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Is your mother in law like Lalita pawar???

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sonu_627, Nov 14, 2005.

  1. nitashah

    nitashah New IL'ite

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    Hii all...

    I may have said that the thr ee C's are fundamental in having a sound relationship but i am also in a deep fix!...help!!

    When i had gone to india some 10 years ago with my two kids, my FIL literally told me one night to get out if i didnt want to wear saris (i used to wear churidars)... i cried my heart out saying where would i go to buy sari in the night...they were living in Aradhana dhaam some km away from jamnagar. He didnt want to know anything. Hes dead anyway now.. my MIL stays with my SIL now. One day my hubby comes home and just says i want to look after my mother.... we have to move house!...

    I feel this should have been a family discussion ..not just drop bomb shell! And i know that living with my MIL will mean hell for me...as she has created a lot of hassles for me in the past and i dont want to encounter any of that.

    Because of this situation, my hubby has stopped paying rent..i am now paying rent. His strategy is that if i dont pay we wil be given notice and ultimately have to move out..yess..stay with his MIL!

    My daughter is in Aust...and my son in the UK whos finishing uni this year and coming back in August.

    Please help
     
  2. Anamika29

    Anamika29 New IL'ite

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    I also have a problem because my Mil uses my children to be bad to me. She thinks the children belong to her and she has rights. It really iritates me. Any one with same prb?
     
  3. vaidehi

    vaidehi Silver IL'ite

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    Hello there!

    AS i have been reading everyones share of exp, i feel all in laws are bound to behave in certain way. I am sure all these ilites who are posting their views are quite educated and modern in their thoughts and livings, then why this haterd for their son and dils. Why these mils and inlaws don't behave the same way with their duaghters who have been married out of the family to an outside guy.
    They treat their son-inlaw with so much respect and dignity,they try to shower all the love towards their daughters family, Really sometoimes such thoughts make me think and yet i m not able to find any solution for this.

    Is it that they worry for their daughters safety and happiness and cannot afford to make mistakes with her life, Have any of you ilites ever heard of S-i-L being tortured by the girls family after marrriage, (i guess it would bare minimum or varey rare).

    Maybe they treat the D-i-ls rudely since they have walked into their family and they feel they have the entire control over her and can do whatever they want.
    Only solution what comes to my mind is all the dils should treat their inlaws in the same manner how they treat her. if u get respect u have all the rights to shower respects towards the elders, if they forget how to treat a girl who has walked into the family, then they don't have any right to expect the same from her.
    With my exp i feel ,u should fight ur own battle, and if ur inlaws are violent towards u , show them that u can be a danger to them. Don't xepect any symapathy from anyone noteven ur husband.

    I don't know how many of u agree with my views, but i have tried this wayout after much struggle in my 4 yrs of married life and i m finding it to be helpful for me.

    Goodluck
    vaidehi
     
  4. Jaismine

    Jaismine New IL'ite

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    Hi friends,

    Same is here.I am also thinks that mine is the worst case in this world .

    i am agree with sonu Why everyone wants to their son to be like Rama but they themself dont turn like King Dasharath.They always behaves like Kaikai.

    What she had done i can't explain.
    I have VVVVVVVVVVVVVVry worst experience.:cry:
     
  5. Anushiv

    Anushiv Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Ladies,

    Mine is no different from urs. Comparison, criticism, poison coated sweet talks,sharp tongue ,sarcastic behavior, fault finder..what not to say?
    The reason is simple...jealousy & inferiority complex! They're insecure & need attention.
    they want me to report, update everything...initially I used to do it.
    Now I'm loosing my patience...I'm maintaining silence.
    Let them keep complaining...
    when ever the volcano erupts... I close my ears...
    I'm just doing my duty as a D-L... without expecting results

    Silence is Gold!:cry:
     
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  6. vidisha

    vidisha Senior IL'ite

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    Well said vaidehi,:clap

    I totally agree with u.
     
  7. nirmiti27

    nirmiti27 New IL'ite

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    mine is too...
    Here is the scenario ...
    AT in Laws...they are 2 bros a sister
    big bIL is a clerk. and has 8 thousand /pm sal..
    fil has a very little pension as he used up all his pension for his namesake daughters marriage and house..before marriage my hubby use to give full salary to them..and a keep need sake money to him after marriage we took a rented home 2bhk so that if any parents come they can have their space...which i was totally no-no...as they will be for short period..but no use...my fil said why u wasted money....then we started looking for buying a 2bhk....which cost 16lcks in 2004...so he said..see some small apt of1 bhk as you 2 r only going to live there...which was a shock for me....:idontgetit: but by chance we got a chance to goto uk for 2 yrs ..and were backafter 2 yrs..they started new expenses(all planned by mil )but beyond limit as a good reason...
    and then soon he went back to join his office..and started to find a new flat
    soon he got a flat which was around 32 lks...my IL said it is to costly..but you can buy as you have money....but they started tell all my relative that "my dil want a big house so he took a house such huge amount..." but they never tried to see the rate which were gone up.. the flat which we like before going to uk was now for 32 lks tht also 2 bhk...but all blame came on me..they always try to make some excuse and want money so that they can give it to elder bil..he has 1 son ..all expenses are done by us wht ever it is school gift toys clothes everything.....but they never think that we too have loan whose intrested is growing bigger n bigger......why r they not happy with wht they have...also FIL declared that his house and farms will be given to elder bil..nothing for us..it is ok..i can understand that bil salary is small...but then he has readymade house n farm no loan and only child...wht else does he need...but they want us to help them in such useless expense.....i hate them from my bottom of heart but still wish god will do good with them.... for some reasons which is a long story

    wht to do in such situation ...how can we stop such things as hubby cannot see this all plans ...he is blind in their love....wht to do[/quote]
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2007
  8. bluebanana

    bluebanana Bronze IL'ite

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    How can you claim that without knowing about my mil????? :p

    I can bet on that mine is worst...I hate her like anything.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2014
  9. lovelytulipz

    lovelytulipz Bronze IL'ite

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    NO no....My MIL should win the award for worst and worstest MIL. HUh for every festival her four daughters and son in laws should visit her home and eat food cooked by her. But my mom should not have such wishes. when her daughters come from home if their husband offers her tea or water, their Son in law is god. If her DIL comes home after hectic day her son should not ask even how is your day. If her offers water to DIL ' chi chi he is joru ka gulam '.
    I hate her.
     
  10. DGcreative

    DGcreative Platinum IL'ite

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    My MIL is my SIL's mother. SIL cant find a single fault in her mother. So I am the bad DIL having troubles adjusting with saintly MIL:twisted:

    MIL has 3 DDs. If none of them feel their mother is wrong & keep feeling sad for her that she has to stay with a non-adjusting DIL (thats me), why the hell any one of them take her for some time:rant

    You people are right here......I must have done some serious evil things in past life to get such MIL..........but wait....what about MIL.....she must have been even worst sinner that me......to get a DIL like me:yes:
     
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