It happens only at In-laws's house

hmmm will keep it in my mind to post here after a year!

 

My FIL is really testing my patience..

DH (and me) takes care of his parents completely.. Though he has 2 elder brothers, they are only for occupying FIL’s 2bhk house with their spouse and nothing more.. My DH bought a separate house before our marriage and it was registered in FIL's name as he was not in india.. We couldn't stay in that house as it too far from my and DH office.. so we stayed in rent house and PIL's came and stayed with us. Initially I was happy as elders will help in managing the house but never knew that we would be turn into ATM for all their expenses.

Rent was rocket high and decided to buy flat and atleast spend for EMI's. We got financially tight and hence i pushed my DH to rent out his house so that rent can be used for atleast some expenses. MY FIL suddenly planned and told DH that rent of that house will go to his account for their future safety. I was damn shocked to hear this..

My FIL is spendthrift.. Even after spending for all their expenses (medical, travel, day to day), he is still planning for his future safety when he is already 65+.. then what about DH, Me and baby who is on the way?

My FIL does not want to settle my DH house legally saying if it’s in FIL's name, the property will not be sold.. :rantbut will it ever come to my DH hand's ?

I just don’t like seeing my FIL face these days.. the day he said rent will go to his account, i lost respect in him..

Am I the only one venting about FIL and not MIL :hide:

 

Re: It happenly only in ILs house

Very true.....

 

wait a couple of years.. at least till you get a kid.. though i was unlucky enough to have a mil who has been pretty mean from the beginning onwards, my sis had the best mil ever for the first 3 years.. then her daughter was born and things did an about turn..

 

Bavishya andAG this rule helps me a lot. My ILS never acknolwedge this. I dont know to break a coconut :hide:. So happy about this.

QUOTE=attitudegirl;2984199]Oh God!!! Coconut, coconut, coconut everywhere!!!!!!!! [/QUOTE]

 

Oh I am in a similar situation as you are.

My DH brought a land before marriage and he was paying EMIs all this while. Last month, when the loan was repaid, my FIL asked my husband to pay him the amount that he used to pay for the EMI. So now my DH pays my FIL a huge chunk of money so that FIL can save for the future!!

No change in our life - the last 3 years of my marriage, me and DH havent been able to spend any money on ourselves due to the huge EMI...now we cant spend because we have to pay my FIL!!!

I really dont think, my FIL (or yours) has any intention of saving for himself or for anyone. Its just about control. Whatever happens, they are the ones who must stay in control!! That's the idea.

 

Ha! So you mean to say she may change after a kid? I can understand what you mean, but I myself am a very practical person. What my MIL will change into in future is something I can never predict. So I try to be open, she may / may not change. Like you said, even H or for that matter any relationship may turn sour after a period of time, one can never tell. But in this one year if there was one thing my MIL learned about me, she can never dominate me! I am only appreciating her for what she is to me NOW!

 

Actually this happens a lot I guess. In my case, I never wear any jewels, mangalsutra, metti, kumkum or anything that would denote I am married. My MIL has not even once casually asked me why I dont wear it. Note: She is very religious! But I know there are a few nosy neighbors who try to instigate her against me as to why I dont wear any of it. So far she hasn't been affected by their questions.

 

my mil was so lovely in the first one year.. later the relatives got jealous and continously taught how to be a normal one .. in fact i think they have told her that dil is slave and u can shout at her whenever u want ...

 

My hubby used to take out in bike wherever he goes in hometown .. .his relatives were commenting in front of me to my mil " see .. dont send ur son like this alone.. he will become attached to wife and abondon u " ...All these comments were made in front of me ... from then onwards , whenever my hubby calls me for going out, my mils says ' y r u calling your wife ..go alone ' ... i got irritated ...
Similarly my mil used to cook , i used to cut vegetables.. for that dh's grandmom told his mom ' ur dil should cook for u ... u shld never cook for her..' but thank god we still continue same ritual of mil cooking and me helping her,,
Lots of time i ve seen dh's grandma ( mil's mom) injecting insecurity in her and teaching her