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issues with hyper sensitive in-laws who creates problems

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Melody123, Apr 6, 2015.

  1. Melody123

    Melody123 New IL'ite

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    Dear friends, I have seen many threads posted in this forum and I find this the best shelter for my own problems. I really got fed up being a daughter in law for this household for 4 yrs. my in-laws are supportive to us since they want to be useful and want to be with their son. I am grateful to them for their support and I also respect them a lot. But sometimes their activities hurt. My daughterly passport went missing. My Fil asked me if he could search my room. I agreed bcos he is like my father trying to help me. He is basically a very short tempered person and calculative and not very civilized to without broad thinking. He took each and every item of mine and saw a comb case where I had many combs with me and many items , jewelerry etc. After seeing those he commented angrily that I don't have good heart since I am having lots of things in my possessions and not showing anybody wht I have. I am keeping everything to myself. He said this in a harsh way. Then commented that I do not know how to be neat. That he is fed up with me. He asked me to throw away old pregnancy scan reports. I said i couldnt so he became angry and left the room. My Mil on the other hand runs the household and I am only a housewife. I do cooking cleaning, taking care of baby. I can't buy any household articles without her permission. I need to ask her and do each and everything even if I had to try any new dish or to give anything to my 2 yr old dd. So I am not able to do anything house related thinking its my house.be it cleaning or arranging or involving myself in other activities/events of the house. I am not able to live as a individual. They




    don't see me fit taking responsibility. Please I need to change myself.suggest something's friends. Thank u.
     
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  2. Harini73

    Harini73 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I can empathize with you situation. But I think you should not have allowed your FIL to search your room.Instead you would have offered to search for the same in your room.

    Also stop asking permission to try new recipe or giving something to your daughter.If possible try to be independent by going to job.
     
  3. mimi77

    mimi77 Gold IL'ite

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    In this kind of a family set up its advisable for you to do a full time / atleast a part time job....once you start earning you will naturally earn the respect you deserve and will also feel responsible....Try out activities that interest you...
     
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  4. sumalynux

    sumalynux IL Hall of Fame

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    I second mimi

    Better find a small job, if not full time to keep you occupied.
     
  5. deepideepi

    deepideepi Silver IL'ite

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    You should not have allowed ur fil to search in ur room. Seeing our stuff like cosmetic, jewelly, purse etc, the first thing that comes in their mind is waste of money. So i never show any stuff i purchase to them.
    Asking about each and every thing to MIL and taking permission for every thing, that is too irritating for grown up individual. I suggest u to reduce that slowly...For example today u can feed ur baby the thing u like. If she ask u then u can say my mom or friend of sis told me that this food is v. good for baby..next day u can go for buying groceries...or go to nearby temple. Just imform her, dont ask her.
    If she complain about this to ur husband of fil just tell them politely that as u r a dil u just want ur Mil to be free from the reponsibility. U r just trying to take some respinsibilites off from her shoulder.
     
  6. Melody123

    Melody123 New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your suggestions friends. I all definitely change my way of living
     
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  7. deepideepi

    deepideepi Silver IL'ite

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    We have to fight for our rights. Nobody is gonna give u simply, specially if u r dil. Whatever good u do to them they will remember your mistakes only. Do things that pleases u and make u feel good. Don't bother about them but don't misbehave with them. Be frank and firm. If they don't listen ignore and do whatever u like.
     

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