1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Issues with Brother in law (husband's brother) and Sister in law (Brother's wife)

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Tigress, Oct 8, 2009.

  1. Tigress

    Tigress New IL'ite

    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    I have been married for almost 3 years now. We had a joint family, my husband, his parents and brother his wife and his sister we all lived in our house. My sister in law and me were never bestest of friends but we were very happy never any issues. Now 9 months ago my brother in law and his wife moved out and bought their own house and all of a sudden we have started having issues. There are big misunderstandings over small issues mostly to do with my friends not being good to them etc. All the issues are minor but have been given lot of importance. Because of this our relations have disturbed I dont know what to do or how to handle this. I really really really dont want our relation to spoil. I would always give importance and respect to my family over any other person even if that is my best friend for 10 years.

    Any suggestions how to deal with BIL (Husbands brother) and SIL (brothers wife) ??
     
    Loading...

  2. adara

    adara Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    631
    Likes Received:
    31
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    I have my quota of issues with sister-in-law (brother's wife). After bother's marriage he is not the same old brother any more. He talks of we not paying respect to her and not treating her well. In a way me a sister has been pictured as witch to him by her. She tries to control him in how many times and in what way he talks to me. She does not like if he praises his own little sister.What a pity? A brother who knew me well before her no more talks,laughs and is his own self after marriage.

    God! What all we went through? I feel sorry for my parents who had so much of hope on my brother. What insults? What rude talking back to my parents? He is not their own old lovely, talkative son any more. My mom tried her best to make some peace and only got to hear that she is too interfering and nosy. In one of my posts I tried to put forth my agony only to hear from one of the ladies here that she in fact find my mom's way of trying to patch up as not a right approach. Anyway, I have given up entirely trying to put up with them so actually don't entertain talk other than the required one.
    My sister-in-law should be very happy one since I tried to keep my distance with my brother.
    Really, a lady is indeed capable of making or breaking any family and our family is one such example.....broken after my brother's marriage. My brother is to be blamed a lot too. But when I say we are not the same brother sister anymore it is all becos she feels she has not been given enough attention that she deserved. What more proof of giving attention than me keeping distance from a brother whom I could not bear not talking for even an hour.

    I have learned to live like this since I don't want to stir up any more fire from my sister-in-law as I love my brother too much.


    So if there is anything you can do then that is to keep your distance from these people. No amount of talking for peace will work in these relationships. There is too much ego involved and no one sees your point. They may even brand you as a wicked witch....so be careful and keep your distance!
    That is my advise after my experience in life. It is painful....extremely especially keeping distance from your own brother but then I find that the only solution.

     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2009
  3. sonika1976

    sonika1976 Junior IL'ite

    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    My sil(husbands brothers wife) is the only sane person and very civil with me in the entire side of my dysfunctional inlaws. She is the only one I can really communicate with. I think partly because we have one thing a common....some monsters in law that is :rotfl

    If you read my threads, you will realize that its not in our hands to fix anything. My brother in law has an issue with me from day 1. My cooking is not good, i am not the right match for his weird brother, i dont like his parents etc etc. I tried reasoning 3 yrs with this adams family and believe me its USELESS!!!!!

    I'd say and this is my opinion, talk to your sil ONCE and clear your mind. Tell your husband ONCE that you give up and cant try more. Thats it!! Go on with your life and ignore the problem creators.

    If your inlaws are even in a miniscule way like mine, you are wasting your time even thinking about this issue.

    You seem pretty level headed and willing to try. Thats good in some circumstances but i dont think trying would do much for people who love to make small problems huge.
     

Share This Page