1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Issue about spending your own hard earned money on your own parents

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by shridevi, Jul 23, 2012.

  1. shridevi

    shridevi New IL'ite

    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    I think this is very rare issue which i am going through. Actually I stay in Bahrain and now moving to Abu Dhabi with my hubby. My issue here is spending my own hard earned money on my own parents on which my hubby gets irritated.

    Actually problem started when i wanted to order a gold ring for my mother. my hubby is so selfish that he doesn't want me to spend money on my own mother. He started behaving very weirdly and every time what ever I take for my mother he wants me to take for his own mother also. And because of his behavior i couldn't place an order today but my heart is really paining that i don't even have right to spend my own money on my mother. i have decided that i will place an order without my hubby's idea. do you think what am i doing is correct. and i really need your valuable suggestion how to handle my hubby during these situations.

    Because of this i have started hating my hubby and my in laws. always he has to compare his parents with mine and because of which i really do not feel like getting close to my in laws. its my hubby's behavior that always keeps me to stay away from my in laws.
     
    Loading...

  2. GodIsOne

    GodIsOne Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    403
    Likes Received:
    662
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Is he saying no to you buying for your Mom or does he wants you to buy one for his Mom too? If it is the second one then what is the issue here? You spend your money on your Mom and he on his.
     
  3. shridevi

    shridevi New IL'ite

    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    that is what i am saying he spends his money on his parents but i should not spend my own earned money on my parents. i am not stopping him from spending money on his own parents.
     
  4. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,484
    Likes Received:
    4,110
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Sorry about your issue, but you have been in IL since 2007 and you may have noticed this issue is not rare at all. Every other week there is a topic like this.

    Coming to your question - Tell him that your parents have needs just like his, and they are human beings too.
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    23,654
    Likes Received:
    27,156
    Trophy Points:
    590
    Gender:
    Female
    yes it is your hard earned money.. your husband is not asking you not to get one for your mom, he says get one for his mom too..i do not understand what is wrong here.

    sometimes you need to keep a balance, as a son, he is trying to do that, simple issues like this tend to get blown up in the extended family..and he could be getting your MIL has become more important to you than your mom..imagine the situation accelerating from there. i find he is trying his best to balance it out..

    if you find this irritating, next time try this when he gets something for his mom, tell him why don't we get it for both set of moms...

    stop thinking from it is his mom and she is no where equal to mine..

    and btw your is not a rare issue and please do not give it too much importance and lose the trust of your husband by ordering something without his knowledge... a ring to your mother is not so important as to do something like going behind his back.
     
    3 people like this.
  6. mayaram

    mayaram Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    24
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Shri ,

    This is what i have been doing since 12 years now ...whenever u feel like gifting your mom ..even before u say that tell ur hubby its long time you havenot gifted anything to your MIL .....kind of reverse strategy but it surely works then when I go shopping I pick the best for my mom in my mind but for MIL the next best and convince DH that it will suit her the most .

    And whenever we gift he defntly makes a comment we picked up for both the moms ...my MIL defnetly doesnt like it but anything to see that expression on her face :rotfl..

    My dear you have to understand kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padta hain ( in order to get something u have to loose something ) :thumbsup

    good luck .iam sure you will come up with some strategy .

    Regards

    Maya
     
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page