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Issues with my FIL

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by aswathy, Nov 26, 2007.

  1. aswathy

    aswathy New IL'ite

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    Dear all/
    Iam a wrkng women and we me and my hus will be avilable at home onli on sundays
    we have a 6yr daughter also.

    My Prblem is that my FIL is a widower he is living separaetely . 4 years back he got married bcos of our regular presures. my hsband is the younger son of all 3 sons
    The problem is that my FIL will call every weekend ther he stays far away from us also hes a charecter like that he dont like hus and wife sitting together bcos i thnk he didnt gtet any affections and thngs from wife at his young age

    My husband and me used to quarrel in this matter of gng to FIL place he says that we shld sacriface our time to him like that i am against that why shld we my point is that we can go but we have our on thngs na we shld give imp to our family also

    With these issues iam very far away from my husband even in bed also

    Pls suggest what to do?


  2. JayaJ

    JayaJ Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Aswathy,

    Yours seems to be a catch 22 situation. Firstly, i think you need to stop thinking negatively about your FIL. please understand that he feels lonely especially since your MIL is not there...he must be missing her and trying to overcome it by wanting to spend time with his children. i agree its 4 years but still one never gets over missing a loved one so soon. try to be generous in accepting him into your family. think of what you wud do if it were your father? would you leave him alone every weekend?
    it always helps to be kind to others.

    on the other hand, getting only one day off, you would naturally want to spend time with your husband and daughtr alone. i agree you need space for your own family bonding. y dont u try to balance both? visit your FIL on alternate weekends...
    tell your husband that you will visit FIL on alternate weekends as you also would like to spend alone with your husband and daughter....of spend half day with your FIL and the other half day with your husband and daughter.

    Try to find a balance. Be kind to old people and choose your battles wisely.

    Take care

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