest DIL.
In those days, my MIL was always on the ninth cloud as they constructed the house on their own. When my relatives came to know about this, they started teasing me. I was born and bought up in the rented house and own house was a dream. My dad had a job in the state government office as he secured 10th rank in some degree exam, but the ego factor made him to sit in home. He soon started a cloth business. It was a big failure followed by an intentional poverty which made me to study only till 10th standard. The funny part is that my dad does not remember or scribbled the date when I was born. The school records shows that it is 01 June since schools open on that day for admissions…!!!!!

Every day SIL used to create new stories about me and my MIL used to start shouting by sitting on the wooden sofa. I never cared about it and used to get busy with household chores. My mom always taught me cleanliness within the home. But here nobody knew how to eat properly and keep things back when not in use. This added as an extra task to the existing daily chores. My husband always came to home late and irrespective of what day it is, he never used to sit at home and take rest. Let it be Sunday, National holiday anything…Though the house was big looking like, there was no privacy for me and husband. Every week, SIL and BIL used to fight for one or the other reason. BIL used to stay separately with his wife in two rooms attached to the building. Since I was staying with MIL and SIL, I had to take their side resulting in enmity with BIL and his wife as a byproduct. My Husband always supported MIL and never spoke a word against her. I was a kind of isolated without any support and nobody was there to listen to me.
As the time went on, we were blessed with boy and girl. I was overjoyed as my family is complete. Unlike today, it was an era of postal letters to convey the messages. My FIL was very happy about this news since his elder son never allowed his kids near to them.

The fight of BIL and SIL slowly started creeping between me and MIL. Things went on bad thereafter and my husband decided to move out of the so called house and started stay in a rented house. Unfortunately we got the single rented room just few buildings away with shared bathroom. Kids were too small to understand all these things. With a less salary of husband, somehow life started moving. There was a financial burden. At least once a week, FIL used to visit us. He always had a soft corner for us and everyday appreciated the food prepared by me. The guilty consciousness haunted me and whenever prepared any special foods, I used to send to FIL and MIL via kids.

The next few years were simply started to complicate the life in terms of relation, financial aspect. The Old age factor crawled FIL to troubled sickness. My Husband at least being sensitive to his parents took him to Hospital. FIL was subjected to N number of tests. The stay in Hospital was like a picnic spot. Every other relative would come to see him. BIL being eldest hardly came once or twice to hospital. My Husband never uttered a word about the expenses being incurred for this hospitalization. Being a summer vacation to my kids, they spent most of the time in hospital assisting in whatever level they can. It was the time when other kids enjoyed in playground, but here my kids are being deprived of it. I used to prepare the food in home, pack it for everyone and bring it to hospital as early as 9 am and leave at 7 pm. Just to save those 2 rupees for auto, I preferred to walk a distance of 4kms .I tried to be an economical wife. Thanks to almighty, the hospital had a scheduled bus everyday for general public in the evening.
As soon as doctor saw the sign of recovery, they discharged him. But was again admitted within a month or two. This continued for next 5 years. Finally it was destined for him to depart from this world.

My MIL was shrinked after his death since women in those days considered themselves as most powerful as long as husband is alive. In those days FIL and MIL had so much property in terms of open land, but was registered to some benaami because of the property rule imposed during Indira Gandhi’s regime. All the SIL were gifted with an open land. While most of the benaamis refused to give back the land, we were left only with a single house which was about to be partitioned between the two sons. We were forced to move in to the house from rented one considering the situation. But husband was struggling with the medical bills of FIL by taking money at higher interest rates. There were many times, he did not gave salary to me to meet the household expenses. The news of his debt made to cry, fight with him and MIL. The mangalsutra which I wore weighed almost 30 gms and was a resultant of my secret savings done from past 5 years. It was sold out in an effort to recover from the debt. MIL could not even understand the situation of her son. The pension received her was never shared with us. In fact she used to buy jewelleries for her daughters. I still can’t remember as what she did to those gold and silver chains that were given to my kids when they were born. My main concern was about the education to my kids. Every day she used to go to her daughter’s place and come back. The fact that women always takes more time to get ready was not applicable to her and her maximum time taken to get ready was 15 minutes..!!

I dared to rent out a single room from our portion to meet the growing expenses by ignoring the nasty comments of everyone. Also I started to take tuition classes to primary school students in evening. Due to the lack of space and my education level, I handled only 5-10 students for a maximum of 5th standard.

It was the happiest moment when my son got came out with flying colors in his 12th exam and entrance test. His intention was to study in a reputed college outside the city. Owing to the current situation, he decided to get admitted in local engineering college. After 2 yrs, my daughter too got admission in the same college. Most of son’s friend was humble enough to pick and drop him from house to college and college to house. He realized the situation and never asked for any materialistic comfort. But being a mother, I always wished to see my son riding a bike. It remained as a dream.
Their studies continued amidst the everyday fight with BIL . He filed a civil case in the court over the property against my husband. In the mean time, MIL passed away which only worsened the situation since the property was not completely transferred from her name to my husband and BIL’s name. The case is still pending without any proper decision. The lawyers from both the sides were happy as they continued to get their fees.

My Son graduated with good percentage and moved to Bangalore to get the job. To support himself financially, he started working in a BPO during night and did the job hunting during day time. I literally cried for two reasons every day. One, he moved away from home after long years staying with us . second, the stress he was undergoing in the job hunting process. This continued over next 8 months and one fine day he gave happy news of his employment in a MNC. It was the day when I thanked God like anything for showing some relief amidst the problematic situation.

Things went on and my son helped us in improving the financial condition. Our daughter got married to a nice guy. She is leading a happy married life. The good thing is that her MIL is loves her very much and my daughter rarely calls me. What else a mother can ask to Almighty. Soon my son got engaged and we were ready with his marriage preparation.

A month after engagement, our future DIL came to the house. I had a chance to talk to her all alone. She told about her hobbies, interest, love for pets etc… She even expressed her generic fear towards MIL which she heard all those stories and incidents from her friends. I told her that I had been in her shoes and can understand her situation. I promised that she will be loved by everyone in our family more than our daughter. I could witness the happiness flowing from her eyes and suddenly she hugged me. This act made me surprise. Even my daughter never hugged me properly. It was a relief to know that things are going in a right direction. I wished I could have done the same thing long back which could have made my MIL to be on right direction to some extent. Hiding from everyone, I took her to my room and gave her the beautifully designed golden bangles which I bought it with the help of my son. She thanked me and again hugged. My son is lucky enough to as he is getting married to her.

Suddenly I came back to real world when the high pitch music begin to play inside the mantap. I went inside the room and started adjusting the saree of my DIL. Eventually everything went smoothly and after marriage most of the relatives sat back and started cracking jokes leading to the happy waves all around. At 10 pm in the might most of them left to their homes ending the day. It was a tired day, but a happy day. God bless my Son and his wife(oops..sorry ..it is my DIL akka my heart..!!!!)

 

Sofeaji,
very true indeed. Its just a small change in thinking which makes life so beautiful..

 

nimnikji,
yes..i was really happy when came to know abt the happy marriage.
But the difficult part for me was to gather the info.After that marriage,I almost lost the contact with the family. I dont regret it as long as God's grace is there on that family..!!

 

phenox ji,
yep. it is the thinking which solves most of the problems..

 

charuji,
Im with u on that point...!!