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It has become difficult to get a suitable match for girls

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Aug 16, 2010.

  1. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Now a days finding a match has become very difficult. The girls have good jobs and they find difficult to get a proper match.

    My husband's niece is a CA and her parents started searching match for her since she was 24 years. She wanted boy from Bombay only. Her parents also have been searching from then , now she will be 37 years and till now she is not married. In searching a match either she does not like the boy or he is not well qualified and so many other things.
    So till now her parents could not get a proper match for her. They told her also if she wants she can select herself.

    People blame the parents saying they are not trying to get a match for her. She gets irritated when she hears the people's talk. She says why do they blame my parents when I am to be blamed because I am not getting proper person. Now she has become the Director and it is more difficult to find a person holding a post above her.

    Now seeing everyone's problem after marriage, she is not interested in marriage. She tells her mother I will look after you all and dont force me to get married. The other day her mother was telling me this and I told her when she is not interested dont force her. Her daughter is not much interested in marriage. She is happy as she is. Only thing later when the parents are no more it might be difficult for her. But God is there and He will take care of her.

    Now a days when they dont get proper match the parents themselves tell their children to find a match. Another couple also they could not find proper match in their caste , so the boy has married a Kannada girl from his own office.
     
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  2. BeeAmma

    BeeAmma Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Viji Aunty,
    Good topic. Educated middle class girls are becoming more financially independent, however society has not yet readjusted to this. While the extra income is appreciated, the request for reduced household responsibilities is met with scorn. The expectation is that like a robot she work and make money and come home and do housework also. I think this mentality has to change.

    Also while we are allowed to be assertive at work to get work done, at home we are expected to play the coy dil.
     
  3. jananirbk

    jananirbk Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Viji Madam:

    You gave a nice advice to your niece!! Itz true that we should not force anyone to mrg!! These days it is becoming difficult to get suitable match not only for girls, but also guys!! There are a couple of guys in my family and in my in-law's family whom we all are searching for girls :), may be coz of small families of having one or two kids, it is getting difficult I guess ;-)

    With Love
    Janani Natarajan
     
  4. swathi14

    swathi14 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viji,

    very practical problem prevailing now-a-days. even for boys, there is no proper match.

    Boys' parents are complaining that girls are studying high and their pay scale is more than the boy and they dont want to marry a middle class boy with nominal income. Finding a perfect match and leading a happy married life is really a god's gift. But if your niece is not interested in marriage, we cant force them.

    andal
     
  5. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Dear BeeAmma

    Thank you for your first fb. I agree with your views. Now a days girls also expect more because they are independent and well educated.

    love
    viji

     
  6. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Janani

    Thanks. True earlier only the parents of girls used to search for marriage for their daughters ,but now parents of boys have also started searching. My dh's niece is happy in her present life and since her parents dont have a son its ok as of now.

    love
    viji


     
  7. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Swathi

    Ya what you have mentioned is right. True finding a perfect matchand leading a happy life is God's gift. Right if she is not interested why to force her to marry

    love
    viji


     
  8. lathaviswa

    lathaviswa IL Hall of Fame

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    It is not only diffcult to girls but for boys too.Coin has both sides.
    Eachother has to look out for suitable person.
     
  9. ArabianDoll

    ArabianDoll Senior IL'ite

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    well ma'am,read ur blog..it is ofcourse true that it is hard to find a suitable match for a girl or a boy.Marriage is like a sneeze,when time comes nobody can stop it or avoid it.In ur neice case,maybe she is contented in her life and not interested in marriage.i wonder how her parent's mentality is..so far what i have heard is,every parent thinks their duty and happiness is fulfilled when they knot their daughter with the potential match and witness her generations multiplying.....
    Well,iam running 23 and not yet married(my place 23 is tooo old and girls of my age are married here).the alliances just skip due to some reasons.even i m like ur neice who gets very irritated when people comment on my parents that they are not intersted to get me married as they feel insecure of their life,and giving too much space for me to judge..however it is not at all true..they are so worried and cant answer public questions which makes me so fed up and think that i need to give peace to my parents..
    if two more year goes,i willbe in the list of aged girl group,after that it will be even more tough..anyway my parents dont force me,they give me chances..but as a daughter i feel i have to give up my stubborness in expectations and go on....

    so overall,i guess it depends on each person's mentality,attitude and situations..
     
  10. AkilaMani

    AkilaMani Local Champion Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear viji amma,

    A nice topic. It is so true that now a days it is getting difficult to find a proper match for both girls and boys. What with the growing financial indepence of the girls, the horoscope troubles, the boys education and salary to match with the girls.... the list is endless.

    Sometimes I feel that if they cut back on insisting so too much on perfect horoscope matching, things could ease at least for a few. Many won't agree with this..... Its just my opinion!!

    Akila
     

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