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Jaan- Jani Dushman

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Tridev, Jun 12, 2010.

  1. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    I thought to pen down some thoughts as am seeing my friend going through such a phase in his life with his wife, and we all hear where in people who used to love each other so much, who used to say I cannot live without the other, how they hate and how hateful they become of each other. My friend and his wife could not live peacefully nor are able to dissolve it peacefully due to non coopeartion of his wife.

    Yesterday when I called him he was on his way to his brothers place. I asked what happened he said his son called him(13 years old) that his mom that is my friends wife had been to police to lodge a complaint against him and has spoken to some lawyer who advised her to go to hospital(govt) and get a certificate of injury somehow claiming that it is inflicted on by her husband.

    Just some background my friend too has lodged complaint but a NC against her as he was worried she can harm anyone in anger. That was the reason and he said she knows why he lodged it, and it was not false.

    My friend was worried so he said he does not know what to do ,whether he will be arrested, he himself being a lawyer now is running for safety until he knows the charges and can get bail either anticipatory or otherwise.

    Not sure how much he will endure by the time he is divorced...

    Why do Jaan becomes Jani dushman(whether husband or wife) when they seperate, that is a million dollar question ?
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2010
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  2. Coffeelover

    Coffeelover Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry to hear about your friend. Normally women get the support form the society. Men suffer. Ask him to get a lawyer as soon as possible. Contact the domestic violence institution for support. They help you.

    I know a woman who lied to us about her husband and we supported her. After 7 years, I am finding out that she told us all kind of lies. Society always supports women. so please ask him to get lawyer and other support.

    Good luck.
     
  3. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    There is no harm to support I feel, but society should support both men and women . Also one has to know all the facts before doing something. He is scared to go home and his wife is violent type. I told him to look a rental place and not live with her until divorce is finalised and every day he will have to endure the torture. But sadly he is not having enough money or income as of now , as he quit his job and started his practice at 41 age... There is a proverb, jab musibat aati hai har taraf se aati hai" and that is absolutely true.

    He was worried if she has filed 498A or police will register under some force as she is a woman then again useless battle in court to prove innocence. The worst part is if court finds out the complaint has no basis all it does is dismiss the case , why not put the woman in jail?


    thanks for your suggestion and sharing true story.

     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2010
  4. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Tridev, I feel sorry for people who're wrongly implicated under a false allegation and it applied either ways.. at home or in court... whether its for a man or a woman.

    Mudslinging is a common part of rotten relationships... also we know
    "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

    Some are by default scorned for no fault of recepient and some do get roasted over time in their marital house... what matters is tolerance level of that woman.

    I saw my friend using it for her estranged husband to get him into the court which he was missing on one pretext or the other and I shall support that he did enough to scorn her off.. she dint want any fun out of all this but yes she wanted a straight forward fast track judgement on her plight and got over with it. I wont call it a MIS-USE but yes a USE since he MISUSED her a lot and am a witness.
     
  5. ArchanaP

    ArchanaP Silver IL'ite

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    Tridev,

    From your post and little details about your friend, it does not look like your friend's wife was ever a "jaan" to him. So there is no chance of becoming a Jani dushman from Jann. She was always what she is now, it's just that your friend is realizing and accepting the kind of person she is.

    I hope and pray your friend gets out of the situation soon.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 15, 2010
  6. sarma

    sarma Senior IL'ite

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    Sorry, Tridev. I was sympathetic up to the point I read that your friend is a lawyer. You lost me there completely buddy:)

    I am not sure that his complaint is that innocent. It may be some legal strategy to get some kinda leverage and he apparently drew the first blood! Too bad she also seems to have hired a pretty mean lawyer herself! :)

    BTW, what's NC?
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2010
  7. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    aaah I too didnt read that the friend was a lawyer:bonk
     
  8. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    Jaan means love of the life, more on the positive side. Jaani Dushman means sworn enemy. Jaan guess is used positively and jaani only negatively. Maybe some native Hindi speaker can advise us better.
     
  9. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    So the love of your life becomes your sworn enemy? Quite the contradiction !! LOL
     
  10. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Yes thats what the Jaan-Jaani phrase in the title is supposed to imply.
     

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